Page 9 of The Perfect Secret
“Hannah!” Her grandmother put her hand on Hannah’s knee, and Hannah reminded herself to be good.
Jeff stiffened a moment before he assumed a more relaxed pose. “No, it’s okay, Grandma. Hannah, this is a new one. A friend and I sublet it from a guy he knows.”
“A friend?”
He nodded. “Yeah, you don’t know him, but he owns the restaurant I work at.”
“So you have a job now.”
“Mike’s, a coffee shop in Hell’s Kitchen. Waiter, busboy, you know.”
She knew all right. Like all his other jobs, it would be short-lived, and result in him showing up asking for money. Or stealing it from someone’s wallet, as he’d done so many times from her and from her friends.
“He’s turning his life around,Hannahla. You should be happy for him.”
Happy for him. Her brother, the screw-up. Her brother, the drug addict. He was always turning his life around in order tofollow the drugs and the easy money. You could find him at the coked-up parties with shady friends and shadier dealings.
She narrowed her gaze. His eyes were clear and his hands didn’t shake, but that meant nothing. He was a master manipulator and an expert at hiding his addiction. She couldn’t see track marks on his arms, but he’d shot up other body parts before. Her grandmother might be fooled, and from her expression, she was annoyed Hannah didn’t welcome him with open arms, but depending on him was futile. As a child, she could always depend on him to tease her, defend her, and cheer when she was sad. But sometime during his teenage years he’d changed, and now the one thing she could depend on was his need for money and the next fix. Thus, shoving her purse into the back of the coat closet.
“What do you want, Jeff?” Hannah said.
“Nothing.”
“Sure.” She tapped her foot.
“I mean it, Hannah. I just stopped by to visit.”
“On your way where?”
“Work.”
She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.
“I swear, Hannah. I’ve changed.”
“Great.”
“You don’t believe me.”
Hannah smoothed her hand over the green chenille fabric of the sofa. Its softness soothed her, but she couldn’t be soft. She shrugged and heard her grandmother gasp.
“Hannah!”
“Relax, Grandma, it’s okay,” Jeff said. “She’s got a right to be skeptical. But I swear, Hannah, I’m not the same person I was. I’m in a program.”
“I’m thrilled you have a job and it’s great you think this program will be different. But you’ll be clean until the next hit orthe next time something goes wrong. And every time you come here and swear things are different, you fool yourself and hurtBubbe.”And me. All the times he hadn’t shown up when he’d promised came to the fore and she shook her head.
She rose and pinned her grandmother with a firm stare. “I’m going out. Make sure he’s gone when I return.” She switched her gaze to her brother. “And don’t you dare ask for money.” She’d started to replenish her savings account; she wouldn’t let him drain it again. Jeff might not have any interest in paying back their grandmother for everything she’d done for them, but Hannah did.
Hannah strode to the closet, grabbed her purse and keys, and left the apartment. Tears she refused to shed clouded her vision and she paid little attention to where she went. Ten minutes later, she stopped at a bench. Her feet hurt. Slipping one foot out of its navy pump, she massaged it as pedestrians filed past.
People watching gave her an escape from her thoughts. A group of tourists pointed to the skyline, snapped pictures of the skyscrapers across the Hudson. Commuters poured out of the train station on their way home. Families walked through the park, kids raced ahead and parents followed at a slower pace. Young professionals headed toward the bars.
A street vendor walked by pushing a cart of roasted nuts. She wasn’t hungry, but she wouldn’t return home until she was positive her brother was gone. Across the street was a sushi place. As she was about to enter, her phone rang.
“Hannah, it’s Dan.”
Her throat clogged. “Hi. I didn’t expect you to call so soon.”