Page 120 of Truck Up
You can’t have it both ways, Lia.You can’t demand his attention while simultaneously demanding space.
Maybe it’s time to stop playing these childish games. Maybe I should tell him exactly what I need, to stop hoping he’ll magically figure it out. Men aren’t exactly renowned for their mind-reading abilities, and Christian is no exception.
But the fear is paralyzing.
He’s shown me he cares, in his own endearing way, but his words have always been scarce. I need to hear him say it, to feel the full weight of his love, to know that we’re truly in this together.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?” The sound of Nova’s voice startles me and I jump up.
I press my hand to my chest and take a deep breath. “God, Nova. You scared me.”
She shrugs. “Didn’t mean to.”
“Who was at the door?” I ask, hoping my startled state hides the fact that I’m hopeful Christian came to see me.
“Just a package being delivered.” She watches me closely as I attempt to hide my disappointment behind another deep breath.If she sees my true feelings, she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she points at my arm. “That bruise looks worse today. Tell me what really happened.”
I pull my arm to my chest and cover the bruise with my hand. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Nova pushes off the door frame and joins me on the bed. “I don’t care. Your silence only draws more questions and concerns. Not to mention the rumors.”
“What rumors?” I ask, my voice a little too sharp, a little too defensive. I’ve been a recluse since … well, since it happened. The only people I’ve spoken to are my closest friends, Mom, and Darlene. This is the first time I’ve heard of rumors.
“The word around town is that Christian did that to you after you got pissed at him over the poker game.”
My jaw drops. “Christian didn’t do this to me.”
“I know,” Nova says, matter-of-factly. “That man would never hurt you. He thinks he will, but he won’t. What I need to know is who actually did that to you.”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”
Nova gives me a hard stare. It’s the kind of look that makes me want to shrink back into the shadows, the kind a parent reserves for when a child has disappointed them. “Rumor also has it that Badger was the only other person outside when you were hurt. So if Christian didn’t do this to you, then it had to be Badger. What do you say to that?”
My heart hammers against my ribs, a frantic drumbeat echoing in my ears. My eyes widen, the world suddenly distorted, the edges blurring as fear washes over me.
Jumping to my feet, I turn my back to her. “You overthink things too much, you know that?”
“I worry about my friends. If the roles were reversed, you’d be asking me the same questions.”
I close my eyes, the world fading away as I try to regulate my breathing. Fear, cold and clammy, grips me, twisting my insides into knots.
This conversation is tearing at my insides, exposing the fragile pieces of my shattered confidence. I’ve kept this a secret for far too long. I know I need to talk, to be honest with Nova—and my family—but the fear of them not believing me is paralyzing.
Yet, I know Nova won’t let me down. She and Hadley will stand by my side, holding me up as I face the truth head-on. That’s the kind of friends they are—fierce, loyal, and brutally honest.
“You’re right.” I turn to face her and force myself to meet her concerned gaze.
“Then tell me what happened.” She insists.
My hands fly to my face, burying it in my palms, a desperate attempt to block out the world. This conversation has been a ghost haunting me for over two years, a specter I’ve successfully evaded until now.
Foolishly, I believed I could bury the truth, that I could somehow escape its inevitable reckoning, despite the constant presence of Badger in my life. But circumstances have conspired against me, forcing me to confront the past, to finally speak the words I’ve so desperately tried to silence.
I can’t let Christian carry this burden any longer. I can’t let him be forever branded the villain in my life. He deserves to be seen as the hero that he truly is to me.
I take a deep breath and look at my friend. “Okay, but I only want to tell this story once. Can you call Hadley and have her meet us at my parents’ house?”
“Lia, stop avoiding this,” Nova says in frustration.