Page 7 of Save You
“Christ!” he sighs under his breath. “Are you going to tell me about it? Or do you want to tell me to fuck off and mind my own business?” He laughs, and I find myself giggling with him. I look up with what must be a mess of a face and smile.
“I don’t think I could ever tell someone to fuck off!” I immediately blush at the sound of those words coming out of my mouth.
“Judging from what I’ve seen, I think you should try it,” he smirks, “it would be good for you. Heals the soul!” I laugh and shake my head over his silliness, even with everything he’s witnessed tonight. “I’m serious! Watch. Sadie, get in here! I know you’re at the door listening.”
A few seconds later, a rather sheepish-looking Sadie scuffles in with a hint of a smirk on her face.
“Sadie?” Tom says with a look that is as serious as a heart attack, to which she looks up at him with a healthy blush on her face. “Fuck off!” he says, making us both burst out laughing while poor Sadie looks indignantly at her brother.
“Fuck off back!” she giggles with a small stomp of her foot.
“Thank you for making me laugh,” I say to them both when we’ve eventually calmed down. “I think I needed that more than anything tonight.”
“Go and have a bath and get some sleep, darlin,” Tom whispers as he kisses my head one more time, then gets up to walk to the door. “We can talk in the morning. Whatever it is, we’ll look after you, won’t we, Sis?”
Sadie doesn’t say anything, just looks kindly at me and nods. My heart begins to feel warm again, and I bob my head back right before they leave me for the night. This must be what family feels like, even if they aren’t mine.
The following morning, I’m woken up by the sound of whispering outside my door. I say whispering, but it’s more like whisper shouting; the type that sounds like an argument going on between siblings. Not that I would know, being an only child, but I remember some of the girls at school with their sisters. The disorientation of everything slides away quickly, and once I’ve made my peace with where I am and why I’m here, I move up onto my elbows and wipe the sleep from my eyes.
“Come in!” my voice crackles toward the door, trying to run my fingers through my hair so it doesn’t look like an unwieldy mess. The whispering stops almost straight away, and I wait for a few moments before someone has the courage to either answer or open the door.
“Mornin’, darlin’!” Tom says in the same cheery tone from when I first met him, “are you decent?” I giggle at his ridiculous question but love the fact that’s he’s actually asked. It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever get used to.
“I wouldn’t have said to come in, otherwise,” I laugh when he opens the door with a sheepish grin and a rosy tint across his cheeks. “Are you actually blushing, Tom?”
“Of course not, it’s just a little warm, that’s all,” he says with that mischievous grin that makes me want to bite my lip to stifle my attraction to him. “Would you like some breakfast?”
My stomach rumbles angrily at the mention of food. I can’t remember the last time I ate properly, and I now have two mouths to feed. My rather unsubtle belly has him grinning and pointing at it.
“Someone obviously wants something to eat.”
Instinctively, I wrap my arms around my bump to cover it up, knowing that a single pregnant woman is not the sort of thing people easily accept. Even if I put my wedding rings on, there’s bound to be gossip if I am living in a Bed and Breakfast with another man. Tom looks at me as though he has personal access to my thoughts and fears, then turns around to close the door. I sit up against the headboard and bring my knees up to my chest, bracing myself for what he’s about to say to me.
You need to leave.
This is a family business.
I have a young, impressionable sister.
I have lovers.
“It’s ok, Tom,” I whisper as I pick at the ribbon on his mother’s long and very modest nightdress. It’s old-fashioned and discolored, but I like it because it covers my entire body. No one can see my baby growing; no one can see my scars. I imagine the previous owner was a loving mother who was reputable, honest, and good. She’d probably be rolling in her grave if she could see her nightgown being worn by a woman who has fled from her husband, especially with his unborn child growing inside of her. A woman now sitting in her very bed and talking with her handsome, single son.
“I understand completely. I’ll get changed and leave; you don’t need any of this.”
“And what exactly isthis?” He sits on the edge of the bed before lying casually across it, propping his head up onto his fist as he leans down onto his elbow. In another life, we could have been friends, divulging all our secrets without any of the shame attached to it. “What are you running from? Your husband, I’ll bet.”
“Him, and my life, I guess.”
He watches me with his full attention on what I have to say. Something else that’s new to me. Back in the fold of Mayfield, women like me are expected to be seen and not heard. They should never speak their own opinions and they definitely should not speak against their husband.
“I can’t go back…ever. He would have me give birth and then kill me…or worse.”
Whatever happened to Lucy Thompson would pale into insignificance if Carl got me back in his clutches.
“Sounds like a scary guy. Is he the one who hurt you?” I nod and I see a tightness spread across his usually carefree face.
“I’m not giving you my sob story, Tom,” I say with a sigh, “I left the moment I found out I was pregnant. I left for whoever is growing inside of me.”