Page 50 of Toxic Devotion

Neil

He had a toddler’s fingers in his mouth and no way of removing them because he was holding the owner of said fingers. Ty’s kid was giggling as he tried to stick a finger into Neil’s nose. He tilted his head back, trying to keep clear of more wayward fingers.

“Please take your kid back,” he said.

Ty just laughed, which made Benny try harder to stick his fingers in holes they didn’t belong. Gia slapped the back of her husband’s head and took Benny from Neil who breathed a sigh of relief once he was free from the toddler and his invasive fingers.

He flipped Ty off, dropping his hand and smiling awkwardly when he noticed Benny watching him. Unfortunate timing but, hey, the kid would learn eventually anyway and if it was something that would annoy Ty, he was all for teaching Benny how to do it.

“Let me know if you two need anything,” Gia said before heading into the kitchen with Benny on her hip.

“Yeah. Thanks, honey.”

Ty motioned toward the couch and Neil walked over to sit down, a groan escaping him as he leaned back against the soft cushions.

Ty slapped Neil’s shoulder and said, “So how does it feel?”

As much as he wanted to lie and say that it felt good, he knew Ty would see right through him. He was too fucking exhausted to keep up his usual façade.

“Like I need to sleep for the next decade just to make up for the stress,” he muttered.

“I mean, considering how messy it’s been, I get that,” Ty said, a sparkle in his eyes that made Neil want to flip him off again.

Messy didn’t even cover it. Not in the least.

Stanton had found Colt but instead of bringing him in, he’d helped him dismantle Hughes’ terrorist cell. They’d gotten themselves into so much trouble that Neil had personally gone to the Raiders and told them that Stanton needed their help. It had gotten the Raiders back together and, unfortunately, he’d lost Colt to them. At least for a little while.

Hughes had been building dirty bombs, one of which had made a shopping mall fall on top of the man thanks to the Raiders. There were still more bombs out there, but Colt was on it. He had full confidence in his operative. He’d already found one and was closing in on another. The world would soon be completely free and safe from Richard Hughes, and he knew he should be celebrating.

The only problem with that was that the one person he wanted to celebrate with would rather shoot him. When he’d last seen Marco three months ago, the man had been at his worst. He hadn’t been alone in that, either. He knew they needed each other but Marco wouldn’t have it. He’d made it perfectly clear that all they would ever have was physical. He knew Marco hadn’t been with anyone else and even the thought of being with someone other than Marco made him physically ill. Marco had his whole heart and he’d eagerly taken whatever scraps Marco would give him the past three years. That first year apart had nearly killed him. He couldn’t go back to that.

“You’re thinking of him again.”

Neil squeezed his eyes closed for a painful second before turning his head to look at Ty. The man was watching him with a gentle smile on his lips.

“I wish I didn’t see so much pain and sorrow on your face when you think of him,” Ty said in a quiet voice. “I wish you still had that look of hope and love like you did back then.”

“So do I,” Neil muttered, unable to meet Ty’s gaze.

“Life hasn’t been kind to you, my friend,” Ty said, squeezing Neil’s shoulder.

No. No, it hadn’t.

The only thing life had ever given him was Marco and it had ripped him away just as fast. He knew, without a doubt, that if Marco ever gave him a chance to love him again, he would do whatever was necessary to keep that love. He wouldn’t let anything get between them ever again.

Ty handed him a beer and turned the TV on. They watched whatever game was on, but Neil was too distracted to truly follow along. He had more things he needed to do, he’d just wanted to give Ty the news himself. Ty had moved into an administrative role a few years ago but he’d still been there for Neil in this whole Hughes mess. Whenever he’d needed Ty, the man had been there. He wasn’t sure he could ever repay Ty for his friendship and loyalty, but he was sure going to try.

Considering he wasn’t exactly good company, he only stayed for the game and then he stood with a groan and grabbed his phone off the coffee table.

“Where are you off to?” Ty asked, curiosity in his gaze though there was also caution in his voice.

A small smile lifted his lips. “To find Stanton and offer him a new purpose.”

Ty grinned at him. “Good luck not getting shot.”

Yeah, he was probably going to need that luck knowing Stanton, but he owed the man this. Now, he just had to find him again.

Chapter Twenty-One