Page 104 of The Scientist
“I’m sorry,” he began, his voice softer now. “I’ve just been having some doubts about a few things.”
My stomach tightened. “A-about us?”
“Of course not,” he said firmly.
"Then what is it?" I asked hesitantly.
He sighed. "I’ve just been thinking... I don’t know if I handled this whole situation with Garrett the way that I should have."
“What do you mean?”
He rubbed his jaw, his expression becoming thoughtful. “I'm still angry that he showed up here uninvited, and I stand by what I said—he shouldn’t have put his hands on you,” he explained. “But I started thinking on the way over here that I might have more empathy for him than I care to admit.”
I blinked, surprised. “Empathy? Why?”
He hesitated, his expression tightening. “I realized that could’ve been me,” he said, his voice barely above a murmur. “If you ever left me, I don’t think I’d be above showing up at your door, desperate for another chance... It would be just as hard for me to accept that things were over.” His gaze drifted downward as he let out a heavy sigh. "I guess what I’m trying to say is I understand his motivations, even if I don’t agree with his methods.”
A swirl of emotions rose in me—surprise, tenderness, and a deep ache for the vulnerability he rarely showed. Without thinking, I crossed the room and folded myself into his lap, wrapping my arms around him. His arms encircled me tightly, holding me as if I might disappear.
“You’re a good person,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.
“I don’t know about that,” he replied with a soft, self-deprecating smile. “But I’ve watched you be kind to people who didn’t deserve it. That’s what made me start thinking about all of this in the first place. I wondered how you would’ve responded if you were in my shoes, and I realized you would’ve handled it with kindness.”
I shook my head. “You’re giving me way more credit than I deserve.”
“I don’t think I am.” He smiled faintly, brushing a lock of hair away from my face.
I pressed my forehead to his, and we sat in silence for a moment, the weight of everything starting to lift. His arms were strong around me, grounding, and I let myself sink into that warmth, feeling safe in a way I hadn’t in a long time.
His gaze lifted to mine, raw and unguarded. “I don’t want to lose you,” he murmured.
The heartache in his voice brought tears to my eyes. I tightened my hold on him, pressing my lips to his forehead. “You’re not going to lose me.”
He closed his eyes, and I could see the tension around the edges had relaxed a little. I stroked my thumb across his cheek, my heart breaking for how unnerved he had become. I then kissed each of his cheeks before pressing my mouth against his. I’d meant it to be reassuring, but my body immediately reacted to the taste.
After a few moments, I coaxed his lips to part so that I could feel his tongue against mine. He obliged, opening to me, and our tongues tangled. His hands pressed into my back, holding me to him as I ran my fingers through his soft hair. Heat pooled at my core with each passing sweep of his tongue across mine. I turned to put one leg on each side of his hips, and a low moan escaped from the back of his throat as I pressed our hips together.
“I want you,” I whispered against his lips, and it was true in every way. I wanted this man, body and soul, and I realized how much time I'd been wasting. Lex and I belonged together. Unfortunately, it had taken seeing Garrett again for me to realize just how true that really was.
He stood with me wrapped around him, never breaking our kiss as he walked me up the stairs to the bedroom as if I weighed nothing. When we reached the foot of the bed, I let my legs drop down and I stepped away from him. I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped my pants down to the floor until I was in nothing but my lacy black underwear and bra. His eyes were smoldering as they raked slowly over my entire body.
Never breaking our eye contact, I reached behind my back, unhooking my bra, and let it fall to the floor. I watched his lips part, his eyes fixated on me as I pulled my underwear down and stepped out of them. There wasn’t any part of me that felt shy or uncertain as I stood there stark naked in front of him. I couldn’t help but feel like a goddess with the blazing look he was giving me.
I walked backward until my legs hit the bed and looked at him expectantly.
His tongue slid slowly across his bottom lip. “Somehow, you look even sexier than every fantasy I’ve had about you,” he said brusquely.
I smiled, scooting myself back onto the bed. I got up onto my knees and started to pull him toward me.
“Do you think about me naked?” I asked in a low, husky voice that I barely recognized as my own.
“Yes.” He swallowed thickly. “A lot more than I probably should,” he finished quietly.
I slid my fingers beneath the hem of his shirt, my fingertips brushing lightly against his skin. I felt him shudder as I pulled it over his head.
“Good,” I said, running my hands over his chest through that small patch of hair at the center. “Because I think about you inside me,” I whispered, kissing along his chest. “A lot more than I probably should.”
He groaned at my words as another Russian expletive escaped his lips. My mouth found his, and we began kissing in earnest. I fumbled with the buckle of his pants until his hands replaced mine as he rushed to unfasten his belt before letting them drop to the floor. Sitting back on the bed, I leaned up on my elbows, waiting for him to follow. He stood at the foot of the bed, his eyes moving slowly along every inch of my bare skin. His gaze became fixed on the spot between my legs, staring at me hungrily until I was pulsating with need.