Page 94 of Knot a Bad Idea

“Donovan locked me in my room at the packhouse.” I don’t look at her as I say it. I stare in my mug of tea, weary of her response.

“Oh my god, that’s horrible,” she murmurs. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. Especially with your panic attacks around doors…oh, that’s awful.”

I pause and turn to her. “Wait. You know about my panic attacks?”

She raises an eyebrow. “I’m your mother. Of course I do.”

I tilt my head curiously. “But I’ve never talked to you about them,” I say slowly.

“You think I don’t notice that you never lock doors or shut them all the way in the house? I’ve watched you double check doorknobs at least a hundred times since you came back,” my mother says gently. “Even the sound of a lock makes you jump, April. And for him to do that to you…” she shakes her head. “Does Donovan even know the damage that’s done to you?”

I frown. “I don’t think so. Only Hunter and Liam knew about the attacks.”

“Good riddance to him,” my mother mutters. “To all of them, really, for not understanding you.”

My chest aches. “That’s the thing though,” I murmur. “I thought theydidunderstand me. I was able to be myself around them, even Donovan. And we had more in common than I thought. It’s just so frustrating.” Tears spring to my eyes, but I refuse to cry over them again.

There’s no going back from what Donovan has done. He’s Liam’s and Hunter’s pack leader, and that’s never going to change.

“For what it’s worth,” my mother adds. “It was nice to see you happy. I hope I get to see more of it sooner rather than later.”

“Me too,” I mutter.

But I have a feeling I won’t be happy for a very long time.

18

APRIL

Kelly’s weddingis in two days, and I try not to think about it.

Instead, I work at the café, pouring lattes and serving cookies to customers who always seem to have something to say to me.

“I’m so happy they found you,” a middle-aged Beta woman says to me. “I was praying for you.”

I hide my grimace and instead plaster a fake smile on my face. “Thank you,” I say. “That’s so kind of you.”

After the rush dies down, Devyn makes a face at me. “Doesn’t that get tiring?” she asks me. “Everyone always asking if you’re okay all the time?”

“Devyn, it’s been tiring since the first day I came back to work,” I sigh. “I stopped counting after the thousandth time someone asked.”

She slurps her iced coffee loudly. “I would lose my mind if that kept happening to me.”

I look at her incredulously. “I’ve been losing my mind formonths.”

She slurps her coffee louder, the straw making obnoxious sounds, and I want to smack it out of her hand. “That sucks! You should have said something!”

Before I can lose it on the younger Omega, Skylar comes out from the stockroom, our café’s landline phone in hand. “It’s for you, April.” There’s a weird look on her face as she hands it to me.

My heart beats wildly in my chest. Part of me hopes it’sthem, but the other part doesn’t.

I need a clean break from the pack, which is why I changed my number.

Keep calm, April.

Baby steps.

“This is April,” I say.