Page 27 of Broken By Her Mate
Laila stirred awake, her eyes fluttering open. Sunlight peeped through the curtains, and she blinked against the brightness. She was engulfed in warmth—that was almost too hot, considering she hadn’t turned up the thermostat last night. Shifters didn’t need too much supplemental heat with their natural skill to regulate their body temperature. She tried to move but was held in place by something heavy draped across her stomach.
Blinking out of her drowsy haze, she realized it was a muscular arm—Tolliver’s arms wrapped protectively around her. For a moment, she basked in their closeness. It felt like old times, waking up in the morning wrapped in love, feeling safe. However, as she came fully awake and reality seeped in, she realized what a dangerous game she was playing.
The memories she had shoved aside to enjoy a night of bliss came rushing back: Tolliver’s abrupt departure, her disappointment and confusion, the pain... the hollow ache in her heart for years. Her chest tightened as panic clawed its way up her chest. Suddenly, Tolliver’s warmth and weight were suffocating.
She squirmed to get out of his hold, but the more she moved, the closer he pulled her to him and the tighter he held on. She found herself on top of him with her breasts crushed against his hard chest. She peered up at him, watching his eyes flutter open. The emerald pools instantly drew her in. She felt like she was drowning and didn’t want to be saved. Tolliver’s eyes were mesmerizing and lethal. She had to blink to stop herself from being hypnotized.
He gave her a sleepy smile that once melted her… Admittedly, it still did, much to her chagrin. She had to harden her resolve against kissing him and indulging in his body again. Tolliver stirred fully awake, his eyes becoming clear and alert. His smile brightened as he cupped her cheek to run his fingers reverently over her skin. She couldn’t even bask in his touch because she was too busy trying to quell the rising panic wreaking havoc on her mind.
Tolliver’s eyes searched hers, and his smile gradually faded. It was as if he could see her fear. He let out a soft breath that resonated with disappointment and let her go. Laila scrambled away from him to sit up, pulling the sheets with her to cover her nakedness. Tolliver sat up, rested his elbows on his knees, and scrubbed his face.
When he looked at her, his expression was twisted in agony. “Please don’t tell me you regret last night.”
Laila swallowed. “Tolliver…” Her voice wavered, laced with a plea. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now—the awkward morning after. Unfortunately, Tolliver was insistent that they talk about it.
“Come on, Laila. Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Last night was… It was amazing, but…”
“But you’re scared,” he murmured, watching her closely.
Her shoulders sagged with defeat. “Can you blame me?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I guess not.”
“I’m sorry.” Her gaze skated away from his. “I just can’t do this again.” Getting close to him, finding comfort in his arms,lovinghim… only for him to up and walk away again. She didn’t want to deal with the perpetual coldness she felt insidefor another five years. Actually, that hadn’t gone away over the years. She’d just learned to ignore it.
“You don’t have to apologize,” Tolliver said quietly.
She nibbled her lower, considering what else to say. Was she the only one stewing in the awkwardness of sitting in bed naked with her ex while they discussed their… issues? Yes, she was probably the only one feeling weird. Tolliver was blessed with the skill of not giving too many shits. He was likely comfortable in his nakedness and with the whole conversation.
She blew out a breath as her unease mounted. “So… I should… um…” She eased out of bed, eying him with uncertainty. Still clutching the sheet around her for dear life, she began backing toward the door, her gaze darting anywhere but at Tolliver. Her heart was racing for a hundred reasons. For one, he was staring at her steadily with his intense eyes. A part of her wanted to go back to him and melt into his embrace again, but a louder, more stubborn part reminded her why that was a terrible idea.
Lost in the discomfort of the situation, she wasn’t paying attention, and somehow, her feet got tangled in the sheet. With a loud gasp, she stumbled backward but didn’t hit the floor as she expected. Tolliver was at her side in an instant. He’d moved with such blurring speed, so she didn’t even realize he’d moved until his arms wrapped around her, and he set her back on her feet.
“Some things never change,” he said, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Still adorably clumsy after all these years.”
Her face heated up a thousand degrees. “I’m not clumsy,” she muttered as she tried to untangle herself. She had always been self-conscious about her penchant for being accident-prone. Wolf shifters were agile, and there was Laila… The mostungraceful shifter to walk the earth, in her opinion. “I’m just… spatially unfortunate.”
Tolliver folded his lips, and laughter shone in his eyes. “Sure, let’s go with that.”
Laila wanted to sink into the floor. Why couldn’t she pull off a sophisticated and cool walk away after hot sex for once in her life? She sniffed and squared her shoulders to hold on to at least a shred of dignity. “Anyway, I’m going to leave. I’ll… see you at breakfast, I guess.”
Tolliver lifted an eyebrow. “You do remember this is your room, right? So, I think I’m the one who should leave.”
Her blush deepened, and she looked away, clutching the sheet tighter around herself. “Right… well… you do that, then.”
One corner of Tolliver’s mouth twitched as if he was barely holding back laughter. Nodding, he snatched his clothes from the floor and headed to the door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob.
Turning back to her, he said, “I understand your fear, Laila. I know the way I left before was wrong, but I’m not going anywhere this time.” He gave her one of those hot once-overs that almost turned her into a useless puddle. “And I’m a patient man when it comes to getting what I want.” Then he was gone.
Laila stared at the door for a long while, her heart and mind working overtime. Her heart yearned for the connection she once had with her mate, but her brain kept reminding her of her sorrow when he walked away. Pulling in a deep breath to regain her composure, she headed into the bathroom. There was no time to wallow in the past or the uncertainty of the future. She had to get ready for the day, throw on her emotional armor, make breakfast, and somehow convince Tolliver to get her to go to Cedar Ridge.
When she got to the kitchen, Tolliver wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere in the cabin. She figured he was running. He liked to let his wolf out for a good run when he was on edge, and she figured he was after she shut him down this morning.
“Gods, what was I thinking sleeping with my ex?” she whispered as she vigorously stirred ingredients into a batter to make croissants. Tolliver loved her homemade croissants. At that thought, Laila sighed heavily. Why was she still catering to him as if they were still a thing? She kept subconsciously slipping back into girlfriend mode, doing things she used to do when they were a couple.
“I’m digging myself deep here. You need to be careful, Laila,” she grumbled.