Page 86 of The Scientist

I spun away from him, bringing my hands to my hair just as the tears started to fall. “God! I’m such a fucking idiot,” I said more to myself. “The worst part is that I was planning on telling you tonight and in the end, it would have all been for nothing!”

His brows knitted together as he stepped closer. “Telling me what?”

I could feel the alcohol still coursing through my veins as I paced back and forth across the entryway of my home. I had wanted it to help give me the courage to tell Lex how I felt, but now I was fighting to get control of that filter that drinking always made me lose.

I stopped and turned toward him. “Can you just answer one thing for me?” I swiped away the trickle of tears. “Why did you do all of this? Stuart told me how much more work the trial is for you… Did you just feel sorry for me?”

“Feelsorryfor you?” he questioned, disbelief evident in his tone. “Is that really what you think?”

“No! I thought—” But I couldn’t finish.

“What? You thought what?” His voice was low and tortured.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, shaking my head.

“You thought what, Hadley?” he pressed. His tone was desperate, and I knew it was no use hiding anymore.

“I thought this was real!” I cried, gesturing between the two of us. I put my hand over my heart, pressing it against my chest, trying to soothe the hurt. “I thought you felt the same way. I thought you wanted me as badly as I want you. But now… Now, I just feel like a fool, because I don’t think you ever wanted me.”

I was unable to stop more tears from falling, so I turned away, trying to hide my face.

“Don’t say that,” he said sharply. It came out barely above a whisper.

“Why not? It’s true,” I said, unable to meet his gaze.

“No, it’s not,” he said roughly. He took my face in his hands before tilting my chin up toward him so that I was looking him squarely in the eyes as he said, “It feels like that’s all I do. From the moment I met you. It feels like all I do is spend my time wanting you. Every second of every fucking day. I’ve never wanted anything so badly in all my goddamn life.”

He was breathing heavily as he said it, his eyes boring down into mine.

For the second time tonight, I’d heard enough.

I didn’t think. I just acted. One second, I was standing there, and the next, I was closing the distance between us as I crashed my lips to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me in close. It was better than I could have ever imagined. His mouth fit perfectly against mine. One hand was pressed against the small of my back while the other drifted to tangle in my hair, securing my mouth to his. The kiss deepened, and I couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped. The sound only seemed to ignite him further as he pulled my body even closer to his. Our tongues tangled and the faint taste of the beer we’d drunk combined with the stronger flavor of something minty lingered on his tongue. I wanted more of it. I wanted more of him.

I let my hands drift over the hard muscles of his chest that I’d been itching to touch since the first day I’d seen him shirtless. As I frantically explored every inch of that beautiful chest, I could feel him backing us up until my back hit the wall with a thud. His hands moved over my waist and hips as his body pressed further into mine, all while kissing me like he was born to do it.

I lifted my leg to hook around his hip and he took the hint, grabbing me under the thighs and lifting me as I wrapped my legs around his waist. We were more evenly matched in heightthis way, so I took advantage and swept my tongue across those perfect lips, savoring the taste and feel of him. He let out a hiss, and I moved my hips to press our perfectly aligned pelvises together. He pressed his hard length back into me, and I gasped.

Our bodies moved together like they were already thoroughly familiar with one another. I didn’t think I would ever get enough of this. Every touch, every taste had me wanting more. I never wanted to come up for air.

The sound of kissing and heavy breathing filled the room until suddenly I heard my phone ringing loudly from my back pocket. It wasn’t my mom’s ringtone so I ignored it, unwilling to move even an inch away from him. He was content to do the same as his tongue never ceased the sweeping motions across mine. A minute later, however, his phone started to ring just as loudly, and we both paused, realizing the same person was probably calling us and was probably going to keep calling us. He let the call go to voicemail as he set me down, looking irritated.

I smiled. I had a pretty good guess of who it was.

Our gazes were locked, and my eyes drifted to his swollen lips. I already missed the feel of them on mine. He was breathing heavily as he asked, “What are we doing, Hadley?”

I put my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. “Well, I’m no biologist, but I think it’s called kissing.”

He stepped closer. “I mean about us.” I could see the intensity of his emotions crackling right below the surface. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

“Me, too,” I said. “I had it all planned out. I was going to tell you how I felt about you tonight, but then…”

The memory of what had happened outside the bathroom with Nicky came crashing back.

“But then I fucked it up,” he said, finishing my sentence, looking regretful.“I’m sorry. I know I should have said something to her, but I was barely listening after she said I waspathetic for thinking I had a shot with you. I believed her. I never thought this would happen.”

“Why?” I was genuinely curious.

“Have you seen you?”