Page 64 of Truck Up
The whole thing makes me excited and nervous. I want this life with Christian, but the nagging voice in the back of my head keeps telling me he’s not ready for all of this.
He’s told me he wants me. That he needs me. That he doesn’t want to lose me. But he still hasn’t told me that he loves me. His actions say he loves me—at least I think they do—but the words have still never exited his lips.
I keep telling myself that actions speak louder than words, but doubt keeps creeping in.
It also doesn’t help that my family is still being difficult. Mom is trying, though she can’t keep her opinions about Christian to herself. Dad still hasn’t spoken to me. When I stopped by the house to get some of my things, he snuck out the back door and hid in the garage the entire time.
Linden and Tanner, however, are determined to make my life a living hell. They come by the flower shop every couple of days just to give me shit. They always bring Badger with them too. Christian would lose it if he knew.
Aaron and Jason are supportive. They’re confused by the whole thing, but they love me and want me to be happy. Even if it is with a Mutter.
Jason took me to lunch a couple of days ago. He did it to make me feel better about how the family is acting, but it ended up making me feel worse. I could care less about how my brothers feel—they’ll get over it—but I hate that this is taking such a toll on Mom and Dad.
I’ve taken care of them for so long, it feels weird not helping them now. Jason assured me he’s got everything covered, but that does nothing to ease the guilt I’m carrying.
I let out a deep sigh and toss the covers back. It’s way past time for me to get out of bed.
Even though it’s Sunday, Christian’s working on a custom build this morning. He said he only needed a few hours to get it completed. He’s behind on work after being gone for so long.
The flower shop is closed today, but I need to run in and wrap up the inventory before we run out of supplies. I got most of it done yesterday, but I still have a few things to finish.
But first, I need food and a shower.
I glance around his room before heading over to the closet. It’s small and sparse, but very clean. Christian doesn’t havemuch in here besides his clothes. No décor and only the bare minimum of furniture. A bed, one small dresser, and a round table that serves as a nightstand. The closet is mostly empty too. All my clothes will fit in there fine.
Long term, this room would never do for us. Maybe if I fixed it up a bit and made it less depressing, it wouldn’t be so bad. But Christian insists we won’t be here that long. He wants me to focus my energy on making the cabin a home.
After tossing on a pair of sweatpants, I head downstairs. The house is quiet except for the sound of Grams cooking in the kitchen. She’s always cooking. Her grandsons do a lot to help and keep the house in order, but she’s always in the kitchen making something. It leaves me feeling guilty for adding more work to her plate.
Grams gives me a huge smile when I step into view. “I was wondering when I’d see you this morning. Just made a fresh pot of coffee and warm biscuits are on the table. Would you like some eggs?”
“Thank you, but you don’t have to cook for me. I can make my own eggs.”
“I don’t mind.” She beams.
“You already do too much.” I insist but she ignores me. She waves me off and cracks two eggs before I can even take another step into the kitchen.
“Nonsense. Sit. Scrambled with cheese? Is that right?” She grabs an old cast-iron skillet and turns on the burner before I can even get my next words out.
“No use arguing with her,” a familiar deep voice says from the table. I jump because I didn’t realize anyone else was there.
I stare at Chase. He sounds so much like his twin, it’s eerie. Being identical twins, many people find it impossible to tell them apart aside from how they dress. Not for me, though. Their physical differences are apparent to me.
Their eyes are not the same. They’re the same color and shape, but the look within them is drastically different. Same with their mouth. Chase almost always has a hint of laughter behind his eyes and lips. Not Christian. There’s hardly ever any laughter in his expression.
“Good morning,” I say before I head over to the coffee pot and make myself the one cup that I’m allowed. My body is still adjusting to the decrease in caffeine, but if I drink too much, I get severe heartburn. And by too much, I mean more than one cup of coffee.
“You sleep okay?” Chase asks.
I feel his eyes on me as I sit down opposite him at the table. None of Christian’s brothers have been mean or treated me like I’m not welcome here, but that doesn’t make it any less awkward.
I take a sip of my coffee before answering him. “Yeah. Still adjusting to the change.”
He nods while he chews and swallows the bite of food in his mouth. “I’m sure all this is just as weird for you as it is for us.”
I snort and lift my hand, holding my fingers millimeters apart. “A lil’ bit.”
“You’re brave. I’ll give you that.” He shakes his head before taking a sip of his orange juice. His words are kind enough, but I sense he’s not all that happy with me being here. Or maybe he’s not happy with Christian. Either way, I fear this conversation is taking a turn in a direction I’d rather avoid.