Page 148 of The Scientist
I looked into his pale blue eyes and saw nothing but adoration shining through them. My heart throbbed painfully at how much I missed that look, even if the color was all wrong.
The drinks clouded my mind as I started to wonder if I’d made a mistake writing Garrett off so quickly. I knew I’d never feel the same fierce, all-consuming type of love I’d had with Lex, but I deserved to at leasttryto find happiness, didn’t I? Hearing Garrett say he loved me felt like a lifeline was being thrown to me as I was drowning in grief.
I couldn’t make sense of what I was feeling. The rational part of my brain was fighting against the sad, messy part of my heart that just wanted to feel loved again. That part was telling me that maybe we hadn’t had enough time before… maybe if I just gave this another chance…
He took a step closer to me, and I froze. His hand reached out to cup my neck, and I watched in slow motion as his lips came closer to finally press against mine.
I knew at once that I’d made a huge mistake. I pulled back instantly, feeling my shoulders beginning to shake.Guilt started to rise up within me until I became sick with it. It felt like I’d been doused in cold water, and I sobered up quickly as the realization of what I’d done came crashing over me.
He stared at me for a long while. I couldn’t seem to find the words to say as my thoughts were spinning out of control.
Garrett finally broke the silence. “You’re not ready to let him go.”
I shook my head as the tears I’d been holding back slowly slid down the sides of my face.I was kicking myself for sinking so low. Garrett didn’t deserve this.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m such a piece of shit.” Never in my life had I felt so small.
“No, you’re not,” Garrett said softly. “I wish that you were… It would make it a hell of a lot easier to hate you.”
“I’d deserve it.”
Garrett exhaled a long breath through his nose.“Take care of yourself, Hadley,” he said before walking out of the door and out of my life.
???
I headed straight to the studio in the West Village the next morning to meet with Logan. With the alcohol out of my system and sound judgement fully restored, I decided the rest of this trip would be all business. I buried what happened last night deep inside, not ready to perform the autopsy on what I let happen just yet.
“Glad you could finally make it,” Logan said as I walked through the door of Sonic Music Studio. He was sitting at the soundboard and continued adjusting the aux knobs before he finally looked my way.
“Hey, Ship,” I said.
He eyed me from head to toe. “You look tanner.”
“Thanks?”
“It wasn’t a compliment,” he replied. “You look like California threw up on you.”
I smiled. “It’s good to see you too, Ship.”
“Spare me the pleasantries, Olivier,” he said, and I laughed.
“With this kind of warm reception, it’s crazy I didn’t rush out here sooner,” I told him.
His face reluctantly broke out into a smile. “Fine. Have it your way.” He leaned back in his chair. “Tell me all about life out in Kaleifornia. Are you able to make Pilates classes in between sampling different avocado toasts and pursuing the perfect Instagram sunset? Let’s really get into it.”
I shook my head, smiling. “I’d rather not.”
“Great, me either.” He turned back to the soundboard.He made a few more adjustments before he pushed his chair back and said, “Come on, I want you to meet somebody.”
I followed him over to the sound booth, where I spotted a petite blonde girl taking off her headphones as we approached.
“Hadley, I’d like you to meet Fiona Lockwood.”
She came out of the booth beaming. She couldn’t have been older than eighteen, but she was dressed and made up to look about twenty-five. I was willing to bet my life that Fiona Lockwood wasn’t even her real name.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” she said nervously. “I’m such a huge fan. I can’t believe you’re working on this project with us.”
She seemed sweet, innocent even. I knew the industry would beat that out of her in no time.