Page 48 of Someone to Love

‘Hi,’ he said, ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’

These were harmless words, right? Koyal wondered. And yet, coming from Atharv, they hurt.

‘I came for Mansha’s birthday,’ she said as if she owed him an explanation. ‘I’m leaving now…’

Atharv said nothing.

‘I … um … wanted to speak with you.’

‘What about?’ Atharv looked surprised.

‘Mansha.’

‘Mmm-hmm?’

‘Okay, so you are Mansha’s parent and I probably have no right to say anything in any matter related to her, yet I don’t think I can keep shut here. It was her goddam birthday today, Atharv. She turned seven.’ Koyal was now gesticulating wildly with her hands. ‘All a little girl wants is for her father to be around. Why didn’t you turn up? Why couldn’t anyone else have done the surgery? Can you even imagine how Mansha must have felt?’

Koyal paused, breathless and hot with anger.

Atharv was staring at her, his face expressionless.

‘And, while we are at it, that girl is miserable. Do you know why? Because she doesn’t remember her own mother! When you lose someone you love, all you have is the memories. How can you not share her memories of her mother, Atharv? You have to create them for her! She needs them to help her through the tough times. You need to speak to her more often, be with her, spend time with her, tell her about Nili…’ Koyal exhaled deeply when she was done with her rant, still feeling very indignant. It was when she now looked at Atharv’s face that Koyal wondered if she had overstepped a line.

Atharv, eyes hard and narrowed, took a step closer to Koyal and she found herself stepping back. Something about him scared her now.

‘You are right,’ he said in a low growl and Koyal stared.

‘Eh?’

‘I am the parent, not you.’

Koyal blinked at Atharv.

‘Don’t you dare interfere again in my personal matters, Koyal Hansini Raje, don’t you dare. Just stay away from us.’ He turned and walked away.

24

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned into months. Winter gave way to spring, and London changed colours again. The grey and the black gave way to a million little flowers that cropped up in every nook and cranny. The sunshine, bright and happy, doused everything in joyful yellow.

Koyal drowned herself in work, the only way she knew of keeping her mind off those words.

Atharv’s words from the night of Mansha’s party refused to leave Koyal for a long time. They reverberated in her head and made it their home. In the tube, at a party, all she could do was think of what Atharv had said to her.

He wanted her out of his life.

Koyal wondered why these words hurt as much as they did. Didn’t she already have a very low opinion of Atharv? Why then was she so surprised by his harshness, she wondered, and never got an answer.

Meanwhile, she cut off all contact with both Mansha and Surya Aunty. They called and texted. And Koyal made excuses about being very busy so she didn’t have to meet either of the women in Atharv’s life.

If he wants me out, out I shall remain, she said to herself, biting back tears.

Later, whenever Atharv thought of that morning, the early spring flowers would, oddly enough, come to mind first. He was still in his scrubs and as he stepped out of the OT, he had peeped out of the window to admire the white blooms when his PA, Jane, came rushing to him.

‘Mansha!’ she exclaimed, her face pale with anxiety. ‘She fell off the swings at school and has hurt herself. The school called sometime back … you were in surgery and I couldn’t get hold of your mother…’

Atharv looked at his watch – he had been in the OT for seven hours.

‘What kind of injury?’