Page 92 of Kayla's Cowboy
“So what’s up?” she asked as they sat.
He seemed ill at ease. “This isn’t the ideal spot for what I wanted to discuss, but I was wondering if you really have to return to Seattle.”
Kayla blinked. “I know you don’t want to see Alex leave—some of the barriers are coming down and you’re getting more comfortable—but the kids need to be in a stable routine before school starts. Our life is in the city.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he returned quickly. “I was thinking we could try to be...together.”
She stared, her anger growing. “Yeah, it’s always been my dream to be with a guy who doesn’t trust women and simply wants to keep his son in Montana,” she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “And it’s such a terrific idea, give up everything I’ve worked for so that you, as a man, can have what you want.”
“Damn.” Jackson ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t say it right. This isn’t about Alex. I was trying to say that I love you.”
Kayla reined in her temper. “That’s hard to believe. You’ve been up front until now, admitting you don’t ever want to get seriously involved again. What am I supposed to do, keep my door open so you can stop by for sex once in a while? Or are we supposed to try living together while Schuyler takes bets on how long it will be before you start dating again?”
His jaw hardened. “No. I’m asking you to marry me, and I happen to believe in fidelity.”
“Oh, now I’m supposed to accept you’ve suddenly changed your mind and think marriage is a good thing.”
“Did you notice that I said I loved you?”
“They’re just words, Jackson. Even if you are serious, it would never work—we both have too many issues with trust. You ought to be satisfied that Alex is willing to spend time with you. That’s a big enough accomplishment for the summer.”
He leaned forward, looking so sincere that her heart flipped over. “I do trust you, and I love you more than I ever thought possible.”
Kayla closed her eyes to shut him out. It was the kind of thing she’d once dreamed of him saying, except that she was a different person now, with children to protect. She couldn’t take a chance on believing him.
“Kayla, I know you’ve been hurt, and God knows I was one of the people who was a part of that,” Jackson pressed. “But we’ve both gone through fire to get where we are today. I finally know how precious being with the right person can be. We can make a future for each other if you just give me another chance.”
Suddenly she swung her legs out of the booth and stood up. “This is pointless, Jackson. I’m heading back to Washington in the morning. We’ll come to Schuyler occasionally, and you can visit Alex in Seattle, if that’s what you want. But I’m not going to sit here and listen to nonsense.”
With her head held high, Kayla walked toward the front of the restaurant. She was not, repeat, not going to cry. She’d survived a broken heart once. She could do it again.
* * *
DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, Jackson cursed silently.
Was there any way he could have managed a more pathetic marriage proposal?
All at once irony struck him. Though he’d once been married, this was actually his first proposal. The arrangements for his marriage to Marcy had been exactly that—arrangements. He’d accepted responsibility for having fathered a child and had married Marcy because that was the way his family did things.
“Did you want to order anything, Jackson?” asked a woman’s voice, breaking into his thoughts.
He threw a twenty on the table. “Sorry, Lisette, I’m not eating after all.”
Her smile grew more intimate. “I get off soon. How about making a night of it?”
“Thanks, but no.”
Lord, what a difference one summer had made. There’d been a time when he wouldn’t have turned down the invitation. Lisette was relatively new in town and they’d gotten together once or twice. She liked hot, fast sex and wasn’t particular about where she got it.
But now all Jackson could think about was the auburn-haired beauty he’d lost once as a callow teenager and stood in danger of losing again, when it mattered most.
He strode out to his truck. There was no way in hell he was giving up, though he’d have to consider what his next move should be. He was in love with Kayla and was certain they could have a future together. The problem was getting her to see it, too.
But as he climbed behind the wheel, ice condensed in his gut and he stared at the remnants of the sunset. He loved Kayla so much that the thought of living without her was hardly bearable, but he couldn’t force her to trust him, or to love him back.