Page 22 of Tethered Hearts

She nodded. “I had breast cancer several years ago. I’m clear now.” Her thoughts turned to the reminder letter stuck to her refrigerator, and the appointment she still hadn’t made. The little niggle of doubt gnawing away in the back of her mind. She didn’t want to think about that right now. Not when she was enjoying an afternoon filled with cupcakes and coffee. And a handsome man.

“You had cancer,” Matt repeated.

“Yes.”

“And yet, you’re still so …” Shaking his head, he waved a hand toward her. “Happy.”

Toying with the hem of her shirt, Brie’s cheeks warmed beneath his scrutiny. She had every reason to be happy. After all, she was eternally grateful for the extra time God had given her, and as long as she still had breath in her lungs, she was determined to make the most of each day. Sure, she still had low moments, and moments of doubt, that was part of being human. But by God’s grace, she had a reason to live and be glad and give each day her all.

“It’s more than that, though,” Matt said. “I picked up on it at the clinic when I first met you. You have this …” He waved his hand around, as though he might be able to pluck the right word out of the air. “You have this thing inside you. I don’t know how else to describe it. You remind me of my aunt in that you have this joy or peace, or something, that just exudes from you and makes people, well, me at least, feel at ease.”

“Oh,” Brie murmured, her face suddenly feeling warmer. Compliments from Matt? This conversation was veering toward unknown territory, and she felt like she might lose her footing and fall heart-first into something with the handsome man sitting across from her if she wasn’t careful. Perhaps she should’ve left earlier when she had the chance.

“I mean, you have every right to be bitter with the world. You had cancer, for crying out loud! And yet, you’re still so happy.”

Brie drew a deep breath, one hand running over Winston’s fur to calm her tremulous nerves as Matt’s words, laced with anguish, swirled around them. What could she say?

Lord, please give me the right words to say. This is all about You. This is not about my burgeoning feelings for Matt that I don’t have the time to process or even want to consider right now. This is an opportunity to show Your love to a hurting man, and I don’t want to stuff it up.

“It’s not me.” Folding her hands on her lap, Brie leaned back against the chair and eyed Matt. “Honestly, it’s all God’s doing. Since my diagnosis, I realised what really matters in life. God became my strength and my hope. When my future was uncertain, He was the one thing I could trust to remain true and carry me through. Without Him …” Shaking her head, she trailed off.

“My aunt said the same thing.”

“And she’d be right.” Brie smiled softly. She didn’t know how people endured hardships without God. Despite all of her uncertainties, she’d experienced a peace like nothing else.

“But it worked out well for you, didn’t it? All that prayer stuff. You’re okay now. I mean, you still get to do the things you love. You still have a job and get to climb mountains as a hobby. Heck, you can even walk your dog anytime you want to. If I even attempted that, I’d get tangled in the lead and fall flat on my face. Prayer is really just a roulette of wishes, isn’t it? It’s taking a gamble. Speak some words and hope something will change. But what if it didn’t work out for you? What if you were terminal? What if …?”

Brie flinched as Matt’s fist slammed against the table, sloshing some coffee out of her cup. His features were stone, and his chest heaved as though he were fighting an internal war to break free from the frustration and anger and disappointment that held him captive.

She’d asked herself the same what-if questions many times over. What if the surgeon hadn’t been able to remove the tumour? What if she’d been given an expiration date? Would she still be so grateful and have the ability to find joy in each day? She hoped her answer would still be yes. Her diagnosis had brought her back into her Father’s arms, and her joy went beyond her circumstances to embrace all her Heavenly Father had done for her.

God worked in ways far beyond her comprehension. There were no guarantees that everything would work out. And yet, she still believed He was good and sovereign. He worked all things for His glory, and because of that, she could live in the glorious freedom of His grace, which meant living a life filled with joy and gratitude, because at the end of the day, it was all about His purpose and His plan.

Clearing her throat, Brie ran a thumbnail along the edge of the table as she considered her words. “I honestly don’t know how I would react if I had an expiration date,” she said. “I’d like to think I’d still be the same. But I’m sure I’d have my moments of questioning God, plus moments of doubt and self-reflection, and perhaps, anger. But I think that’s normal. I’m only human, and He doesn’t want me to hide from Him. I also know that He is my rock, and His plans for my life are beyond what I could ever imagine. Whatever happens in this world is nothing compared to the glory that awaits us if we believe in Him.”

Matt grunted a reply. A muscle twitched in his jaw as he stared out at the ocean. Brooding and distant. His silence was deafening. Had she said too much? She hadn’t meant to sound pushy, but she also wasn’t about to hide from her truth. She uttered a silent prayer for the softening of Matt’s heart. That a seed would take root. That God would heal his disappointments and Matt would realise his need for a Saviour and discover that his worth wasn’t in what he did, but in who he was. Brie wasn’t blind or ignorant to the extent of his disappointments and heartache. She’d never been an elite athlete with lofty dreams and goals and had them suddenly stripped away. But she had endured her own moments of darkness and walking in the wilderness and questioning her future, and that had been enough to set her feet back on the right path.

Not knowing what else to say, Brie gathered their empty cups and placed them on the tray. It would seem trivial to bring up another topic of conversation now. Anything else she said would probably come across as an empty platitude, an attempt to make small talk when really, there was nothing left to say. Quietly thanking him for his company, Brie gathered the tray and made her escape while Matt remained staring out at the ocean.

Winston followed her inside and nuzzled her legs as she set the tray on the counter.

“Rocky misses you,” she said, patting the fluffy terrier. “As do I. I really hope this isn’t the last I’ll see of you.”Nor you, Matt.

With one last glance outside, Brie turned and made her way through the house, slipping out the front door with a heavy heart and a solemn prayer that Matt would open His heart to receive the unfailing love of his Heavenly Father.