Page 40 of Session 33
Cassius hated the beach, but I had convinced him to come sit with me. There was something about the smell of saltwater and the way the waves crashed against the shore that soothed me. We were in the back of the Airbnb I’d rented just to spend a few days away, not thinking about anything—just resting. I felt exhausted. He looked exhausted.
We lay side by side on the king-size blanket I’d pulled from the bed. The sun had set, and the smell of rain was in the air. We were covered with a sheet. October in Florida was kind of chilly, especially by the water. Our fingers intertwined as we rested. Cassius had his eyes closed, peace relaxing his face. I turned my head to watch him. I knew he was stressing just as much as me, but he just hadn’t said it.
“You know,” he began, as if feeling me watching him had prompted him to speak, “my mother used to love shit like this. We used to spend entire days on the beach, playing in the sun. She would buy Publix subs, and we’d drink soda behind my daddy’s back. I miss her laugh. She did that a lot, you know? She was loud and boisterous.”
I squeezed his hand gently, wanting him to continue and letting him know I was listening, scared that speaking would stop him from sharing more. He kept his eyes closed, lost in his memories, I guess.
“She was always so full of life. People used to call her ghetto or trailer trash, and I’d fight them for it. She wasn’t either—just... real. No pretense, no bullshit. But sweet. She would do shit to make me smile. She said I was too gloomy to be so young. I used to hate it when people looked down on her. She was everything to me.”
He finally turned his gaze to me, a small, bittersweet smile on his face. I smiled back, feeling honored that he was sharing this part of his past with me. “Thank you for telling me about her. I know it’s hard to speak about her and your father.”
He nodded. “It is. But I’m going to talk about them more. I want our baby to know about them, to know about their grandparents. The good parts, at least/”
He took a deep breath, the tension floating away with it. “I promise, I’ll tell you everything. The good, the bad, all of it.”
We lay there in comfortable silence, the sound of the waves crashing around us. It was too quiet. I sat up suddenly. “We should go skinny-dipping.”
“Are you crazy?” he responded, but he was smirking.
I grinned and stood up, pulling off my dress, then my bra and panties, leaving him there as I waded into the ocean. The water was cool against my skin.
Cassius watched me for a moment. Then, laughing, he stood up and stripped off his clothes, one piece at a time, before sprinting into the waves after me.
The water made him gasp. We splashed each other. He caught me around the waist and pulled me close, his body warm against the chill of the water.
Our laughter subsided into a quiet moment. Cassius’s eyes were intense as he looked at me, a mix of emotions playing across hisface. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me, slow and deep. I felt it in my toes. Then he pulled away. “Race me.”
We played around for a while.
When the cold started to creep in, we made our way back to the shore, shivering. We grabbed the towels from the blanket and wrapped them around ourselves, trying to capture some warmth.
We took our place, lying back down, trying to catch our breath. Suddenly, Cassius rolled over on top of me, his eyes locking with mine. His breath was warm against my face. “I can see us being forever,” he whispered.
Before I could respond, he gently pushed my legs apart and slid his hard dick into the back of my pussy. An achy moan slipped from between my lips, and the world around us faded away. For a moment, all that existed was the two of us. As I looked into his eyes, I could see forever too.
Until a few days later when I was about to get my first real exam. My heart was breakdancing in my chest. I was freaking out inside but had a smile on my face. The waiting room was filled with other expectant mothers, some smiling and chatting, others flipping through magazines. Cassius sat beside me, tapping his foot nervously against the tiled floor. I wished he would stop. It was irking me, but I didn’t say anything.
When the nurse called my name, we both stood up, Cassius's grip tightening on my hand, as if he was afraid I’d run away. We followed her into a small, dimly lit examination room. I lay down on the examination table, the paper crinkling beneath me. The nurse instructed me to lift my shirt and applied some cold gel to my stomach.
Cassius hovered beside me.The doctor entered, a warm smile on her face. Dr. America was Black and beautiful and educated. I didn't want anyone else delivering my baby."Ready to see your baby?" she asked, and I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest.
The doctor pressed the ultrasound wand to my stomach, and the screen flickered to life. For a moment, there was nothing but static, and then we saw it—a tiny, flickering heartbeat. The sound filled the room. Cassius’s eyes widened, and his mouth fell open slightly.
"That’s your baby," the doctor said softly, pointing to the small, pulsing dot on the screen.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at the image. I felt a rush of emotions—joy, fear, and a profound sense of responsibility. Cassius reached out, his fingers trembling, and touched the screen.
"Three months along," the doctor announced. "Everything looks good."
"Three months," he said. Then he added, “That gives me six months to be better.” His voice was barely a whisper, and I don’t think he meant to say it out loud at all. It was endearing.
After the appointment, Cassius insisted on taking me to lunch. We sat inside a Black-owned restaurant in downtown St. Pete. It was the type with Black culture all over the walls and the smell of soul food in the air. Cassius was all smiles and excitement, talking about baby names and nursery colors. He was practically vibrating with energy.
"Can you believe it? We’re having a baby!" His grin stretched from ear to ear. He reached across the table, taking my hand in his.
But I couldn’t shake the cloud hanging over me. I knew I was being wishy-washy, so I was trying not to show it. I nodded and forced smiles, but my responses sounded flat to my own ears.
Halfway through lunch, Cassius put down his fork and looked at me. He was irked. I could see it in his eyes. "Why aren’t you happy, Angel? We just heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. You’ve been either horny,sad or mad since we came back from the beach! What the fuck do I need to do to make you happy?"