Page 15 of Truck Up

Though I can’t blame him for the anxiety I feel about meeting my friends. Telling them the biggest secret I’ve ever kept from anyone is taking its toll.

My friends and I tell each other everything. They’re not going to understand why I didn’t trust them with this secret.

I didn’t trust anyone with it.

Not the truth of what Badger did to me or how it bound me to Christian forever.

No one will understand.

Not even my friends.

I turn off my car and force myself to get out. I’m about ten minutes late, and if I avoid going inside any longer, my phone will explode with messages from Nova and Hadley.

Honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t messaged me already. Hell, I’m surprised they didn’t come to the flower shop, pull me outside, and force me to talk. We don’t cry 911 unless something is seriously wrong. That they’ve waited a few hours for us to meet is a miracle.

I step inside the restaurant. The hostess says something to me, but her words don’t register. Instead, I look around until I spot my friends at a table all the way in the back.

“I see my friends,” I say and point in their direction. The hostess smiles and goes back to wiping down the stack of menus in front of her.

My heart pounds louder and faster with each step I take. I shouldn’t be this nervous. They won’t judge me or decide they hate me for what I’ve done. They might be upset at me for keeping Christian a secret, but hate me? Never. That’s not how our friendship works. They’ll support me and do whatever it takes to make sure I’m okay and taken care of.

“It’s about damn time,” Nova says in her typical no-nonsense way. “I was about to send out a search party.”

“Sorry. I got held up at work.” The lie slips right out as I take a seat opposite my friends. I instantly feel like shit. I don’t lie to my friends.

“What’s that look for?” Hadley asks.

I shake my head before hiding my face behind my hands. “Because that was a lie.”

“What was a lie?” Nova asks.

I let out a deep breath and sit back in my chair. “That I got held up at work. I didn’t. I’ve been sitting in my car, too nervous to come in to talk to you.”

“What?” Hadley’s voice cracks on the one-word question. The look of sadness on her face makes me feel even worse. “Why would you ever be nervous to talk to us?”

I have to look away. Making eye contact with them is too hard. “Because I’ve kept something a secret from you guys.”

My admission is met with silence. When I glance at them, they’re both staring at me with blank expressions, as if my words did not compute.

“Come again?” Nova raises a brow in question.

I huff and lean forward on my elbows. “I’ve been keeping something a secret from you guys for a little over two years now.”

“But why?” Hadley asks. The hurt in her voice is like a stab in the heart. Tears prick at my eyes. I squeeze them tight and fight to keep calm.

I take a deep breath before I meet their shocked gazes. “Because it’s something I never should have done.”

“You still could’ve told us.” Nova huffs and crosses her arms over her chest.

“I know.” Now my voice is the one to crack. My eyes sting again, and I squeeze them closed to avoid the tears.

“Then why didn’t you tell us?” Hadley asks. When I open my eyes and meet her stare, my tears win. Hadley is the most sensitive of our group. The sadness that overtakes her expression is too much for me.

I shrug. “It’s not because I don’t trust you. It’s just … Complicated.”

“Complicated how?” Nova snaps. She’s anything but sensitive. Nova is blunt and never beats around the bush. If she’s mad, everyone knows it. Right now, she is definitely mad.

I take one last deep breath and spit it out. “I’ve been sleeping with Christian Mutter.”