Page 11 of Tastes of Him

They shared a look, and I braced myself for the questions I knew would be incoming. Sure enough, Cameran curled an arm around my left one, leaving Julie to pull up on the right, effectively pinning me between them. My frown deepened when I realized I had walked into a fucking trap.

“So, I notice Roddie is still sleeping on the couch.”

I rolled my eyes before fixing Cameran with a sharp smile. “That sounds like a him problem.”

The smile she sent back was just as sharp. “Then why do you seem to be the one most bothered by it?”

Oh, you observant heifer.I loved the girl, but damn her and her ability to read me like a goddamn book. I figured going with a half-truth was better than outright refuting it. “Because I told him it wasn’t necessary.”

“Oh?”

“I would be just as happy on the couch, and I’d probably fit better than his Jolly Green Giant ass.” Julie’s snort of laughter almost had me breaking character, but I held strong to my scowl. “He’s the one who decided to make a play at martyrdom.”

Cameran stared at me for a moment before she shook her head. “Dear God, you are both impossible.”

“Excuse me?”

“What she means,” Julie jumped in, “is that both you and Rod seem to be having a disconnect.”

Cameran’s arm tightened briefly before she cut in. “No, what I’m saying is you’re both ridiculous, and I wish you would get your heads out of your asses so you could have an actual conversation instead of whateverthis,” she exclaimed, waving her free arm, “is! This back-and-forth bullshit has made me motion-sick, and I want to get off this ride I didn’t even buy tickets to.”

I swallowed hard at the frustration clear in her tone. Cameran wasn’t one to raise her voice, and I could tell from Julie’s silence that she was equally stunned. It wasn’t the first time I had seen Cameran lose patience, but it was the first time in a long time it had been directed at me. That made me pause and wonder if I should have declined to come. I’d thought I was the only one feeling the increasing tension, but now I wasn’t so sure.

“I…” My voice trailed off as I tried to think of what to say that would lighten the mood. There wasn’t anything there. I didn’t want this tension either, but I wasn’t quite sure how to turn the ship around. Cameran beat me to it, though, sighing softly before patting my arm lightly.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that,” she said before chewing on her bottom lip. I nodded but didn’t say anything. I didn’t think she was done with whatever she wanted to say, and I could only take being chastised so much. “Maybe this is all my fault.”

“What?” I frowned as I tried to understand what made her say that. I was drawing a blank. “Why would all this be your fault?”

She looked up at me before sighing again and looking away. “Because I keep pushing this you-and-Rod thing. At first, I thought…I mean, I still think…” She shook her head. “Maybe it was just wishful thinking that made me hope you two would get together. I mean, you’re my two favorite people—”

“Yeah, right here, love.”

“—outside of Julie, of course.” Her lips turned up in a soft smile as she looked past me, and I knew without turning that the same fond expression was all over Julie’s face. It made a pang of want run through me. I wanted that—the soft looks shared across a crowd, low murmurs, hushed endearments. It was something I had always known, even when I found myself in a relationship I knew wouldn’t last long, and it became even more apparent the more time I spent with the two of them.

I was lonely.

But Rod… Could I really see myself spending the rest of my life with him? With his horrible dad jokes and tendency to make concessions when he really shouldn’t, he was comfortable. Familiar. Safe. There was none of the energy and drama that I found in my other relationships, and I was worried not only that I might get bored but that he might find me to be too much. It was easy to joke around and bicker back and forth when we were friends, but a romantic relationship was different. The rules for our relationship wouldn’t be the same, and I wasn’t sure if the comfortable group we had all formed would survive an implosion if things went south.

There was too much on the line to risk it, but I also knew we couldn’t deal with four more days of this tension, and I sure as shit wouldn’t survive being alone with him for an entire week if we still had thisthingsitting unsettled between us. I let out a deep sigh of my own before patting Cameran’s hand. “It’s fine, Cam. I’ll talk to him.”

Her smile was wide and so hopeful that I didn’t have the heart to tell her that me and Rod just wouldn’t work.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Roderick

Iran my hands across my face before closing the locker door. The day had been long as hell, and it hadn’t helped that my brain was preoccupied with the tension that still existed between Sean and me. I’d been racking my brain for a way to bridge the gap that seemed to grow with each passing day, but no matter what scenario played out in my head, none of them seemed quite right. Clearly, my words before hadn’t gone over well, and I wasn’t willing to risk a chance that any subsequent words would go over even more poorly. I knew I had to play this right—otherwise, I might miss my shot before I even fully got to shoot it.

Then there was the fact that in four days, Sean and I would be alone on a weeklong drive together. I wasn’t quite sure if I should reach out to the hotels I’d already booked and ask for a second room or if he was comfortable staying with me. I had no problem shelling out additional money so he could be as comfortable as possible, but I also didn’t want him to think that I didn’t want to be around him. It was an enigma that left me frozen with indecision.

None of my other relationships had been this difficult, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the history between us or if I was trying to push something that should just be left alone.

“Hey, Rod. Are you okay, man?”

I turned as Brody walked into the room. His smile was wide as always, but I could see the concern in his eyes, and I knew I hadn’t hidden my thoughts as well as I thought I had. I fixed a smile on my face that I knew didn’t look quite genuine, but I didn’t need him to be worried about me, not when we both had our own issues to think about.

“Hey, yeah, I’m fine.” That was a lie, but I was hoping he wouldn’t call me on it. When I saw his smile slip slightly, I knew that hope had been in vain. Brody was one of those guys who had a heart of gold, and I felt bad lying to him. Anyone else and I probably wouldn’t care as much, but then again, if it was anyone else, they probably would not have noticed that I was down, to begin with.