Page 5 of Knot Just for Show
“You’re not going to be able to hide fromshitwhen the camera crews are on you 24/7, my dear,” he clucks.
“Thanks for reminding me” I pout, returning the hand mirror on the kitchen table in favor of a broom to sweep up all my shorn hair.
“Don’t make such a sour face, La-la. I’m going to whip you up a few custom couture pieces that will bedivine—and Daphne and I will take you on a little makeover shopping spree before you have to get all packed. You’re going to lookin-cred-iblein every shot.” Julian air kisses me on either cheek, already pulling his keys from his pocket and moving toward the door.
“Julian—don’t tell Cos, but you may actually be my favorite of all my bestie’s mates.” I wink conspiratorially, giving my broom a shake.
“I will keep your secret, my dear, but I better get going. Magnus and Daphne will chew me out if I’m late for another event,” he calls over his shoulder, unfolding his sunglasses and placing them on his freckled face.
“Thanks again J, I don’t know what I’d do without another stylist friend to keep me sane.” I wave him off as I sweep my kitchen-turned-impromptu-salon.
“Oh, don’t thank me too much–I’ll be calling in babysitting favors along with the rest of Pack Silver as soon as the babies are here.”
Having grudgingly agreed to participate in this wholeBuild-A-Pack-Blindnonsense, I figure it is probably in my best interests to actuallywatcha season of the show, since I only have a vague idea of the program’s premise.
With a fair degree of trepidation, an extra large cup of hot cocoa containing miniature marshmallows, and the good ol’Penjamin Franklin—I snuggle into my bed and fire up the first episode of the premiere season.
The high concept of the show examines whether or not love and pack attraction are truly blind.
Certainly there’s plenty of evidence to support the fact that not all initial scent matches are definitive. I was cautioned, like every freshly designated omega, not to bond during my first heat—despite the biological imperative to do so. Our impulses can be incredibly powerful during heats and ruts—especially if we find our potential mates physically attractive.
Build-A-Pack-Blindseeks to answer the questions: what happens when you meet your potential packmates without seeing them? Withoutscentingthem? Can you begin to formbonds that will translate to a truer, more lasting pack harmony? Or is it just as risky as any other way to find your pack? To fall in love and create bonds as a new family unit?
Because I work in the business, I’m keen-eyed and skeptical as I watch the opening credits ofBuild-A-Pack-Blindroll.
Executive producer: Helen Berman-Wagner.
Hmph!
That explains it. Helen Berman-Wagner isn’t just one of the most high-powered women in the history of Hollywood; she just so happens to be Magnus Wagner’s stepmother.
Helen married Magnus’ father and Danish diplomat Alfred Wagner in the years after the passing of Magnus’ birth mother. Ironic, that Alfred should marry one of the most powerful television mavens in Los Angeles after his son, the famous Hollywood director introduced them at an industry gala.
Suddenly it makes sense as to how Daphne and her co-conspirators were able to get me onto the show. Doesn’t take that much doing when your goddamn mother-in-law is the executive producer.
I’m surprised, and more than a little excited to see that the show’s creator is none other than Tori Davenport.
Davenport was first famous for her pioneering dating reality showMaking the Packand the groundbreakingSeeking Our Omega.
Making the Packhad made some waves as one of the first ‘original’ reality series to hit major streaming services in the post-cable-television era. Much as the name suggests, the premise of the show centers around one omega (or sometimes two in later seasons) whittling their way through massive amounts of suitors, until they feel as if they have eliminated all of the extraneous entrants—and are ready to bond as a newly founded pack. It never really sucked me in, so I never got into the show.
Seeking our Omega, on the other hand, was a totally different story. I was only halfway through high school and not yet designated as an omega when the first season ofSeeking our Omegaaired on television. I had been hopelessly addicted from the very first moments of the premiere episode whenPack Ortonwas introduced—ready and raring to meet their omega.
As a teen and young adult, I found all the fantastical dates between beautiful people to be a romantic escape from my daily life. One I welcomed every Thursday night after I had finished my homework. I’m embarrassed to admit, I kept watchingSeeking Our Omegafor almost seven seasons. It wasn’t until I got my first roommate here in LA that I stopped the tradition.
I guess, once I started getting older—still single and pretending that I wasn’t lonely—it became harder and harder to enjoy the show as I had when I was younger and more optimistic about my own romantic future.
I mean, I did end up here in this mess; watching the first episode of a reality dating show that I am about to become a contestant on in a few short weeks.
The rest of the opening credits reel pass without incident, backed by upbeat pop music and establishing shots of an unfamiliar city skyline. Thus far I don’t really know anyone directly involved with production, so that was somewhat of a blessing. Of course, I’d have to watch the closing to be sure. It would be much easier to be on the show without familiar faces on the crew.
After the credits and the title card, we are finally introduced to the show’s hosts, Pack Milton.
I couldn’t help but let loose a little embarrassed laugh. I had completely forgotten about Anna Jones. Well, Anna JonesMiltonnow, technically. She had been a pretty famous primetime teen drama actress back whenMuffy and the Biker Cheerleaders from Marswas one of the hottest shows ontelevision, but had already been considered a D-Lister omega by the time she was bitten into Pack Milton; a one-time boy band that had enjoyed a brief stint on the top 40 charts with the lead single fromMuffy and the Biker Cheerleaders from Mars: THE MOVIE.
Of course, I can’t look down my nose at anyone. I’ve never even been anything more than kind-of-sort-of-social-media-famous, largely because I am best friends with Hollywood’s current ‘It Girl’.
Anna Jones, along with her mates Steven, George and Paul Milton are all likely more famous than I will ever be, but it doesn’t change the fact that I haven’t thought about them since I had to check the TV guide to see whenMuffywas on.