Page 74 of Knot a Bad Idea

“I’m not trying to,” he snaps. “You think I want to hurt her? I want toprotecther.”

“Protecting her,” I say quietly, “means keeping her safe withus.Weare the best choice for her.”

It’s not the best time to have this conversation, but Hunter’s not here, and I basically have Donovan cornered.

My pack leader doesn’t care, giving me the same emotionally constipated look he loves to give me. “Move,” he snarls. He takes a step closer to me, but I don’t budge.

He’s taller than me by a few inches, and stronger, too. But I doubt he would want to make a scene here.

So, I put all my cards out on the table.

“She’s our mate, Donovan. You know she is.”

He shakes his head. “She’s not.” His voice is soft, and I catch a flicker ofsomethingin his expression.

“Sheis. I see the way you look at her when she’s not paying attention to you. Everything youdois for her. She’s yourmatch, and you know it.”

He clicks his tongue and lets out a bitter laugh, one that makes my stomach sink. “You so desperately want a family, Liam. Don’t just grasp at the first girl that gives us attention.”

The barb stings, but I know that he’s just trying to end the conversation.

I won’t let him.

“I love her.” I swallow, keeping eye contact with my best friend. “I’m in love with her, Donovan.”

Looking weary at my admission, he closes his eyes and exhales slowly.

“I’m sorry, Liam.” When he opens his eyes again, I see how exhausted my pack leader truly is.

He looks like guilt has been eating him alive.

Part of me is glad. He keeps hurting April for reasons he won’t convey.

But I also feel sorry for him, that he’s unable to accept his own emotions.

Because if I know Donovan at all…he loves her, too.

It’s obvious Hunter does, as well. But Hunter’s never been shy about his feelings, and I could tell he was smitten with April the first time they met.

Hunter knows how to love loudly and proudly, and I hope to be like that one day.

But looking at Donovan, with the darkness under his eyes and his lifeless expression, I feel nothing but sorrow for him.

“You can’t keep beating yourself up about her,” I say quietly.

His face contorts. “Who?” he asks carefully.

I’m treading on thin ice, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to have this conversation with him again anytime soon.

“You know who. You did everything you could. You paid for the best chemotherapy treatments and doctors.”

Donovan growls and shoves at me. I stay put, a matching growl building in my chest.

“And what the fuck does that have to do with anything?” he spits.

“I’m not sure. Why don’t you tell me?”

Donovan grows still, and I know I’m right.