Page 66 of Kayla's Cowboy
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KAYLA SET OFF with Alex and waited for him to say something.
“Mom, DeeDee just asked me something strange,” he said after they’d walked several blocks. “She wanted to know if I felt left out when I found out about being adopted.”
“Did you?” she asked.
“No, I was mostly mad because no one told me. DeeDee says maybe I’m lucky to have Jackson, but I don’t feel lucky.”
“You might, someday.”
“I dunno, but I thought you should know about DeeDee. Something’s bugging her.” Alex turned and watched a passing truck, his face more grown-up and sad than she’d ever seen it. “I miss the way we used to be, back before Dad split.”
Kayla let out a painful breath, wishing there was some way to make things easier. “So do I. There’s no going back, but that doesn’t mean the future can’t also be good.”
“I guess not.”
They returned to the Garrison house in silence while Kayla fretted about her daughter. DeeDee was the one who usually charged ahead, with less introspection. She cared, but she moved so fast she didn’t always slow down to think things through. But what she’d said to her brother made Kayla want to kick herself. She’d worried so much about Alex and her mixed feelings about Jackson that she might have missed something with DeeDee.
After dinner, she went up to the attic bedroom and sat on the bed with her daughter. “Alex told me you asked about how he felt about your dad adopting him.”
DeeDee rolled onto her stomach. “I just wondered.”
“Any special reason?”
“Nah, just curious.”
“Maybe it’s more than that. How are you feeling about everything here in Montana? I mean, we’ve gone to a family picnic where Alex met his birth father’s parents. We spend time at the ranch where he has a sister who isn’t directly related to you. And tomorrow afternoon we’re having a gathering where he’ll meet aunts and uncles and other family.”
DeeDee squirmed around to kick off her sneakers and scratch her toe. Kayla waited. It was unusual for her daughter to think first and talk second, but both her kids had been doing unusual things lately.
“Uh...” DeeDee said finally. “It’s like...Alex has a whole new chance to have a dad who cares about him instead of our dad, who’s a jerk a bunch of the time.”
A jerk? Kayla flinched. She’d suspected DeeDee was angry with her father but had never heard her call him names. “Is that how you think of your father?”
“Sometimes.” The word was mumbled. “He spends all his time with Brant, the way he did with Rosa and Willie before that. He only cares about us when he doesn’t have someone new around.”
After she spoke, DeeDee buried her face in her pillow.
Kayla’s throat ached with suppressed emotion. She couldn’t deny that Curtis was a troubled person. Lately she’d begun wondering if it was because of his years as a foster child. He’d been one of those kids who regularly got moved from place to place. At each new home he would court the new family, trying to ingratiate himself so this time he wouldn’t be sent away. Maybe after a while it had become a game. He’d expected to leave after a certain amount of time and had started anticipating what he would need to do at the next place to make them like him. That kind of childhood wouldn’t prepare anyone for staying in a long-term relationship.
“Your dad loves you, DeeDee,” she assured gently. “He just gets easily distracted by problems that have nothing to do with you or Alex.”
DeeDee looked unhappy for a moment, then shrugged as if she’d tucked the feeling away. “Okay.”
“So what about everything here in Montana? How do you feel about that?”
“Uh...well, Morgan is awesome, but I’m just the little kid who tags along. And even though the McGregors are nice to me, it’s Alex they want to know. Maybe Jackson’s family will think I shouldn’t be at the party tomorrow night.”
Hell. Belatedly Kayla realized she should have expected something of the sort. Her daughter was strong and bold, but no one was invulnerable.
“I think the McGregors will be happy you’re there,” she said. “They’re a nice family and probably want to meet the people Alex cares about.”
“I guess.”
“And as for Morgan and Alex, you know I never had any brothers or sisters. But I’m sure older kids do enjoy spending time on their own, the same way you sometimes enjoy being with Keri and not having Alex around, right?”
“Keri says her big sister is always calling her a squirt—just like Alex calls me—and tells her to get lost.”