Page 22 of Stuck Together

“And you’re angrier than I ever remember you being.”

“I seem angry to you?”

“Yes. Angry. Distant. Annoyed. I can't quite tell which. Maybe a little of all three,” he said.

“Are you sure you described me or yourself? Those emotions sound an awful lot like the man I had to endure in the car ride today.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I may have started out that way, but once we talked, my emotions settled out. I thought yours did too. Until ...”

“Logan. We can't spend the next two days like this. Either we try to be friends, or we keep this strictly professional. Which means no more moments like the one in the cabin.”

“Friends? You thinkwecan be friends?”

“I don’t know. But seeing you again reminds me of what we use to have. Before that night. A part of me wants to hate you, but I can’t. And I’m not sure what to do with that reality.”

He took another sip of his beer, not taking his eyes off me. The look in his eyes was unreadable, and I started to feel nervous under his gaze. Did I share too much? Maybe I shouldn’t have said that part about not hating him. If Logan read between the lines, he’d figure out that I spent a great deal of time thinking about him over the years.

He looked away and sighed. “It’s just. This is harder than I thought it would be. When Grandmother showed up with you on Monday, I kinda freaked out. I had come to accept that I’d never see you again. But now your here and I don’t know how to act.”

I don’t know what possessed me to reach across the table and take his hand, but I did. As soon as we touched, and a tingling sensation zapped my fingers and ran up my arm. It was so unnerving, I almost pulled back, but I gripped his hand in mine instead. “Just be yourself, and I’ll be me. We don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. Let's make a truce. There's no reason for this to be hard.”

He tightened his hand around mine and the hooded gaze he gave me before we almost kissed back at the cabin settled in his eyes. “Okay. I can do that. And you’re right. This shouldn’t be hard. I have nothing but great memories of the time we shared growing up.”

“Exactly. And if—” Before I was able to finish my thought our food arrived. We both settled into our meal in silence, but now the silence wasn’t quite as awkward. There was a time when Logan and I were so close, we knew what the other was thinking without the need for words. I suddenly longed for that relationship and closeness back. I’d never been that close to another person before, not even with Emma and Kendra. Aside from Logan, they probably knew me better anyone else, but I still didn’t share that same connection with them that I once had with him.

I missed that closeness and that connection with someone almost as much as I missed him. After he left, I never let anyone that close to me again. The loss of what we shared was too great. Sitting here with him now, I couldn’t help but wonder if that were something we could get back. It sounded so stupid, even in my head, to think that I could, or should, trust him again.

Desperate for a distraction, I let my eyes wander around the restaurant. My mind was on this weirdness with Logan when we arrived, and I didn’t bother to take in the beauty of the dining area. It was beautifully decorated and festive with twinkles lights strung across the ceiling, ribbons and trimmings around every post, countertop, and accent tables. Even the dining tables were festively decorated with pinecones and Christmas candles. But it was the numerous Christmas trees scattered around the room that made the place welcoming for the holidays. At least a dozen trees were decorated in various themes and colors. It reminded me of Althea’s house growing up. She always had several trees placed throughout her house. One in every room in the main living area of her house in the Hamptons.

There was a gathering of people near the main lobby entrance to the restaurant. Upon closer inspection, I noticed several tables with craft supplies spread out and the tree behind the tables was sparsely decorated. The decorations it did have all looked handmade. I smiled at the memory of doing that exact same activity with Grandma, Althea, and Logan growing up. It was a Christmas tradition that I missed.

“Are you okay?” Logan’s voice dragged me back to our dinner and out of my memories. “You haven’t said a word since we started eating.”

I looked down at my plate and my dinner was almost gone. I barely remember eating a single bite. “Yeah, it’s just seeing all these decorations and the craft table over there is bringing back a lot of memories from when we were kids. I haven't thought about when we were kids in a really long time.”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin and leaned forward. “What was your favorite childhood memory.”

“That’s easy. It will always be the first Christmas in the Hamptons. The one right after my parents died. I guess that doesn't sound like it should be a happy memory but that was probably one of the best Christmases I ever had. It should’ve been sad, but Althea made it so special. And you were so sweet. You two didn’t give me a chance to miss my parents.”

“I remember that. What were we? Ten and eleven?” I nodded. Aside from that night with Logan, the year I turned eleven was the most memorable year of my life. And notallin a good way. My parents died in a car accident that summer and I became an orphan. It was also the year I met Althea and Logan. “I knew how hard it was to lose your parents. Mine had died a few years before that and all I could think about was how I didn’t want anyone else to ever feel that alone and lost. I had just met you and didn’t know anything about you, but I was determined to make sure you knew you had a place in this world, parents or not.”

“It was nice and so unexpected. You guys kind of became my adoptive family. I really missed that after ...” I took a drink of my wine, feeling to the need to hide my face. I lost so much more than Logan when he ran from me. It wasn’t just his friendship that I lost. I lost the family that I had gained with Althea. It was like losing my parents all over again. I cleared my throat and changed the subject. “Do you and Althea still exchange handmade Christmas ornaments on Christmas Eve?”

A pained look crossed his face. “No, we stopped doing that shortly after Rylee was born.”

“What? That’s too bad. I bet Rylee would love that tradition. Remember how we always turned it into a game to see who could get the funniest ornament or makes ones to looked like each other.”

“Yeah, I remember.” His voice was flat. He didn’t seem happy about recalling these memories.

“I can’t believe you guys stopped that.” Making those ornaments was one of my best memories and one I’d missed dearly.

“You know how it goes.” He shrugged. “Life gets busy.”

And idea struck me. I looked at his empty plate and asked, “Are you done eating?”

“Yeah.” He took the last drink of his beer and leaned back in his chair. “Are you ready to head back?”

I shook my head, no.