Page 55 of Truck Up
Nova gasps. “She didn’t!”
I nod. “It was quite the spectacle. She kept yelling that no grandbaby of hers would ever wear something from a Mutter.”
“And Grams didn’t argue back?”
“Nope. She just smiled at me and said she was also making a blanket for her grandchild. She put emphasis onher. I thought Mom was going to have a coronary.”
“God, I love that woman.” I can hear Nova’s smile in her words.
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool.” I glance over at Nova and try to force a smile to match hers. But I can’t do it. “She hasn’t heard from him either.”
She reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Try not to worry. He’ll be back soon. I’m sure of it.”
I nod and fight back the tears. “What if he’s using again? This is just the thing that could cause him to break.”
Nova is shaking her head before I get my greatest worry out. I’ve never said these words out loud, but I think about them all the time. Christian does too. “Nope. Don’t think like that. He’s stronger than anyone gives him credit for. You two will get through this.”
“I worry about it all the time. We both do.” I admit. “He’s worked so hard to stay clean. I don’t want to be the reason he backslides.”
“Girl, I’d bet my last dollar you’re the reason he’s stayed clean this long. You’re the strongest person I know, and that strength bleeds into everyone in your life. I guarantee he thrives on that.”
“But he’s not here!” I break. I’ve held in my emotions for as long as I can. My tears break free and stream down my face as a sob takes over. “He’s off doing God knows what and spiraling. I can’t help him out of that if he’s not here.”
“Lia.” Nova sighs and I can’t tell if it’s from frustration because I won’t listen to her reason or because she shares my concerns. It’s hard to tell with her sometimes. She’s not always the most patient person, but she cares deeply. “You’ve got to stop trying to be everyone’s savior. I know you love Christian, but the only person who can save him is himself.”
“But I can help him.” I cry.
“True, but only if he accepts your help. Right now, he needs space and time, and you need to take care of you and this baby.” She pulls her phone out of her back packet and looks at the screen. “And get ready for work. You’re going to be late.”
“I don’t want to go to work.” I cringe at how whiny my voice sounds.
Thankfully, Nova laughs instead of scalding me. She hates whiners. “Yes, you do. You love your job.”
“Mom’s driving me crazy. I can’t handle her right now.”
“When doesn’t Johanna drive you crazy?” Nova pushes to her feet. She reaches for my hands and tugs me off the bed. “Come on. I’ll make you pancakes while you shower and get dressed.”
“With bacon?” The prospect of being able to eat bacon again excites me. Thankfully, my body didn’t reject it for long.
I look up at her with puppy dog eyes. She hates it when I do that, which is precisely why I do it.
She chuckles and shakes her head. “Not if you talk to me like that I won’t. I need a smile. Only then will I make you bacon.”
“I don’t have any smiles left in me at the moment.” Not entirely a lie. I could force a smile if I had to, but I don’t want to.
She crosses her arms over her chest with a raised brow. It’s not in my nature to take a defeatist attitude toward life. I always look for the bright side when things get tough. Right now, I’m struggling to find a bright side to hang onto.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I say. “Let me wallow in self-pity for once.”
Nova shakes her head and frowns. “No can do. The Lia I know and love doesn’t wallow. She fights back and kicks ass when things get tough. She’s strong and never gives up.”
I growl in frustration. “I’m tired of being strong all the time. When is it my turn to lean on someone else for a change?”
“Girl, you’ve got me and Hadley. You can lean on us anytime you need to, but that doesn’t mean you give up. Never give up.”
“I’m not going to give up. I just want to not fight and kick ass for at least one day. Can I have one day to wallow? Please.”
“Onemore day.” She points her finger at me like she’s about to reprimand me for unacceptable behavior. “You’ve been wallowing for almost a week now. Tomorrow, you’re back to kicking ass and taking names. Deal?”