Page 32 of Lightning Angel
If you live, you’ll ruin your sister’s life. If you live, you’ll live to see her hatred of you, her comparison of you, her envy, her jealousy. As long as you live, it will be the constant reminder that she’ll never be good enough, that everyone else will prefer you to her too. But if you’re no longer in her life, she will miss you, respect you abundantly, keep loving you despite what your existence in her life has caused her. You love her, and your sacrifice will save her and Brandon’s future victims.
Alexa’s breaths grew ragged as she stared into space, and the words sank into her. They filled her head,reached every corner of her mind. Though somewhere in her heart she knew she shouldn’t do this, it felt like a distant, forgotten hum as the cold words filled all of her, giving her a sense of peace.
The thought of death felt peaceful.
Maybe that’s what she must do, especially when it would do a lot of good. She couldn’t allow Cassie to loathe herself. Alexa would rather die than let her sister feel it because of her.
A sudden determination took over her.
Alexa shot up to her feet and wiped away the tears she hadn’t realized fallen. She grabbed her journal and pen, and began scribbling letters for Cassie, Daphne, and John.
It was hard, so hard, to say goodbye to the three people she held close to her heart. They’d hate her for this, but they would understand eventually.
It took her an hour to write only three letters, expressing her love and gratitude to each person, especially Cassie, to whom she had to disclose additional details like Brandon’s threat, instruct her to move on with her life, stop friend-zoning John and give him a chance at romance, tell her future nieces and nephews how their auntie Lex loved them even before they existed, to name one of her daughters after Alexa, to bury her body next to their dad’s, where to find her body, to never stop writing, to write a book about Lightning Knight as a handsome young man who defends a girl he secretly admires and dedicate the book to Alexa, to never forget how much she loved Cassie…
Alexa was sobbing by the end. She didn’t want to do this, but she had to. The thought of leaving Cassie literally killed her soul.
She closed the book, kept the pen between the pages, and placed it back in its place. Cassie knew where she kept her journal. When they learned about her death, Cassie would hunt for it. She hoped.
Alexa had a destination in mind, and she would mark the place where they could find her body. She took one of her ribbons, a red one, and chose the black and white feather earrings Cassie had gifted her a few years ago. She hitched each of them to each end of the ribbon and clutched it in her hand. Then she looked at herself in the mirror.
The girl who stared back was a broken teenager; lifeless, hopeless, abandoned, lost…
The kindest thing you could do, the gift you could giveher, is this. Death is peace, and everything ends with it. Living this life is an eternal torment; you’re freeing yourself by doing this.
Alexa didn’t waste another second. She grabbed the car keys and stepped out of her room. She stopped at the top of the stairwell, glancing at the frame on the wall to her right. Her eyes watered as she walked near it, a picture of her and Cassie with their dad from five years ago.
They looked so happy.
She lifted her fingers to her dad’s face. The tears spilled. The ache returned tenfold.
“I know you wanted me to live a happy life, Daddy,” she whispered. “But that’s the point. My life is anything but happy, and it has reached the edge of its misery. I’m so sorry, but I have to do this for Cassie; I’m doing both of us a favor. If I live, it will destroy our lives, but if I die, at least she gets to live.”
Alexa dropped her hand, wiped away her tears, anddescended the stairs. Once reaching down, she looked around at the photos hanging on the walls around her before walking out of the house.
Tears poured down her eyes like a stream as she drove to her destination. Her hands gripped the wheel tight, and the red ribbon with her feather earrings was threaded through her fingers. Halfway through the drive, she dialed Cassie.
She wanted to hear her sister’s voice one last time, and put it on record so Cassie could listen to their last conversation one day too.
“Hey, sweetheart!” Cassie’s enthusiastic voice rang through the speaker.
A painful smile pulled at her lips and the next stream of tears flooded out of her eyes. “Hey, sis.”
Cassie’s enthusiasm dropped. “Lex, are you alright?”
She had to play this right. “Yes, of course! Why should I not be alright?”
“I thought I heard you sniff. Are you sure?”
Alexa forced a laugh. “Oh, it’s just a stupid cold. I’m alright, except I miss my big sister.”
“Aw, me too.” Alexa imagined Cassie’s face softening with a melted expression. “I wish you were here. Orlando is amazing. I’m gonna bring us here one day. Oh! And, I’ve got something for you; spoiler alert, it’s a surprise.”
Alexa snorted a laugh and shook her head. “You do know how to surprise others.”
“That I do, don’t tease me, little girl.” She imagined her sister’s eyes narrow playfully. “I didn’t tell youwhatmy surprise is.”
“Sure,” Alexa said sarcastically. “Because, even if you didn’t tell me this, I know my sister; you would bring meat least a candy.”