Page 131 of Collision
“I’m so sorry. Please,pleasejust be okay. I need you.” I choke on my breath and squeeze his hand tight. “I need you, so you can’t go and do stupid shit like getting into accidents, Ben. You can’t do that to me.”
A shift of the sheets and a groan of pain pulls me up from where I’ve buried my face and my heart sputters as I stand.
He blinks as he looks at me, his gaze showing something life-like beneath waves of pain, and I choke on another sob.
“You’re here.” It’s all he says.
“I’m here,” I repeat, my fingers brushing gently over his face, soaking in the fact he’s awake. He’s awake and speaking and his eyes are so blue.
“Mik. I - I’m so sorry” His voice shakes and my heart aches.
“It’s okay. It’s all okay” Soft groans pull from his chest as he tries to sit and I place my hand on him. A gentle way of telling him not to move. He coughs and groans, and I try not to hurt him as I pull away.
“No.” His hand lifts and he reaches for me. I take it in both hands. “Don’t. Don’t go, Mik.”
“I’m not. I’m not going anywhere.” My voice is thick with tears as he nods and closes his eyes. “I’m right here.”
He sighs as I sit and, eventually, he slips into a morphine induced sleep.
I watch him and I hold onto his hand as tight as I can.
“Now,whileIwishit were under better circumstances, I am glad to see this.”
My head snaps up. I must have fallen asleep. Ben’s chest moves steadily and my hand is still tucked into his. And Julia Haston is standing in the doorway, her hair dishevelled and a wild gleam in her eyes.
“Mrs Haston.” I stand quickly and glance back to Ben. How much does she know?
“Well, tickle me pink. Mikaela Wilcox is the girl who has my son’s heart in a twist.”
“I - erm - Ben’s stable. He was awake a little while ago. He’s - he -” And then her arms are around me as I cry.
“Oh, shh. Don’t cry darling. The nurses told me everything.” Her hand brushes over my hair as I wrap around her and bury my face in the warmth of her. “It’s okay. He’s going to be okay.”
I nod as she holds me, soothing me, before she pulls us over to the chairs behind me.
Even in a disaster, with her hair tied back and yet still full of chaos, with her heart on the sleeve of the pyjama top she’s still wearing, her feet shoved into trainers clearly used for gardening, her body shaking with shock, Julia Haston holds herself together. She digs through her purse, her eyes glancing up at her son as he lay sleeping, before pulling out a pack of tissues and handing me one.
“Are you okay, Mikaela?”
I blink a few times, trying to find an answer to her question.
“I don’t know,” I admit as more tears come. “I - erm - I don’t know how much he told you.”
“Oh, absolutely nothing.” She smiles as she glances to Ben and pushes to her feet before running her fingers through the dishevelled mop of his hair and closing her eyes. “You know how he is. Won’t be vulnerable until he needs to be.”
I nod quietly.
He had been vulnerable with me and I pushed him away.
“Mrs Haston, I - erm - we...” I gulp as I watch her fuss over him.
“It’s okay, Mikaela. You can let Ben explain when he’s awake.” She smiles softly over her shoulder at me and I nod.
“Thank you.”
Ben’s Mom is kind and calm as she speaks and I listen. “Mikaela. My son, the stubborn creature that he is, has had you in his sights for a long time. And for a while, I won’t lie to you, I didn’t really approve.” She sighs when I glance to my hands. “Not because of you. Understand, dear, you are exactly what my son needs. But, for a long while, I was worried he wasn’t what you needed.”
I feel my face screw into a contortion of confusion and shake my head, still watching my fingers twist.