Page 51 of Adam & Eve
her favorite response when it came to me.
“I’ve resigned myself to just accept this. What else could do? “
Her declaration made me frown. I wanted her to want to be there with me. She reached out to
cup my face. She brushed her thumb against my jawline. Her hands were soft and felt good against my
skin.
“You need to shave,” she said.
The simple show of affection caused my heart to beat rapidly. It didn’t erase the fact that
she’d just told me she’d just given up and let me have my way. Her rejection hurt more than her anger
did.
As if sensing my mood change, she said, “Don’t be like that.” She smoothed her hand down
my cheek, trying to make me feel better. “It’s not exactly a bad thing, me accepting something I have
no control over. At least I am no longer fighting you. That’s a plus.”
No, it’s wasn’t a fucking plus, but for the sake of not turning our conversation into an argument
I said nothing as she continued.
“I decided to consider this a vacation.” She licked her lips before continuing. “Honestly, I
was kind of tired of it all.” I noted sadness in her eyes and voice before she withdrew her hand and
turned onto her back.
“I know,” I said.
“I figured you would.” She exhaled and closed her eyes.
Finally, she was coming to accept the fact that I knew things about her. I knew she was tired
of school, tired of trying to make everything work in her favor without any help. I didn’t have to
imagine it was hard for her because I could see it in her eyes. She had looked drained in the last eight
to ten months.
She needed someone. I wanted to intervene so many times. It would have been easy to hand
her a check or even a suitcase full of money. Her school debt I could have paid a hundred times over
without thought. I’d never go broke. But I knew she wouldn’t accept it. I wouldn’t have wanted her to
accept my help either. Handouts and charity weren’t part of who she was. It would have changed her.
“You know sometimes I think about killing myself? Like my momma,” she said out of the blue.
“Even went as far as swallowing a bottle of pills, but I got scared and threw them up. I’m not even
brave enough to end it all.” She laughed bitterly.