Page 57 of Cruel King
Ava covers my hand with hers to stop it, weaving her fingers through mine and setting our hands on her thigh. “I am, so stop it. Now tell me about what you do when you want to sketch something. Do you stare at it for a while like you did with the Christmas tree, or does something come to you like a bolt of lightning and you start drawing?”
I think about her question for a few moments before answering, “It depends. I studied the Christmas tree all that time because I felt like I needed to. Other times, I just pick up my pencil and draw. That mostly happens with the sketches I do when my brothers and I are all hanging out.”
“That’s probably because you’ve been looking at them your entire life, right?”
Nodding, I think about how I’ve drawn her like that many times. Then again, I’ve been looking at Ava for what seems like my entire life too.
She stretches her legs out in front of her so they overlap mine right below my knees. She’s as light as air on top of me, but the feel of her skin on mine excites me. I’ve dreamed of being with her for so long, never believing it could ever happen, and to have her sitting with me in my bed like this feels like one of those dreams.
If it is, I pray to God nobody wakes me up.
“You got quiet there,” she says as she taps her finger against my forearm.
I shake my head to push the thoughts out of my mind and smile. “Just didn’t have anything to say for a few seconds.”
What I’d love to say to her I can’t. Not yet, at least. Maybe someday, though.
My life is going to change soon when my father finally decides my months of avoiding joining King Industries are over. I’ll be in the city every day, forced to join the ranks of the working businessmen of the world. Ava’s life is going to change too in the coming months. She’ll probably start college soon, and that means playing soccer again, I’m sure.
But I hope with all that happening for both of us that we’ll be able to find time to spend at least a few hours a week together. I’m already dreading my life as part of the family business being trained to take over the company when my father retires, so having the ability to be the person I am with her right now for a few precious hours sounds perfect.
I wish I could talk to her about this, but for her, this thing between us is brand new. She has no idea I’ve fantasized about her as more than just my brother’s best friend and the girl who lives in the carriage house. Telling her any of this likely would make her run away in complete terror since she’d think I was some stalker or something.
So for now, all of my plans and hopes for what’s going to happen come the new year will stay with me. Maybe by spring I’ll be able to share them with her.
My chest aches like someone’s carving into it as I think back to how happy I was that day with her. All my dreams had finally come true, and I thought we had a future together.
And then she left, and all those hopes were dashed. Now five years later, I’m back here to deal with my father’s imminent passing, but I feel like part of me is dying every time I see her. I want to grab her by the shoulders and make her stand in front of me as I shout, “Why did you leave me?”
But like with nearly every other part of my life, I can’t do that. So I sit here in my anger and hatred wishing I felt neither because all I want to do is have her back with me so I can feel the way I felt on those snowy December days again.
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
Ava
As I stormout of the King house, I slam the front door and instantly regret it since it probably disturbed Mr. King. Fucking Matthias! I hate him. Yes, actual hate. Not the kind of thing people say when they’re angry and then take back later.
Oh, no. This is full on, one hundred percent, makes me want to punch something hate for him.
Tears roll down my cheeks as all of today finally becomes too much for me. It’s likely the last day Mr. King will be alive, and his terrible oldest son chooses today to berate me for talking to his father.
What a bastard!
Marching across the grass toward the road, I swear I could push a car out of my way I’m so furious. Of course, I always cry when I get truly angry. That asshole Matthias probably thinks I had tears in my eyes because he hurt my feelings.
Well, fuck him. He can believe what he wants. He’s going to anyway. It’s not like he bothers to consider that other people have feelings. No. He just acts whatever way he wants, and the rest of the world be damned.
I mumble to myself how much I hate Matthias King, finding some relief from my misery in my cursing him out. Next time he does something like that—and there will be a next time because he seems hell bent on making my life as awful as possible—next time I’m going to give him both barrels. I don’t know how I’m going to control this silly crying thing that happens every time I get mad, but I’ll find a way. And when I do, I’m going to tell him exactly what kind of awful son of a bitch he is. I might even include how I hope he ends up alone and miserable in his big house full of all the money in the world around him.
“Ava! Wait up!” Theo calls out behind me.
I turn to look at him for a brief moment but don’t stop. I’m too damn angry right now, so I need to keep moving.
He catches up to me a few seconds later, full of happiness and giving me one of his typical Theo smiles. How on earth he and that shithead of an older brother can be related is beyond me. It’s a mystery of modern-day science how an entire family full of good people can have one utterly rotten one too.
“Hey, what’s going on? You look like you could punch a bear right now.”
I turn to look at him and can’t help but laugh. “Punch a bear? Have I ever punched any animal, much less a bear? I don’t even think I could punch a person, although your damn brother might have a good chance at that happening. I swear to God, Theo, one of these days I’m going to tell him exactly what I think of him, and then he’ll be left standing there with tears in his eyes.”