Page 29 of Collision
Two words. That’s all it takes to remind me of my place. Two very little, brutally honest words.
I shake my head, clearing away any lingering hope for a different answer, and bite down on my lip. Silently, I make my way out of the kitchen, smiling over at my brother and avoiding Ben’s gaze completely, and make my way down the hall to my mother’s room.
It’s time to wake her up anyway.
Present
“That’s the last one,” Jamie puffs as he puts the box down before throwing himself onto the small couch I found in a charity shop down the street. “So this is it, huh?”
I slump down beside my brother, my overalls hanging from me at an awkward angle and the grey bralette beneath damp with sweat. Glancing around the space, I let peace settle over me and I breathe it in.
Hanging baskets now descend from the exposed beam that seems to separate the living space from the kitchen area and Devil’s Ivy winds it’s way down above our heads in twisted rivers of green. The bedroom is almost set up; my bed pushed against the wall on the raised platform and a small dresser against the opposite. Instead of a single bulb as planned, I’ve wound small lights around the beam that runs around the sleeping space, and now they hum with a gentle glow as the sky grows darker outside. There is a soft breeze from the open window and I smile as Jamie throws his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in.
“This is it,” I sigh.
“It’s very you.” He chuckles as he takes in the tiny apartment. Where his is sleek and minimalistic, a manifestation of his need to control, mine is small and cozy and mismatched; chaos and creativity combined. There’s a real feeling of finally gaining my independence here, and when I glance up at Jamie I feel the swell of pride in my chest. I am proud of who he is and what he has achieved. I am proud of who I am becoming because of him.
“Take out?” He grins. “My treat.”
I laugh as my stomach grumbles and pull myself to my feet. Moving to the small kitchen, I search for the box with plates and cutlery and begin to pull things out, putting them in cupboards as I move through the space.
“There’s a Chinese two blocks away. If you phone it in we can take a walk and collect?” I stretch, trying to put the few bowls I have on to a top shelf, as the buzzer sounds.
No one else knows this address, not even Max, and my head cocks to the side as Jamie moves to where I am, taking over for me so that I can reach for the small phone hanging on the wall.
“Hello?”
Jamie watches me as I place the phone down slowly, press the button to open the external door, and turn to him with an ice cold glare.
Sometimes, when we were younger, he would do this; tell people things he knew he shouldn’t and then expect me to forgive him for it later. That was how Ben ended up crashing my fifteenth birthday on the pier. And apparently it is how Ben is now crashing my first night in my own place.
Jamie frowns and steps forwards, his mouth opening to ask why I’m looking at him like this, feigning his innocence, when the front door pushes open and he furrows his brow. For a second I genuinely believe the shock on his face, but then I turn to face Ben - Ben, who is smiling impishly at me, carrying two bags of takeout – and I find my common sense.
Idon’twanttoadmit it, but I’m kind of grateful for the food. It’s been a long day and as we sit around the small coffee table I liberated from a pile of thrown out furniture on the sidewalk - Jamie and I on the couch with Ben sprawled out on the floor in front of us - it kind of feels like when we were kids. Except now Jamie can’t send me away and Ben keeps glancing over at me rather than ignoring my existence.
Looking around the room, I contemplate how much there is left to do. My desk is only half built and my TV sits on the floor with wires spewing from its frame as some show no one is really watching plays in the background. My walls are bare and I know I want to find a way to incorporate art into my new home, a way to make it bright and up-lifting, and the exposed wooden floors need some love and life put into them. It needs work, that’s for sure, but I grin as I consider the fact that it is mine to fix.
“So.” Ben clears his throat as he lies back and stretches out, his thin black T-shirt lifting slightly to reveal the band of his Calvins and the hint of rock hard abs, and I look away quickly, focusing on the beam of wood that runs the length of my apartment above us. “What made you pick the first place you saw?”
I push to my feet, grabbing the empties and bringing them to the trash can, as I clamp down on the snarky retort that threatens to spill from my lips.
He brought food.
We have a truce.
I still want to throw something at him.
“It wasn’t the first place I saw.” My tone is clipped but I didn’t tell him to leave so that’s a win, right?
“Really?” He pushes up on his elbows and Jamie sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, as Ben continues with his thought. “So youchosethis neighbourhood?”
“Sorry.” I stare at him as he raises his eyebrows at me. That truce lasted long. “Not everyone wants to be surrounded by people who compete with flashy cars and homes that feel like museums.”
Ben grins as he lays back down and crosses his hands behind his head, clearly pleased with himself, and my blood boils.
“You’ve never been in my home, Mik.” His voice is all bubbly and amused and I hate it.
“And I don’t recall asking you to come to mine, Haston,” I retort, flipping him off when he laughs.