Page 18 of Knot a Bad Idea

Get what?I want to ask, but I’m not sure I can handle the answer.

We’re fake dating.

We have a contract.

This is all pretend.

But the more I try to believe it, the more it sounds incorrect in my head.

“This is real, baby,” he says, as if reading my mind. “For all of us.”

I swallow. His eyes shine with earnestness, and I can’t hold his gaze.

I have the terrible urge to text Skylar and freak the fuck out.

But panic texting my friend in front of Hunter isn’t an option, especially when I feel his eyes trained on me.

Instead, my gaze flicks to the bed in the loft.

“I think…” I say as I stand. “I think I want to lie down.”

“I can leave, sweetheart,” he says softly as I head toward the steps. “I can pick you up later, if you want time alone.”

That’s the problem. I don’t want him to leave, but I also don’t want to discuss everything that’s building up inside of me.

Despite destroying the painting that depicted the ugliness inside of me, I still feel like a coward.

You have to take baby steps, April, my therapist’s voice says in my head.

I stop at the bottom of the stairs and turn to Hunter.

“You want to take a nap with me?”

His wicked grin tells me I made the right choice.

“Oh, come on,”I murmur as I slide under the sheets, “no bed should be this comfortable.”

“Of course it is,” Hunter says as I snuggle next to him. “I’m here, right?”

I chuckle. “You’re ridiculous.”

Hunter climbed into the bed first so I wouldn’t be trapped between him and the wall. And I locked the door to the studio myself, keeping us both protected from outside.

I have a key now.

I’m in control of leaving or entering.

Hunter begins to purr the moment I join him under the covers, and I place my head on his chest as he strokes my hair. Moonlight shines on us from the skylight above, and as I close my eyes and breathe in his rich, spicy scent, all is right in the world.

“I’ll never get over it,” Hunter says quietly after a moment of silence.

“Get over what?”

“Holding you. Being in bed with you.”

I hum contentedly as he strokes lazy circles on my back.

“How I smile like a lovesick asshole anytime you’re around.”