Page 3 of Lightning Angel

And I’m loved by you, it’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am…”

What was she doing, singingGood, Good Fatherwhen God hadn’t been a good Father to her since her dad tested positive for blood cancer nine months ago? Not only had He allowed that to happen, but He also refused to hear her endless pleas to save him from his deathbed three months ago.

No, God hadn’t been a good Father to her. He had, in fact, stopped caring for her. He had abandoned her. She was so good for nothing that even God didn’t want her.

But, if she was so sure about it, thenwhy was there a nagging in the back of her brain saying she was wrong?

Though, what other explanation was there for God’s silence to her prayers?

Sure, she still believed God existed. He simply had stopped caring for her. So, why should she keep singing songs like this and lead worship in church?

Because she had the voice of an angel. That’s what everyone who ever listened to her sing had said. Why she was the worship band’s lead vocalist.

Alexa loved her position and the praises she received from her church members, and she simply couldn’t step down because of her faith issues. She had kept up herperfect Christian girlpretense in the last three months, and she could do so in the future too. No one would find out.

No one but her sister, that was.

But Cassie understood. They were in the same boat, after all.

If theperfect Christian girlmask slipped, there would be at least ten people ready to lecture them. So pretending was the best and safest option. Alexa was positive no one could see through her pretense. Who could, when she made the best display of being a worship leader with a burning passion? Everyone judged by their eyes, but no one could see her heart.

No one but God, of course. But He had stopped caring long ago.

Alexa’s eyes searched the worshiping crowd for her sister. Cassie met her eyes and gave her a small smile, her lips barely moving as she sang along with the crowd. On Cassie’s left was her boyfriend of two years, Brandon, singing with closed eyes.

Alexa’s gaze traveled to Cassie’s right by habit; a habit she hadn’t been able to outgrow in the last three months. And seeing someone else in the place where her dad always occupied stung as freshly as it did on the first day. Would she ever get used to his absence?

When the service finally ended, Alexa was relieved. She went backstage with the other members of the worship team and grabbed her backpack, intending to slip out as soon as possible. She was no longer interested in hanging around her church friends. Besides, she was starving. She couldn’t wait to get to her favorite Italian diner.

Just as she was about to slip out, a familiar voice stopped her from behind.

“Lex, wait.”

Alexa turned with a pasted-on smile for her sister’s childhood best friend and her brother-figure. He was also the pastor’s nephew and the drummer in their band, an easygoing person with dark blonde hair and forest green eyes.

“Yes, Jonny?”

John winced slightly, but didn’t say anything. He despised the nickname. She and Cassie were the only ones he had allowed to keep calling him that, yet he winced every time they addressed him.

Alexa fought a smirk at his facial expression and didn’t make a comment either. This was usual, after all.

John composed himself, just before his eyebrows furrowed. Concern filled his eyes. “Are you alright?”

If this was someone else in his place—except Cassie—Alexa would’ve lashed out and saidyes. But this was John, her older brother-figure ever since she couldremember. He knew heralmostas well as Cassie did, able to tell when she was upset and trying to mask it—most times. There was no hiding from him.

Alexa’s shoulders slumped in defeat, and she dropped her voice. “Do I have to answer that?”

John heaved a sigh and hugged her to his side. “No.” He gave her shoulder an assuring squeeze and walked them outside. If they were alone, he would have given her one of his bear hugs, but he was avoiding making a scene—for her sake. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

His soft way of asking nearly made her want to spill the beans. But she didn’t. No matter what, he couldn’t discover her faith issues. He was one of the people she dreaded finding out, and would be the first to lecture her and her sister about it.

They didn’t need lecturing.

“No, it’s fine, Jonny. But thank you.”

John heaved another sigh and pressed her to his side. “I’m always here if you need me. You know that, right?”

Alexa looked aside at him and her heart swelled. She loved him so much; he always looked out for her. “Of course.” She forced a small smile.