Page 62 of Truck Up
It’s done. All I can do now is try to fix my mistakes and hope she doesn’t hate me.
As soon as I open the front door, her scent overwhelms me. Sweet and cheerful. That’s my Amelia.
Her jacket is tossed over the armrest of the couch and there are some groceries on the small table by the kitchenette. It looks like she prepared to stay here for an extended period. As much as I’d love to keep her here with me, this cabin isn’t big enough for a family.
I never intended for it to be more than an escape when I needed to hide. No one was ever supposed to know I even owned this cabin. But that was before her. Before I gave into temptation and made her mine.
She changed everything, and I need to rethink my life.
When I see Amelia curled up in my bed sleeping, my breath catches in my throat. Her hair is fanned out over the pillow, her soft curves visible beneath the covers. The faintest snore escapes here with every breath she takes. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.
In all the time we’ve spent together here, sleeping is not one of the activities we’ve indulged in. She’s never spent the night. I’ve never held her while we slept.
The emotions that come over me are so strong they almost knock me off my feet. I want that. I want Amelia to be here with me always. I never thought I’d be a father, and I’m still scared shitless, but I want this with her. All of it.
Not bothering with my clothes, I pull the covers back and slip into the bed next to her. She lets out a soft moan as I wrap my arms around her, resting a hand on her belly.My baby.I can’t see it or feel it yet, but I can sense it’s here.
An excitement I’ve never let myself feel before washes over me. Is this my chance to right all the wrongs of my past? It seems so stupid for someone like me to reproduce. I’m damaged goods. I don’t need to pass that on to a kid.
But then again, I wasn’t given a fair chance at life. My fate was sealed for me the day I was born. It doesn’t have to be that way for this baby. He or she will have an amazing mother. She will make up for all of my shortcomings and never let this kid suffer because of who its father is.
I can do better—be better—for them.
I kiss the top of her head and whisper, “I’m sorry. I’ll never leave you like that again.”
“Mmmkay,” she moans as she sinks further into me. She’s not awake, and it hasn’t registered to her conscience that I’m here. I wrap my arms tighter around her and relish the calm she provides. I don’t know how long that will last once she wakes up.
Her body stiffens, and it feels like she stops breathing. Then she shoots up in bed and whips her head around to face me. “Christian!”
She stares at me for several seconds like she’s not sure if she can trust her eyes. A range of emotions stare down at me. Surprise. Confusion. Anger. Happiness. Fear. And even love.
I still can’t believe this woman loves me.
“Hi,” I whisper. I reach up and brush her hair away from her face. She gasps at my touch.
“Oh, my God,” she says as she throws her arms around me and squeezes me tight. “Where have you been?”
Her arms around me feel like heaven, so I do the only thing I know how to do. I hug her back. I hug her so tight I’m surprised she can still breathe. “I’m here now.”
“I was so worried.” Her voice cracks as she fights back tears. “You’ve never been gone this long before.”
“I know, and I’ll never do it again. Not like that.”
She nods and doesn’t speak for several minutes as she holds me tight. It’s like she’s afraid I’ll vanish if she lets go.
“I’ve got you, baby,” I whisper before I kiss the side of her head. “I promise.”
She nods before she releases me and sits up. I instantly miss her warmth against me. She wipes her face dry before she slaps her hand against my chest. “Never leave me like that again. Ever.”
I shake my head. “Never, baby. I’m staying right here.”
“Good,” she sighs and adjusts until she’s sitting cross-legged next to me. I rest my hand on her knee and squeeze. “We need you. More than you know.”
I hold her stare for several seconds before I shift my gaze to her belly. “Everything okay? I mean … I know nothing about babies and pregnancies. Are you okay?”
She nods. “I went to the doctor last week. The doctor says I’m about ten weeks along. Due at the end of March. That matches up with when I ran out of pills. I guess we didn’t use condoms for long enough after that break.”
I shift until my head is resting on her lap, and then I press my hand over her stomach. “I’m so sorry I panicked and left like that. I’m still panicking, but I’m here. I won’t leave like that again.”