Page 6 of Despair

Just like that, he conjured a picture of her face, her gorgeous face with violet eyes full of pain he wanted to soothe. And then another memory surfaced. One he hated to think about—Daisy lying naked on a gurney, curled into herself. The room was cold, gray and empty. Spinal fluid extraction had bruised her spine. Her ribs stood out in sharp relief. Her long, silver hair was oily and matted. The Syndicate tortured her endlessly and Axel couldn’t find any reason, including Elena’s new life, a good enough excuse for that.

Since helping rescue her, the beautiful woman was in his dreams nightly. There was something about her that messed with his plans, his sanity. For her, he’d given up his chance at saving Elena. But he hadn’t given up hope. If he had some, there was life.

An explosion somewhere in the distance didn’t surprise him. Neither did the new flurry of sirens. His last shift had included a rescue with the jaws of life, two burning buildings, and a chemical situation on Sixth. All of it deliberately started. His grip tightened around his gun and the plant, and he quickened his step.

When Axel arrived at his Brownstone, he vaulted the steps two at a time and let himself in. Elena was on the couch, huddled into her blanket with a beanie on her bald head, watching something on her laptop. A lollypop stick bobbed in her mouth. Axel rolled his eyes and put his Glock and daisies next to the wilted ivy on the table near the door. He frowned at the condition of the ivy. Unlike the old lady’s, this one was neglected.

It hurt to see.

Elena used to enjoy taking care of the house plants. Sometime over the past few weeks she’d stopped watering them.

“That better not be your dinner, Ellie,” he said as he walked into the kitchen.

The bobbing lollypop froze. She looked at him with guilt written over her face. She seemed to think about apologizing, but then shrugged and went back to her screen and coloring. She probably hadn’t moved all day.

She was in her final year of high school, but it had been shut down since the bridges blew. If she wanted to make it to Pre-Med, then she had to do better. She should be studying, or at the very least moving about and eating better. If their mother or father were here, they’d be furious—muitopistola.

And they’d blame it all on him.

He strode over and yanked the stick out of her mouth. She drooled when he stole it and wiped her mouth with a scowl.

“For someone who wants to be a doctor, you’re making poor health choices,” he grumbled.

Something dark flashed in her gaze and she snapped, “You know I’ll never get there. Stop saying shit like that. I don’t even know if I like medicine, anyway.”

“Never say never,” he shot back, then strode around the living room to look for her scarf. He couldn’t give up, because if he did, then she would give up. “Pack your things, we’re going out.”

“We are?” Interest sparked in her dull eyes, and she straightened. “But it’s dangerous out there.”

“We’re alive. We’re still breathing. It can always be worse, you know that.”

“We’re really going out?” Her excitement made him realize she’d needed this. While he might be strong and confident enough to walk the streets without getting hurt, she was just a skinny, weak teenager with dark circles under her eyes. She’d needed him home and he’d been so caught up with finding a solution to her illness, that he’d missed the most important thing of all—her.

“You need fresh air,” he said. “A walk will do you good. If you’ve had your meds and feel okay, I’ll take care of the rest.”

He checked his reflection in the empty oven. Bit tired around the edges but his hair looked good. Always had. He sniffed near his underarms and nodded. Smelled okay. He’d showered before he left the station, and the walk hadn’t made him too sweaty.

He should probably grab a bite to eat. He pivoted and came face to face with his sister. She smirked up at him.

“A walk will do me good, eh?” she teased.

He blinked. “Don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“Who are we seeing?”

“No one. I thought we could go to the batting cages.”

Stupid, hasty coverup but it worked. They needed a bit of fun to take their mind off the abysmal. He side-stepped her and opened the fridge. Awful. No wonder Elena had deferred to candy. Goddamn it, he knew that double shift would come back to bite him. He slammed the fridge shut. A photograph wobbled on the door. The picture was of his parents the day they journeyed to America. Axel was eight. Elena was just a bump in his mother’s stomach. They’d figured if they made it across the border, and Elena was born here, then no one had the right to remove her. And they were right, to a point. For five years they’d lived happily in Cardinal City. No one expected them to fall sick. No one expected Axel to be left as sole guardian to his sister. And no one expected her to get sick too.

Bad luck had followed his family for generations. His mama used to say they were cursed. He kissed his fingers and touched the picture reverently. He didn’t believe in curses. He didn’t believe in luck. But he did believe the moment you gave up, everything ended.

“It wouldn’t happen to be your pretty lady friend, would it?” Elena asked, still smiling. “You know, the one you helped rescue?”

“Ellie…”

Two days ago, he’d spilled the beans to her about Daisy and his misguided time as a Faithful. But he hadn’t told her the whole truth. He’d said he worked for extra money to pay her medical bills. She knew nothing about his deal to have her cloned, or the full extent of his dangerous and sometimes cruel nighttime escapades—that he’d killed people, maybe innocent people. He slammed the door on that guilt, and on Elena’s questioning gaze.

“Aw, come on, Axel. You’re not going to deprive me of this. I could drop dead any day and knowing you’ve got some lady in the wings will—”