Page 42 of Can This Be Love?

All my friends here know about you, the girl I love. The girl who is so angry with me – rightfully so – that she will not even read my emails.

Yesterday I went to Richmond Park for an early-morning run. During the two hours that I ran, all I thought of was how much you would have liked it. Sometimes I do this, you know, wonder about what your favourite places in London would have been had you been here with me. Anyway, so coming back to the park … I know without any doubt that you would have loved it! There are deer everywhere, sitting in groups … and oddly enough they remind me so much of you.

I know what you are thinking … What? Deer remind him of me!

Well, their gorgeous, kohl rimmed eyes did for sure. Your eyes are beautiful, Kas, very beautiful. Alive and always dancing with mischief. Sometimes I wonder when it was that I really and truly fell in love with you … neither a particular time nor a particular incident comes to mind … just your eyes … dancing with mirth, dark with anger, alive with mischief … always so full of expression. I have been thinking about them since yesterday.

I always miss you, Kasturi, but today … even more so…

Rajeev.

1.00 p.m.

I need to talk to someone.

Pitajee is not answering his phone and I have just left him my sixth voicemail telling him that I need to:

a) know what is happening with him and Anu.

b) tell him something important.

I don’t have a good feeling about any of this.

2.00 p.m.

What am I thinking?

Indira Gandhi Airport, Car Park, Midnight.

Pitajee sat stone-still, his usually smiling face devoid of any expression. I had just picked him up at the airport and we were now sitting slumped in the car. I had not even bothered to turn on the ignition.

‘Say that again,’ I repeated, aghast.

‘Anu is getting engaged to Saumen Dutta tomorrow. I tried to talk her out of it, but she is too worried about Govind’s heart to … to…’

I put a reassuring hand on Pitajee’s shoulders. ‘I don’t understand it Kasturi … why … why can’t she just say no?

‘Pitajee,’ I said, helplessly.

‘You know what, Kas, I’m done with Anu … it’s all over.’

I turned my head sideways to stare open-mouthed at Pitajee. There was an air of resolute determination about him that scared the wits out of me.

‘Have you lost it, Pitajee?’ I said, not willing to believe him. Anu and Pitajee are meant to be together … theirs was one story that had to have a happy ending. Had to.

‘It’s over, Kasturi. It’s all over … I don’t understand Anu’s behaviour but it’s over,’ he said, shaking his head as if he could not quite believe it himself.

There was silence in the car for a few moments.

‘I need to tell you something too,’ I said meekly, already afraid of how he was going to react. I had spent many hours thinking this through and finally knew what I wanted to do.

‘Go on?’ he said, raising his eyebrows.

I gulped.

‘I cannot marry Purva,’ I said, jutting out my chin, obstinately. It was Pitajee’s turn to now stare at me aghast.

‘Are you kidding me?’ he said, shocked.