Page 27 of Save You

Chapter 10

Beth, now

When I release my newly dyed hair down my back, which has also been cut to my shoulders, I frown at my reflection. I’m not convinced I suit being a brunette; it makes me look like Dracula’s daughter with my pasty white skin. I could have cried when they cut the length off. Xander says I still look hot to him, but what else can he say?

Still, if this is all I have to do to keep Oliver away from me, I’ll take it, because, at the end of the day, it’s just hair. Speaking of which, Xander’s beard is coming in now and it’s aged him somewhat. Maybe it’s all the added stress I’ve brought into his life or maybe it’s the fact that he’s going to be a father in the next few months. Either way, he seems to enjoy the laziness that comes with it, shoving his hair behind his ears and just waiting for when he can tie it all up in a man bun. I frequently tease him about becoming a lumberjack and suggest he buys a plaid shirt and a pair of mountain boots.

Carol, a local nurse who knows Xander’s uncle from way back, came by shortly after we arrived, offering me healthcare for the duration of my pregnancy. After I give birth, we’ll have to reassess because a newborn baby is going to need things that she won’t be able to offer, such as vaccinations. It had all seemed so far away back then, but now that I’m six months and looking rather rotund, it’s all becoming scarily real.

Carol takes the usual measurements, listens to our baby’s heartbeat, checks my blood pressure, and tests my urine for protein and infections. My care has been like any other pregnant woman, just without the scans and blood tests. As far as she can tell, everything seems to be progressing along normally, though, it’s still a huge worry that nobody has actually seen the fetus. What if he or she has three arms? What if it resembles something more like an animal? I often have to talk myself down from these sorts of thoughts, because there is nothing that we can do about them. What we do know is that he or she is very active, and as far as Carol can tell, there’s only one in there.

Xander isn’t averse to feeling the baby kick, but I can tell it freaks him out a little bit, so I usually get him to hold onto my growing stomach just to mess with him. Sometimes I wonder what Oliver expected in terms of having children with me. I know they have this weird preoccupation with producing an heir, like something from a historical novel, but how many children did he intend on us having? Would I have had any say in the matter? How would the child be brought up and how much involvement would he or I have had in it? The potential answers terrify me and often have me clinging to my stomach while making all sorts of promises to our little one. Promises I hope I can keep.

Carol is just finishing up with me when she turns to face Xander, who is sitting casually on the bed beside me, and hands him a large carrier bag. He frowns before taking a peek inside. Shortly after, he begins to pull out baby items, such as clothes, books, toys, blankets, and teddies. When he pulls out a new-born baby grow, he grins like a little boy, then places it over my belly.

“Now, that’s cute!” he declares, pointing toward my now dressed belly and grinning cheekily. I ruffle my hand through his hair and kiss him, not even worrying about us having an audience. I just love him too much to care.

“Why don’t you read to the baby?” Carol suggests as she continues to pack up her medical equipment. “They say it’s supposed to add to their intelligence and helps them to recognize Daddy’s voice as well as yours, Beth.”

I glance up at Xander’s skeptical expression, grinning in encouragement. He huffs and begins shifting through a collection of board books before settling on one and getting up to lie beside me, where his face rests on my chest so he can read to my ever-growing bump. Even with Carol still in the room, he begins reading and putting on goofy voices for the characters, proving how much of a great dad he’s going to be.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Carol smiles with dopey eyes staring at Xander, who is both beautiful and loveable. “I’ll be back in a month to six weeks. We need to put a plan in place for the birth.”

She walks away and as soon as I hear the door bang closed from the front of the cabin, I allow my fear to seep in. I begin to have a silent panic attack over the thought of trying to squeeze a tiny person out with only Carol to help me, and without pain relief or medical care, should there be an emergency. I feel out of my depth, and whereas before I could leave it for my future self to worry about, that future self will soon be me, and I still have no answers.

“Is this having any effect?” Xander sighs, inadvertently breaking me out of my little mountain of stress.

“Hmm, what?” I mumble around my thoroughly chewed thumbnail. “Oh, yeah, definitely.”

“Liar!” He smirks and moves around so he is spooning me, one of the few positions that’s still comfortable in my current state. He places his hands softly over my bump and giggles when he feels a few tiny kicks from inside.

“I know you’re scared, I am too, but we’ll get through this together. When the baby’s born, we can make plans to join your folks over in England.”

“I know,” I smile half-heartedly, and reach up to run my fingers through the soft hair on his chin, “just seems so far away from now, and yet so close too.” He doesn’t say anything but begins kissing me on my temple, down my jaw, and into the crook of my neck.

“Make love to me?”

“Was going to,” he whispers with a grin in his voice.

Within moments, he slides into me, and we rock gently back and forth together, with me clinging onto every second, knowing that soon he won’t want to. I can understand, he feels weird about doing this while I’m carrying a child inside of me, but at least I’m not too big at the moment. As I moan out his name from an intense release, he kisses and nibbles at my shoulder.

When it becomes too much, I push his hand away from where he’s massaging me. He then begins to up his movements, hard and fast until another wave of pleasure begins to build up inside of me. There are some things from pregnancy I will miss; the intensity of having sex with him definitely being one of them. From his breathing and gentle hissing, I can tell he’s close too, so I open my legs wider to help him move from behind, and we fall together. His forehead rests against my dark hair and his hands move up to wrap around my chest, pulling me even closer to him. I don’t know why, but it makes me tear up. I guess my emotions are becoming too strong to hold in. Xander doesn’t ask what’s wrong, he just kisses one of my tears away and tells me he loves me. I say it back, having never meant any other words more than I do now.

Xander

It’s late and I’ve left Beth sleeping inside of the cabin while I go outside, in the dead of night, to call my uncle. It’s been three weeks since I last spoke to him, so I’ve been quietly optimistic that all is remaining calm and well. Surely if something was wrong, he would have called me. However, un-beknown to me, my optimism is about to come crashing down.

“I had a visitor a few days ago,” he says before he’s even said hello, “Beth’s grandfather, Carl Steele.”

“Fuck!” I hiss into the cold night air, with a billow of condensation swirling out of my mouth as I speak.

“Yeah, exactly. He offered me ten mill to give up your whereabouts.”

“What did you tell him?” I ask, holding my fist to my mouth in anticipation.

“Told him I didn’t know where either of you were, but if I did, I would encourage you to give yourselves up.”

“Did he buy it?”