Page 31 of Promise Me Love

She opened her eyes to tell him to forget all about the idea, then stopped abruptly when she saw that he had got up to stand by the window. The night had drawn in so that the glass took on the appearance of a darkened mirror, throwing David’s reflection back into the room. Beth sat quite still, watching the fleeting emotions which crossed his face. Pain, regret and a deep, deep sorrow all showed so sharply that she felt like an intruder witnessing so many private emotions, but when he turned back to look at her the mask was once more back in place.

‘If you want to be the child’s godmother then that’s up to you, Beth. It’s your decision to make.’

‘But is it what you want?’ Suddenly she knew she had to be sure how he felt.

He smiled faintly, his mouth curving upwards, yet his eyes remained strangely blank. ‘Maybe it isn’t a question of what I want any longer, but more a question of what is right.’

‘You’re talking about the quarrel with your brother. Maggie wouldn’t tell me anything about it. She said I must ask you.’

‘Perhaps I will tell you one day, Beth. But not right now. Let’s take it all one step at a time, shall we? When is this christening to be?’

He wouldn’t tell her. Beth felt a deep regret she could barely hide at his refusal to share the secret with her. ‘A week’s time, at the church in the village where you and Matthew used to live. Evidently they are staying at your old home until the tenants who rented their house leave. Maggie has asked if we’ll go down and stay for the weekend, but that’s up to you. If you’d prefer not to do that, it’s fine by me.’

‘Why not?’ He smiled harshly, his grey eyes betraying nothing of what he was really feeling. Beth experienced the most ridiculous urge to do something to shake him, to make him tell her what he was thinking, but that was something she wouldn’t do again, not after the last disastrous time.

‘Are you sure? We can just go on the Sunday if it would make things easier?’

‘Stop worrying about it. I’ve agreed to go, so leave it at that.’

‘How can I when I don’t know how you really feel? I’m worried about you getting hurt, David!’ The words came out before she could stop them and he stilled at once, searching her face. Then slowly he came towards her and took her hands to draw her to her feet and hold her close in his arms, so close that she could feel the heavy thud of his heart against her breast, feel the long, strong line of his thighs against her own. She closed her eyes, leaning against him, shaken to the core by the wild surge of sensation which shot through her at his touch.

He set her from him, his hands resting at the back of her waist as he stared down into her face. ‘Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we changed the rules a bit?’

Her breath felt tight, her heart pounding. It was the way he was looking at her: he had never looked at her like that before, looked at her the way a man looks at a woman he wants.

‘I…I don’t know what you mean.’

Her voice was a husky whisper and he smiled gently. ‘The rules of this marriage of ours. Have you never wondered what it would be like if it wasn’t just a sham, but real?’

‘No.’ It was a lie and she knew at once that he understood that, and flushed wildly.

‘No?’

She didn’t know if she liked being teased this way and pushed against his chest, but he refused to let her go. She glared up at him, all too aware that her heart was beating like a drum and even more conscious that he must be able to feel it. ‘What’s got into you, David? Is this some sort of a game? Because if it is then I don’t like it!’

‘It isn’t a game. I’m quite serious. What is to stop us from making this marriage into a real one?’

‘What’s to stop us?’ Bitterness welled inside her. ‘Have you forgotten already why you married me? I might have lost the baby, David, but that was the reason why it came about in the first place, and I haven’t forgotten that even if you have!’

‘I haven’t forgotten anything. Not the baby or Andrew.’ He let her go abruptly and walked over to the desk to pick up a silver paper-knife. ‘However, you can’t spend the rest of your life pining for what might have been. We could have a good life together, Beth. We could even have a child of our own if you wanted.’