Page 84 of Cruel King

Theo can’t forgive me.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE

Matthias

A noise distractsme from my phone call, and I look up from my laptop to see Ava standing in the doorway to my office. It’s been a week since I walked down to her house to give her Theo’s letter. A quick glance tells me she’s doing better than she was that day, thankfully.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll come back later,” she says quietly.

Shaking my head, I hold my hand up to stop her. “I’ll be done in a minute. Please stay.”

Confusion fills her expression, along with what I think may be suspicion at my attempt to be nice, but she stays all the same. She has no idea how happy I am to see her up and out of bed now.

I listen as the head of the petroleum division of King Industries continues to talk about some issue she’s been asking to meet with me about for three weeks. Distracted by Ava as she sits on the couch on the other side of my office, I nod and hum every few seconds to make it seem like I’m listening.

I’m not. All I can think about is how beautiful Ava looks today. Something about her seems different somehow, as if she’s changed since I saw her last.

If only I could tell her that. I’ve never been that way, though. Theo has always been the one King who could flatter and charm better than the rest of us. It’s why everyone loves him from the second he walks into their lives.

No wonder she fell in love with him.

Jennifer Sayton finishes telling me what she thinks I need to know, so I say, “Okay, get your section heads together and we’ll have a meeting on Monday at eleven a.m. I’ll read the reports you’ve sent and be up to speed by then.”

Happy to be finished with my call, I hang up and walk over to the couch to sit down on the opposite end from Ava. She looks even more suspicious now. I can understand why she wouldn’t trust me to be nice or kind today or any other day.

Except for those days we spent together, I’ve never been anything close to either of those things. I’ve made her pay over and over for leaving, but that’s over. I don’t want to hurt Ava anymore.

“I’m guessing you’re here for the work we need to do with Lucas regarding the estate.”

Ava nods and then hangs her head. “I’m sorry I haven’t been living up to my part. I just needed some time.”

“Well, no worries. I made sure to take care of everything. I told Lucas you were sick and wanted us to keep going. He was fine with it. I didn’t want anyone my father left things to in his will to have to wait. The charities especially need that money, so we went ahead and expedited everything.”

For a moment, I don’t think she understands what I mean. Then she shakes her head and says, “So all the money will be distributed, and we’re done?”

I force a smile even as I have to say something that’s tearing me up inside. “All done. You can leave and go wherever you need to.”

Where she plans to go isn’t a mystery. She’ll be going with Theo now. As much as I want to stop her, I have no right. She loves him, and he loves her. They should be together. It’s as if that’s what was always meant to be. Her days with me were just a moment in time compared to the years they’ve cared for one another. It would be wrong to try to get in the way. I see that now.

My heart sinks when she stands up to leave. Some tiny part of me had hoped maybe she’d stay here with me, but after how I’ve acted toward her, that was a foolish thought.

“Thank you. I appreciate this, Matthias.”

Pretending I’m fine, I shrug like none of this matters to me. Not her. Not seeing her leave. It’s all fine.

“You’re welcome, but it was no problem.”

She walks out of my office, taking my last possible chance that she and I can ever be together with her. Likely she’ll leave to go be with Theo today. I can’t think of that anymore. I’ve known this would happen once I gave her that letter. He probably told her he just needed a little time, like he always does when he gets angry. But now that he’s had time to think about things, he’d be crazy if he hasn’t called Ava begging her to come be with him.

All I can do is try to forget her and everything I feel. We were never meant to be. I see that so clearly now.

But I’ll never be able to forget Ava or that time we spent together. It’s just that now she and my emotions will stay in a place deep inside me so I can’t hurt her or my brother ever again.

The attempt tosimply accept that Ava is now with Theo turns out to be harder than I thought it would be, and by nine that night, I’m standing outside his apartment staring up at what I’m pretty sure is his front window. I don’t see any lights, which probably means they’re together up there.

I don’t know why I need to torture myself like this. How will knowing she’s with him now make the sadness I feel go away? I’m happy for him, even if it’s killing me inside. Isn’t it enough to know they were able to overcome all that happened?

Fishing out a key he gave me a few years ago from my pants pocket, I head up to his apartment, knowing this is a mistake. I just need to see that they’re together and then maybe I can go on with my life. At least that’s what I keep telling myself as I ride up in the elevator to the eighth floor.