Page 69 of Knot a Bad Idea
He’s still as I pull the shard out, then place it next to me on the bench of the gazebo.
“Is that all of it?” I ask carefully, as he examines his palm, looking unaffected by the injury.
“It’s fine,” he says evenly, wrapping the napkin back around his hand. “Thank you.”
“You should get that checked out,” I say. “You’re probably going to need stitches.”
“It will be fine,” he repeats, and I look at him incredulously.
“Why are you like this?” I blurt, drained from my conversation with Hunter and still heartbroken from Donovan’s words.
He raises an eyebrow. “I’m sorry?”
“It’s just us out here,” I motion to the garden. “You don’t have to pretend to be jealous or compliment me.”
At that, he actuallychuckles. “You think I’m pretending,” he deadpans. “You think Ienjoyedyou talking to Connor in there?”
“Frankly, I don’t think you enjoy anything,” I say, my face flaming. “I don’t know what’s happened since my Heat, but I thought we were at leastfriendsbefore. And now…” I motion to his face. “You’re acting like an emotionless vampire. You’ve shut off from me completely, and that’sfine,but giving me ridiculously expensive clothing and filling my bank accounts when you don’t need to doesn’t make sense. No one knows you’re doing it. Sowhy, when it’s obvious you can’t stand to be around me?”
He's silent for a moment, studying me. “I do those things because I want to,” he says softly. “I…like doing those things for you.”
I swallow, tears springing to my eyes. “You told me I wasn’t good for the pack,” I say finally. “That I wasn’t good foryou.”
I hiss the last words.
He flinches slightly and looks away from me.
“I misspoke,” he says.
I swallow. “You…misspoke,” I repeat. “Youmisspoke?”
He nods, and I’m furious at myself for how relieved I feel at his words.
I don’t want him to have this much power over me, not after he’s hurt me so deeply.
I stand and look down at him. “Is that your way of apologizing, Donovan?” I hiss. “You can’t even say you’resorry?”
He stands as well, towering above me, fury in his eyes. I try to take a step back, but he grips me by my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. “Do you want to know what I’m sorry for?” he growls, and I freeze in shock as he continues. “I’m sorry that you heard what I told Steven. I’m sorry that he was even in your presence, and he was able to fuckinglookat you.”
My head spins, and he backs me against the wall of the gazebo, my back digging into the wood and surely ruining the precious ten thousand dollar dress. “I’m sorry that you’re the only fucking thing on my mind, and that I can’t even sleep when you’re not around. I’m sorry thatIwasn’t the one that saved you from that hellhole.”
I blink in shock. I recall Vincent’s words from the other day about the death of my captor.
“The three inmates that jumped him suddenly had money put on their books. The most an account can hold at one time.”
I swallow. “What are you talking about?—”
“I’m sorry I let you down before I even met you,” he spits. “That’s what I do, April, and I’m fucking sorry.”
My eyes widen. “Isthatwhat this is about? My past?” I shove at his chest, but he’s immovable. “You have some weird savior complex because you didn’t even know me at the time? What the fuck, Donovan?”
“I cannot be what you need. Ever. And I’m sorry for that.” He continues, looking down at me. “But that doesn’t change my feelings for you.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “What do you mean, that’s what youdo?” I shove at him again, and this time, he steps back. “What are you talking about?”
His lips thin, and his scent darkens. “I can’t save you, April. I can’t save anyone.”
I scoff. “I don’tneedsaving. I save myself. It’s not your job to save me.”