Page 2 of The Scientist

I was about to call to check in on my mom when the phone started to ring. It was my nowex-boyfriend, Garrett. We’d broken up a little over a week ago when I sat him down and told him that I was moving to California. He wasn’t a bad guy, I just wasn’t in love with him. We’d only dated for about six months and there was something missing—what Carrie Bradshaw would call the “zsa zsa zsu.” I knew we would never make long distancework, and I took it as a“here’s your sign”moment that I didn’t even want to try. I meant it when I said that I hoped we could still be friends, so I decided not to ignore him like my instincts were telling me to do.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, baby.” I cringed a little at his use of the pet name, but maybe old habits die hard.

“What are you up to?” he asked.

“Just getting settled in at my new place in the land of perpetual sunshine,” I answered sleepily.

“You really did it then?” Disbelief colored his tone. “You actually left New York?”

Well, that kind of pissed me off.

“Yes. What part of ‘I’m moving to California with my mom’ didn’t you believe?”

“I guess I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it. You love New York.”

“I do, but you know my mom is my world.”

Nothing but silence was coming through the other end of the line, so much so that I pulled my phone from my ear to check that we hadn’t gotten disconnected.

“So, that’s it? You’re giving up your whole life here? Your career? Me? It’s all just over because your mom needs you?” he asked sharply. “What if I need you?”

I really had to rein in my temper before I responded. I knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone. Always go with your gut, people.

“What did you think would happen, Garrett? I couldn’t stay for you. We weren’t even in love.”

“I was in love with you… I still am.”

Well, that felt like a knuckle sandwich to the belly button. I didn’t know what to say. He had never told me that he loved me.I had assumed we were on the same page. He didn’t even seem that upset when I broke things off.

“Garrett, I’m sorry. I know this all happened really fast, but this wasn’t something I planned. My mom is sick, and I’m going to be there for her… no matter what.”

“Okay, I get it. I’m sorry.” He sounded genuine, but I couldn’t shake the annoyance I felt from his lack of empathy for what my mom was going through.

“It’s fine,” I said, unable to hide my irritation.

There was a long pause where neither of us said anything, and I wondered if this would be the last time we would speak. We’d met through his sister, Sophie, who was a production assistant on one of the plays I’d been hired to compose music for.I’d been taking jobs on Broadway as a composer and lyricist over the past few years, while also juggling some other minor writing gigs here and there. But I left it all behind. That type of work requires all of your focus and attention, which was something I was unwilling to give to anyone or anything besides my mom at the moment.

“You’re going to hate California… Rumor has it they say ‘excuse me’ as an actual apology there and not a bark of annoyance,” he teased, and I automatically smiled. This was the side of him I liked.

Garrett was easygoing, good looking by anyone's standards, and always managed to make me laugh when I was having a bad day. He was a forensic accountant at a big law firm and absolutely loved his job. I'd never ask him to leave his job or New York, and he didn't offer when I told him that I was moving, so here we were.

“I know. It’s going to be the worst,” I agreed, and we both laughed, easing the tension between us. “Although, I can’t talk like that now. I’ve moved to the land where seldom is heard a discouraging word.”

“I doubt there are any buffalo roaming in downtown San Jose.”

“No deer or antelope playing either?”

“Nope.”

“There goes my dream of the great American West.”

We both chuckled lightly, reveling in our easy banter until the silence set in again.

“I’m going to miss you,” he said after a beat.

“I’ll miss you too,” I admitted, and it was the truth. I’d spent the last six months of my life speaking to this man each and every day, sharing our lives together. It wasn’t an easy thing to give up, but I knew in my heart that we weren’t meant to be. I wished more than anything I could keep him as a friend, but I knew all too well that time and distance will kill even the greatest of relationships.