Page 9 of Echoes From Within
I want to die. I want to be free from this miserable existence.
“Is she ready?”
“Give me just a few moments to run my scans and I’ll be able to tell you.”
“Just do your fucking job.”
Moments later a door slams and I’m left alone with the doctor.
“Now that he’s gone, I’ll loosen your straps a bit,” the doctor tells me.
I don’t respond. I don’t even acknowledge that he spoke. I used to think the doctor was the only good person in this hell but he’s just as bad, if not worse, than the rest of them.
“I need to do an internal examination to see if you’ve healed,” he says as he loosens my arms and legs. “Then we’ll do an ultrasound to check and make sure your insides are all healed. Once that’s finished, we’ll draw some blood to check your hormone levels. Hopefully, your body is back to working order. Seeing as you’re already ovulating again, I think the results will be positive.”
His voice is sad as he spouts off his plans. He hates what he does but is forced into doing it to keep his family safe. Deep down I know that he’s not an evil person, but on the surface, he’s a monster. Each night, the doctor leaves this place and goes back home to his family. Every day he has an opportunity to try and tell someone what’s happening to us.
But he never does.
I spent months begging him to tell someone. Leave a note written on the gas station’s bathroom wall. Hell, go to the confessional and tell a priest to tell someone.
He would shake his head as tears fell from his eyes.
I wanted to hate him but I could never bring myself to do it. He was as much of a prisoner as I was. Only in different ways. He didn’t deserve my hate.
Until recently.
I was raped for weeks until I got pregnant all because the doctor said I was in perfect breeding health.
Even then, I didn’t hate him.
I tried to kill myself before the baby was born to spare us both from this life. The doctor told the men in charge that I had prenatal depression and they had me tied to a bed for the remainder of the pregnancy. For eight months.
Still, I didn’t hate him.
Then, my water broke and I went into labor. Regardless of how that baby was conceived, it was still mine. I grew it inside of me and loved it with everything I had.
With that final push, my baby was born into this world of torment only to be taken away from me before I even had the chance to lay eyes on it. I only heard its cry as they were rushing it from the room. I don’t even know if I had a boy or a girl.
When I watched the doctor pull my baby from my womb and willingly hand it off to someone else; that’s when it happened. Hate beyond anything I’ve ever felt coursed through my veins.
I thought I hated the man who raped me. I thought I hated the man who had me kidnapped and imprisoned. But knowing the doctor has had every opportunity to save us but still chose to pull my baby from my body and hand it off opened a door that I didn’t even know I had.
“Just a few more minutes, Seven.”
That’s my name. My designation. I’m number seven out of the ten women currently being held prisoner inside of this damn building. The doctor asked for my name one time, but my name is the only thing of mine they can’t mock or take away.
“All done. Do you want me to wait a few minutes before I call them back in?”
I want to yell;you mean before you have them take me back to my cell?But I won’t give him the satisfaction of my communication.
I just stare up at the ceiling knowing that my cell is the exact place I’m heading back to.
“You haven’t said a word to me in almost four months, Seven,” he says, his voice laced with defeat. “You know that I had no choice. If I hadn’t handed that baby over then both of us, and my family, would have been killed.”
Nothing. Not a single ounce of sympathy sparks in my heart for this monster.
“I’m always being watched,” he continues in a desperate whisper. “My house is bugged and I’m always being followed. They would know if I told a single soul what happens in this place. Please, believe me, Seven. Please know that I would save you all if I could.”