Page 84 of Shattered Hearts
A sex marathon, Finn? Really?
My newlywed impression is coming along great.
Hours upon hours—a whole day—of sex with a woman who’s not my betrothed?I’ve gone fucking insane.
Just yesterday, we agreed to have each other’s backs while we’re stuck in this mess. And then I went and broke our pact mere hours later. All I did by giving into my growing attraction to Riley is make our entire situation more complicated. I put her in a more vulnerable position. Several of them. One after the other, until she drained my cock dry.
Like an anchor, I sink to the bottom of a sea of guilt. What the fuck is wrong with me?I’ve jeopardized our cause in every way.
You’re still marrying her.
Riley’s words from yesterday. As awful and impossible as my reality still feels, nothing’s changed. I’m still a dutiful enforcer—a dutiful heir to the head of the Gallagher Mafia—who will marry anyone my father tells me to marry.
I agreed to wed Harper, and when she returns, I’ll make good on that promise. Won’t I? And Riley…after everything she’s been through because of her father and this Family, she won’t want anything to do with me or the Kings.
So why did I spend all of yesterday fucking her?
And more importantly, what the hell do I do now?
Yesterday, I got so caught up in making Riley mine, I forgot one crucial fact. She never will be mine. She can’t be.
Several feet above me, the light of dawn paints my ceiling periwinkle. I stare at it like it’s the lid of my coffin. Why? Because I’ve dug myself a monumental grave.
I can’t believe after all these years, I’ve found myself in this position. The cliche asshole who sleeps with someone he can’t commit to, who wakes up at dawn so he can escape before she wakes too.
I hate myself for doing this to her. Riley doesn’t deserve it. She deserves the world. And I can’t give that to her.
I don’t know how to facemyselfin the mirror, let alone her. How can I apologize for something I don’t regret? And how can I act like succumbing to my lust and longing for her was the right decision? By pulling her deeper into my life, I’ve put hers in danger.
Shame and sadness fight for supremacy, and like the filthy scum of the earth I am, I rise before the sun and disappear while Riley sleeps.
Chapter 20
Riley
Where am I?
I roll over to find I’ve cocooned myself in my covers again.
When did my bed get so big?
My eyes snap open, and the semi-darkness of the room disorients me.
What’s going on?
Heart skipping in my chest, I wait for my mind to provide the memories that explain where I am and…oh my god. A ten-second spice reel of Finn and me plays in my mind, capturing yesterday’s events. Our arms tangled around each other like vines, his rough kisses as he thrust himself inside me, our voices overlapping in climax, the spasms of pleasure, both of us coming all over each other.
I have to bury myself under the covers to face this one.
Holy shit, what have I done?
When was the last time I had tons of sex or slept so well or did something that incredibly stupid and crazy? Never! Not only have I slept with the guy who’s engaged to my sister, but I almost told him about the crush I’ve had on him for, well…years.
No. Abso-fucking-lutely not.
This isn’t happening. Yesterday didn’t happen, did it?
I squeeze my body into a ball, hugging myself tight beneath the sheets. Finn’s sheets.