Page 59 of Session 33
Angel sighed, the sound heavy with memories I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear. “It wasn’t just one thing, Cassius. It was the way you’d get so angry, like a switch flipped inside you. You were a whole different person when you got mad. I knew you didn’t want to hurt me, but it felt like you wanted to physically fight.”
I clenched my jaw. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. A tear actually fell from my eyes. I had fucked up. “I never wanted to be my daddy. I never wanted to be him.”
“I know,” she said, her voice so soft I almost didn’t catch it.
“I really am sorry. I didn’t know how to love you without squeezing the life out of us both. I was afraid—never had someone like you before, and it fucked with my head. My jealousy, my anger... that was just me, scared shitless you’d slip through my fingers. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Angel. I just didn’t know any better.”
She didn’t say anything, and I hadn’t expected her to. I moved on, but I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could speak again. “The doctor... my psychiatrist... he thinks it might help if you came to a session with me. Just one, to talk things out. I know I’ve got a lot to work on, our son, him, but maybe...”
I heard her take a breath, and I waited, holding my breath. “Okay, Cassius,” she finally said. “I’ll go with you.”
Relief washed over me, but it was short-lived. Just as I was about to thank her, I heard him in the background—Solomon’s voice. Old ass bitch. His ass ran my blood cold. He was a fucking trigger, one I couldn’t control. I was going to fuck around and pay somebody to off his ass.
“Thanks, Angel,” I said quickly. I could hear my tone was colder than before. The last thing I wanted was to hear his voice in the background while I was trying to fix my life.
“Cassius—”
“I’ll text you the details,” I cut her off, ending the call before I could let my temper get the best of me. Before I said something I’d regret. I tossed the phone onto the passenger seat, feeling like the air had been sucked out of the car. My mind was racing. AllI could think about now was Solomon being there with Angel, in the space where I used to be with my son.
It took me about five minutes to calm down, then I realized I had actually improved myself. Old me would have knocked on Angel’s front door and dragged Solomon’s old ass out of the house.
Chapter- forty nine
The room was quiet—the kind of quiet that felt intentional, like the world outside knew to mind its business. The soft glow from the bedside lamp gave everything a warm, lazy feel, and the sheets were a tangled mess around us. Solomon was stretched out beside me, one arm tucked behind his head like he didn’t have a care in the world.
His thumb dragged across my knuckles, soft and slow, and every single pass made me feel a little more unsteady and turned on. I glanced over at him, and of course, he was already looking at me, like he’d been waiting for me to notice.
“Why are you staring at me?” I asked, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably.
“Because I can,” he said, his lips curving into a lazy-ass smirk.
Everything about this moment felt... easy. But that was the thing about Solomon—he made everything feel easy, even when I wasn’t sure if it should. Yeah, that was dangerous. Because if I wasn’t careful, I’d start believing in easy.
Suddenly, the smirk fell, and he cocked his head. “Why are you helping Cassius after what he’s done to you?”
The question caught me off guard. I paused, trying to find the right words to explain why.
"That's my child’s father," I started, my voice low, trying not to sound annoyed and mindful of his feelings. "No matter what happened between us, no matter how much he hurt me, I can’t just cut him out of my life completely. Ekon needs his dad, a healthy dad. And if I can help make that happen, then I have to try."
Solomon was silent for a moment, his eyes searching mine. I could see the questions he was holding back. Finally, he asked the one that had been hanging in the air between us. "Do you still love him?"
I didn’t hesitate. "No," I said, shaking my head. "I don’t love him—not like that. Whatever we had is gone. It’s just... dead."
He nodded, but I could see the wheels still turning in his head. His gaze softened, but there was something else there—something I couldn’t quite place. "How can you be so sure?" he asked quietly, almost like he was afraid of the answer.
"Because when I’m with you, I feel alive," I replied, my voice steady. "With you, it’s different. It’s real. Cassius... he taught me what I want and what I don’t want. It makes it easy to know I want you. You’re my present."
He let out a slow breath, nodding as if my words were settling something deep inside him. Then, he glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "It’s almost eight," he said, his tone shifting. "I have to do something real quick. I’ll be back in the morning."
I blinked hard, thrown by the sudden shift—the way he pulled away like he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. “Okay,” I said, trying to keep my voice neutral, even though my stomach was tying itself into knots and my nerves were fraying. Had I said something wrong? I watched him get dressed, too scared to ask.
He kissed me, quick and soft, then left me alone in the dark, wondering if I’d pushed him away without even realizing it.
The next morning, I dropped Ekon off at Cassius’s and came back to find Solomon waiting for me at my front door. He looked as calm and collected as ever, in a suit on a Saturday—his day off—with an intensity in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before.
I smiled at him, relieved that he was here and not angry like I had thought. "Come on in," I said, opening the door wider to let him in.
I turned to close the door, and when I spun back around, my breath caught in my throat. Solomon was on his knees in the middle of my living room.