Page 50 of Broken By Her Mate

She inhaled sharply, wanting to run away and hide from the conversation. “If you had really loved me, you wouldn’t have walked away from me.”

“I told you I thought—”

“How the hell could my boyfriend telling me he’s leaving me be the right thing? What on earth could make you think that Tolliver?”

He dropped her hand and averted his gaze, but she saw the flash of raw remorse in his eyes. That softened her a little. No matter how much he had hurt her in the past, he wasn’t a liar. “Fine,” she sighed. “I’ll hear you out.”

“I knew I wanted to work for the Black Ops since I was a kid,” he began. “It was the only way I could think of to help my people. After my parents…”

“I know,” she said softly. She knew his parents were murdered, and he still carried that pain even in adulthood. She didn’t want him to dredge up any of it on her account.

He exhaled slowly, releasing a bit of tension. “When I met you, I hadn’t changed my mind about what I wanted to do. Before I could tell you about my future plans, I learned what happened to your father and how much you hated the Black Ops.”

Laila gnawed at her lower lip. Of course, a part of her knew now that her hatred for the group was unfair. Her father had chosen that job and had loved it. Just like Tolliver, he wanted to help protect his kind and humans. When he died, she needed someone to blame, and the entity that was the Black Ops was the easiest thing to lay it on.

“I thought you’d reject my claim on you if you knew where I was headed,” he continued. “So, I lied and said I was going into politics like my father and grandfather.”

“Tolliver, that’s crazy. We wouldn’t have been any less mates if you told me about your aspirations. We’re bonded, and nothing can change that.”

“But you wouldn’t have wanted to be with me. We never would have moved in together or had three amazing years of happiness.”

She stared at him silently because maybe he was right. Perhaps she would have chosen not to start an intimate relationship with him. “I… I guess I would have been reluctant… I was afraid of losing anyone else the way I did my dad and my grandmother.”

Tolliver’s eyes softened, and he took her hands in his. “I know, so I lied to you, and I’m sorry. When I got accepted into the training program, passed, and was offered a job, I knew it would take a toll on our relationship. Plus, there was a chance I’d put you in danger. I didn’t want to choose…”

He shook his head. “Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. I thought you'd be unhappy once you found out about my position with the Black Ops. I knew you didn’t want a partner who would spend weeks, even months at a time on dangerous jobs. I didn’t want you living in fear and uncertainty like that, so I broke things off. I thought you’d be better off without me.”

Her hands trembled slightly in his as she gawked at him. His words stirred a whirlwind of emotions she could barely contain. Understanding flickered to life, but so did anger—a boiling fury that he could make such a huge decision for them both without even giving her a chance to weigh in. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she processed her emotions.

“You thought I’d bebetter off without you?” she said, her voice laced with incredulity. She pulled her hands out of his hold and took a step away from him. “Do you even hear how arrogant that sounds?”

“Laila—”

“No. You decided what was best for me without even asking me how I felt.”

His eyes were shadowed with remorse. “And I’ve regretted it every day since.”

She shook her head, frustration bubbling over. “You don’t get it! Yes, I probably would have been reluctant. Maybe I would have even said no to starting something serious back then. But at least it would have been my decision. At least I wouldn’t have spent years wondering why the man who was supposed to be my mate just left me like I didn’t mean anything.”

“You meant everything,” Tolliver said, getting up from his chair to step closer. However, he stopped short of touching her, for which she was grateful. If he so much as laid a finger on her, she’d crumble to pieces.

“You broke my heart,” she accused.

“I’m sorry, but you didn’t seem all that broken up when I told you I was leaving.” A muscle flexed in his jaw, and his eyebrows scrunched together. “Hell, you barely reacted. You told me to go.”

Her scoff echoed in the room. “So, you’re blaming me?”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I just mean… You pretty much pushed me through the door. I didn’t know I had hurt you that much. Your reaction confused me for years. It still does.”

“You are unbelievable,” she glowered at him. “Are you telling me that you wanted me to bawl my eyes out and beg you to stay? Maybe hold on to your leg like a desperate, lovesick puppy?”

“That’s not—”

“Screw you, Tolliver! I had my pride. You might have had the power to rip my heart to shreds, but hell if I would lose my dignity along with my heart.”

His shoulders sagged under the weight of her words. His jaw tightened as he absorbed the pain in her voice. The agony from what he had done shone in her eyes too, and he felt like the scum of the earth. “I thought I was protecting you,” he murmured. “But I see now that I didn’t protect you at all. I just… broke us.”

“Yeah,” she said bitterly, crossing her arms over her chest as if to shield herself from the memory. “You did.”