Page 81 of Forever Found
As I walked into the small bathroom, with a shower over the tub, a small vanity and toilet, I found an equal amount of mess, the doors of the vanity thrown open and things abandoned on the floor. She had been terrified, I realized. She had been throwing things, just to get to what she needed, so desperate to get out of there and scared to be alone after what that drugged up asshole did to her. I saw a green first aid box amongst the mess, grabbed it and returned to her room, where she was in the process of awkwardly pulling off the cardigan she wore.
“Let me help,” I offered as I rushed forward and pulled the item of clothing off, gasping aloud when I saw the very clear hand print bruises on the top of both of her arms. Bruises were appearing on her chest too and she was favoring her left side as she sat tentatively at the foot of the bed. “That fucking asshole got me good, huh?” she laughed dryly.
“God help him if your brother gets his hands on him,” I uttered as I lay her expensive looking cardigan on the bed beside her.
“Yeah,” she sniffled. “I can’t believe I let this happen. I know how to defend myself. Kane made me take martial arts classes since I was eighteen, especially when he knew he was going into the military and leaving me. I’m not this person…I’m not weak,” she said, her words still little more than a rough whisper, obviously because of the state of her throat.
“It’s not about you. It’s about him. It doesn’t matter how strong you are, or how prepared you may be, if a man wants to hurt you, and he has that evil spark within him, he’ll always find a way,” I said sadly. God, how well I knew that to be true. Even if I had been stronger when I was taken – the way Jenny seemed to be – it wouldn’t have helped me much in the situations I had been in. Evil had won over me, no matter how resilient I tried to be. It had won over Jenny that morning too.
“I don’t believe that, Addy. Yeah, I wasn’t strong enough to get away from Dean this morning. I think part of that was that I never thought I needed to be with him. We’ve been together for months and I liked him. Sure, he could be an ass sometimes, but most of the time he was sweet and fun to be with. He caught me off guard and he’d already hit me a few times by the time I realized I had to fight back. So, yeah, he won today, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to except he’ll always win, or that he is inherently evil, so I have no chance anyway. Maybe we can’t always escape the evil in this world, but that thought will never stop me from training and working to be as prepared as I can be to face something like this if it ever happens again. Nothing will stop me from fighting against the fucked up people in this world, as hard and as dirty as I need to, in my fight to come out on top. This world is so fucking good at breaking people down and swallowing them up. That’s what it did to our mom. She was just a cog in the machine, working her ass off day after day, fighting to pay bills and put food on the table for Kane and I. In the end she worked herself to death and died alone. She never lived. She never saw any of the world, or even got to enjoy the money she slaved for, day in, day out. She just survived until her body gave out on her. I’m not going out that way, and no asshole, man, or woman, is going to make me afraid to live the way I want to either.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I sighed as I sat on the bed beside her and busied myself opening the first aid box and pulling out antiseptic and gauze.
“Fuck no, it’s not easy, but life isn’t fucking easy. It’s crappy and miserable, always trying to pull you down, but I refuse to let it. I decided the day I found my mom dead on the floor of our kitchen that I wanted so much more from my life than she ever got, and I fight for that. Some days, like today, I don’t accomplish it, but I’m not giving up. I’m fucking scared and shaken to shit right now, but tomorrow I’ll get my shit together again and I’ll hold my fucking head high, because Dean, and all of the assholes in life just like him, do not get to bring me down. Fuck them!,” she rasped loudly. I could see the fire in her eyes, determined and so sure she would not be broken by what had happened to her that morning. She was strong, just like her brother, and I envied her that. I wished I could have just one ounce of the strength she was filled with.
I was silent as I worked to clean up the cut on her head and cover it with some gauze and tape. I couldn’t get her words out of my head. She didn’t want to let life break her down the way it had her mother. I should feel that way too, right? I should want to fight to be better and strong again so all of the bad things that had happened to me and all of the monsters who did them, didn’t get to win either.
But I was already broken down, and so, so very tired. Just being as calm and ‘normal’ as I was in that moment was taking everything in me. The mess in my head still raged on inside, making my head hurt to the point I feared it would split. I wasn’t Jenny, and I never would be. I had never held the strength and determination she did, even before I was taken. My mom and my lonely existence growing up had already started to break medown long before those thugs kidnapped me on the side of the road that night.
CHAPTER 26
ADDY
“I’m sorry of I upset you,” Jenny said as I helped her to pull on a dark blue hooded sweater with the jeans she’d already changed into.
“You didn’t. I’m good,” I assured her with a forced smile. “Do you need to grab anything else to bring with us?” I asked to end the subject before it even started.
“I let my mouth move before I think anything through. It’s totally fine if you need to tell me to shut the hell up, you know? I want us to be friends. I didn’t mean to fuck it up so quickly,” she sighed.
“You didn’t mess anything up,” I told her as I met her eyes. “And I’d love if we could be friends.” I added honestly. I’d never in my life had a real female friend, and as much as I may envy Jenny’s spark and fire, I also liked her so far, a lot.
“Everything okay in there?” Kane called, and I found myself storming towards the door, just wanting to get my eyes on him, so I could reassure my panicked mind that we were still safe.
“Go and calm him down. I’ll be out in a minute,” Jenny told me with a wave of her hand. She didn’t need to tell me twice.
In a matter of seconds I was at the end of the hall, my arms wrapped tightly around Kane where he stood between the living room and hallway.
“Easy,” he whispered when he wrapped me in his arms in return and held me securely against him. “I’m right here. You’re safe.”
“Yeah,” I whispered on a loud exhale of relief. “I know that now.”
A loud knock at the door had us pulling apart, and Kane instantly moved me behind him.
“Kane!” Jenny cried as she came out into the hall looking shaken. “Is it him?”
“I fucking hope so,” Kane growled. “Both of you in the bedroom, and lock the door. Don’t come out until I…”
“Kane? Its just us!” Asher yelled over the next hard knock.
“It’s just my brother,” I sighed deeply as I placed a reassuring hand on Jenny’s forearm, which trembled beneath my grip.
“How the fuck did you get in the building?” Kane asked with a snarl as he ripped open the door of the apartment.
“Door was propped open. Some guy was bringing in boxes of shit from his car,” Adam shrugged as he seemed to search the room the second he walked in. His eyes glanced over Jenny, but ultimately landed on me.
“Tell me you fucking shut it. It’s a secure building,” Kane barked.
“I had a word with the guy. I think he understands the error of his ways now,” Ash said calmly as he too turned to face me, kicking the door of the apartment closed behind him.