Page 7 of Intimate

I’ve always favored orgasm control as a way to discipline and punish submissives. I’ve never leaned towards the more corporal aspects of the lifestyle’s punishment regimes. In fact, if you came to me for personal training, I’d control your orgasms as a way of instilling obedience in you to follow my every command.

How would you handle that, do you think?

Does the thought of submitting yourself for training by a Master arouse you?

Could you imagine what it might be like?

Whilst I don’t live the lifestyle anymore, and I haven’t for quite some time, I admit there are still moments in my life when I miss the interplay and dynamic that stems from a BDSM relationship.

Let’s explore this, you and I. Let’s have a quiet little discussion about why so many women find the idea of submitting sexually to a man appealing. I’d like to know your thoughts. I’d like to get a better understanding of what makes a woman want to submit and surrender her body willingly to a man.

What do you think? Is the fascination born from boredom with a man who is an inept lover… or is it some deeper sensory instinct – an urge to simply feel more feminine, more desired in the bedroom?

Is submission something you have ever actively considered… has the idea ever crept into your sexual fantasies?

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to surrender your mind, body and soul to a man?

You would look so very pretty wearing a collar.

Do you know that? Well you would.

Not anything bulky; nothing brash or overstated, that just wouldn’t suit you, and I doubt it’s your style any more than it is mine. No, for you the collar I’d select would be something very elegant – a piece that stated simply that you were owned… something you could wear every day and night as a secret reminder.

I do apologize if I am being too confronting. I have a habit of doing that, you know, so please forgive me. I tend to ask very direct and sometimes personal questions. I don’t mean to – I simply have a genuine curiosity about other people and I rarely have the time for idle chatter, so my questions tend to be pointed – probing.

You don’t have to say anything. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, not when we have spent such a lovely time in each other’s company. I don’t want to ruin this time by making you feel awkward.

Well… okay, maybe I want you to feel a little awkward. I mean that’s a good thing right? You know you are alive when you’re taken just a little ways outside of your comfort zone.

It is a good thing.

So go with it…

* * *

Not all of my stories I want to share with you are about women I had sex with… although they are all about women… and sex…

You see there was this one woman I met named Karen. I never had sex with her, but we did have a frank and animated conversation – the kind of chat that anyone overhearing would have felt uncomfortable listening to.

We met at a local café and at the time Karen was probably thirty-five? Maybe thirty-seven…

Anyhow, we had been introduced through a mutual friend. I was still on my search for a compatible submissive woman with whom I could form a long-term relationship, and Karen was an experienced submissive who had just come out of a long-term relationship.

She was a slim-built woman with auburn hair.

Auburn… do people still say that – or do they say reddish-brown? I’m not sure, but you get the picture.

She had a tattoo of handcuffs on the inside of her right wrist and a thin strip of leather, knotted tight around her throat. She was wearing a long flowing loose-fitting dress and walking funny.

Yeah, really. It wasn’t quite a limp. It was more of a pained, uncomfortable gait. I shook her hand when she came through the front door of the café, and we sat together in a corner booth. Once the waitress had gone, we started chatting about all those forgettable things that are small-talk until I asked her about her experiences in the lifestyle as a submissive woman.

Karen had seen every aspect of a submissive’s life – the highlights and the lowlights. Her most recent Master had put her in a car with several men and given them all permission to fuck her during a long drive home. Apparently, half-way to their destination she fled from the car, humiliated and furious at the way her man had treated her… and that was the end of their relationship.

Other Masters she had served had been more considerate – too considerate apparently. The fine line between contentment and frustration was very fine indeed. I got the impression that Karen was looking for someone who would be firm, but without using pain as punishment.

And then a bizarre thing happened.

We started negotiating her submission to me.

I say bizarre because at the time it was. Now, with hindsight and more experience, I realize that Karen was a thoughtful, experienced submissive who knew what she wanted from a relationship. She wasn’t going to go willingly to just any man who showed an interest; this was her submission she was offering and she wanted to be sure the man she surrendered to was worthy.

Smart lady.

But at the time it was like we were negotiating the sale of a house. The entire conversation was about likes, dislikes, and what we could accept. We tried to find middle ground. We chatted in an amiable way but Karen had a list – yes an actual handwritten list – of all the things she wanted to know from her potential Masters… how punishments would be handed out, what she would be expected to wear, how she would be required to behave in certain situations, as well as some specific hard limits.

I, on the other hand, was a little more instinctive. I didn’t see the point in contracts or agreements because the relationship – like every other relationship – would always hinge on a majority vote of one. If either person was unhappy or unsatisfied, the relationship just didn’t work, and that seemed particularly true in the BDSM lifestyle.

Anyhow, the waitress started hanging around a little more often and a little longer than was necessary. I’m sure she had overheard some aspects of our conversation and had become intrigued.

Karen sensed it too. She flashed the young woman a venomous glare and declared to me in a voice that was louder than necessary:

“I’m sorry. You probably noticed I was limping when I arrived, and since then I’ve had a hard time sitting still. It’s because I had my clitoris pierced a couple of days ago and it’s still tender.”

I shit you not! That’s what she said in the middle of the café on a busy Saturday morning.

The waitress disappeared and we did not see her again.

Karen wore the leather strap around her neck for a specific reason. She said it was a subtle message to others in the lifestyle that she was submissive but without a Master. It was a subtle message. If she hadn’t told me, I, for one, would never have made the connection.

When it came down to it, Karen knew a lot more about BDSM than I probably ever will.

I have never been an expert on the lifestyle.

Never.

Karen knew the ‘craft’ of the lifestyle, and regularly attended social gatherings with likeminded people. I, on the other hand, had never mixed with others who enjoyed BDSM. I’d always done

my own thing, made my own rules and I was perfectly happy that way. I didn’t feel I needed to mix with others on a social level. What I was doing worked for me and the ladies I trained, and I needed nothing more. I never have.

There’s no right or wrong way to engage in BDSM play. As long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual… well you’ve probably heard the expression before…

Anyhow, I’m getting distracted. Sorry, my mind does that sometimes. My thoughts go off in a direction and my mouth follows. The point of telling you about Karen is this: she was a confident in-control woman who enjoyed the submissive lifestyle, without compromising her wants and needs. I respected her for that. To some men I am sure her confidence and knowledge would have been intimidating.

At last! Now I’m finally coming to my point…

Think about your own life. Maybe you’re in a relationship with a man and you would love to explore the BDSM lifestyle with him – but you can’t understand why he is so reluctant.

Sound familiar…?

Believe me when I tell you that a guy’s sexual confidence hangs by a thin thread. You’ve been reading about the BDSM lifestyle. You know the language and maybe some of the sexual positions and aspects of submission too.

Compared to your man, you’re well-researched.

Your guy, on the other hand, most likely knows little or nothing at all about BDSM.

That’s damned intimidating for a guy. What if he makes a fool of himself in front of you?

What if he doesn’t measure up in your eyes to the epic performances of all those erotic romance heroes you read about?

A lot of women assume a dominant, confident attitude to sex is something every man automatically inherits. They don’t.

Just because a man can hammer in a nail, does not mean he’s qualified as a carpenter.

* * *

I know what you’re doing.

You’re sitting, listening to me, but in the background, beneath the sound of my voice, your mind is playing back over our conversation and you’re wondering if anything I have said contained some deeper, more significant meaning, right?