Page 29 of Knot a Bad Idea
“They had standards, and I didn’t meet them.” He squeezes my hand and circles my palm with his thumb. “I didn’t realize those standards were irrational until I lived with Hunter. For example, if I didn’t get straight As, they would lock the fridge for the week.”
I gasp. “What?”
“They tore the door from my room because I dropped a plate when I was thirteen. Just…weird little things like that. And if I had any type of reaction…it got worse.”
I blink away tears of anger. “What…how…”
“It was never physical, but more psychological. And it’s hard to prove it to anyone else when they don’t leave marks on you.” His voice is devoid of emotion, and I squeeze his hand as tightly as I can. “They gave me shelter, and I got to take showers every day. Our house was nice. I had a car I could use to get to school. So, I didn’t think it was too awful.”
“But itwasawful,” I insist.
“Yeah, it was, but I didn’t realize that until much later. Hunter’s parents told me that I always had a place to stay with them, so the times that I couldn’t get food at my house I would eat there. I did my homework there a lot and helped Hunter with his. His parents always commented on how polite I was. I think that’s why they liked me so much.” Liam scoffs as a tear rolls down my cheek.
“No, they liked you because you were a good person,” I insist, my voice cracking with both sorrow and anger for him.
“Anyway, my dad found my journal. And he sat me down, read it in front of me, and laughed while my mom watched. He ripped it up in front of me, called me a coward, and spit in my face. That’s when I knew I had to leave.”
“He…spit in your face?” I repeat numbly.
“Yeah, he did.”
We’re both silent for a long time, me crying silently and Hunter burying his nose in my hair.
“It was a long time ago, sweetheart,” he whispers finally. “I’m okay now.”
But I shake my head. “I hate them,” I sniffle.
He sighs. “Me, too.”
“What about the rest of your family? Did anyone else…” I trail off, unsure how to word what I want to ask.
“Once I moved out, I received texts from my aunts and uncles about how sad I made my parents. To everyone else it looked like I had everything I wanted, so I came off as the spoiled, ungrateful piece of shit son. So, I cut them all off. It was easier than trying to explain what had happened for all those years. Sometimes, when you don’t have physical marks, people can’t or won’t see your pain.” He runs his fingers through my hair. “I learned that a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry,” I breathe. “I’m so, so sorry, Liam.”
He sighs deeply. “Thank you, sweetheart. But what I mean to say is…I had the opportunity to choose my family. Donovan and Hunter are my brothers. They’re my family, more than my biological one ever will be.”
I nod in understanding. “That’s how I feel about my best friend Skylar. My mom basically adopted her, and I consider her my sister.”
There’s no question for me. Skylarismy family, even though we’re not related by blood.
“Chosen family is better, anyway,” Liam agrees softly. “And…I feel like you’re becoming mine.”
I let out a breath and reflect on everything he said.
If I wasn’t so messed up, if I wasn’t such a defective?—
“Don’t go there,” he whispers, as if reading my mind. “Just—don’t think of yourself like that.Please.”
But I used to be better.
I know the argument will fall on deaf ears. Liam holds me up on a pedestal, one that I don’t deserve.
But it still feels nice to be on it.
So, instead of pushing back, I lean into his embrace, and we watch the ducks quack happily on the lake.
I think I would like to a be a part of his family, too.