Page 75 of When the Ice Melts
CHAPTER 17
Axel. Spiral. Crossover. Somehow everything hard and horrible about what her life had become was able to be exorcised while she skated. The intensity, both physical and emotional, shredded Addisyn’s breath. She flew into a combination spin straight from her Salchow landing. The rhythm of the music merged with her heartbeat.
She ripped the pain out of her soul, threw it to the wind. Glide, twizzle, turn. At times like this, she was flying, she was escaping from all—
“No!” Brian’s shout abruptly shattered her reverie. He switched the music off and began waving wildly at her, signaling her to come to the side of the rink.
Addisyn bent and gripped her knees, gasping for breath. Her dreams of perfection seemed to vanish like her cloudy breath in the cold room. Once again, she remembered where she was—in an ice rink in Chicago, practicing the routine that she would perform for Ed Bourns in five days.
“Stop singling your double Axel!” Brian’s face was scarlet. Impatience grated on the edges of his voice. “Remember, that forward lunge has to be there; that’s a much more impressive entry. And don’t cheat that last bit of rotation! Ed is going to notice that.” He waved his hand in disgust. “Try that section again. Starting at the Lutz.”
Addisyn wearily glided back to the middle of the arena. The rink was cold, so cold that Brian was wearing a white cardigan, but she could feel sweat running down her back. She positioned herself and waited for the music to start.
How long had she been in Chicago? She rotated her head, trying to ease the stiffness in her shoulder blades. Let’s see. Their flight had come in late Tuesday night...and now it was Friday morning.
It seemed both unreal and obvious that she would be there. Part of her still believed that this felt natural, that yes, she had skated her whole life, and she’d never really left the rink.
But part of her—a bigger part—was still back in Whistler. Watching the cream swirl in a cup of perfect coffee, waiting for Darius to walk through the door and toss his lopsided grin at her with all the glow of morning light in his blue-green eyes.
Addisyn didn’t cry anymore when she thought about Darius. Not because she wasn’t upset about the situation, but because she couldn’t cry. Her heart had become a granite rock from which no tears could come.
Every day in Whistler had been an adventure. Every day in Chicago was about the same. Get up, eat breakfast with Brian, hit the gym. Lunch, then practice all afternoon. In the evenings Brian usually took her out to eat at some ritzy place.
“Hang on!” Brian’s voice was brassy with exasperation. He was fumbling with the wires attached to the portable sound system they used. “It’s not working. Gimme two seconds.”
“All right.” Funny, the relationship they had. She was disgusted with him. He was often impatient with her. They talked about skating, Ed’s discerning eye, whether Addisyn should wear her hair in a bun or a ponytail for the competition. They’d never looked down the road of their own relationship. Probably because neither of them wanted to know.
She glanced over at him, feverishly jiggling tangled electrical wires. He still called most of the shots. Just as he always had. But not all.
A tiny smile tugged at the corners of Addisyn’s mouth as she remembered. Their first night in Chicago, Brian had walked her confidently upstairs to a luxurious master suite.
“Here, baby.” He pushed the door open to reveal the epitome of opulence. “Got us the best room in the house.”
Addisyn hadn’t thought through her reaction. Her decision wasn’t predetermined. But suddenly resolve swelled her soul. Her feet didn’t cross the threshold. “Brian, if it’s okay with you...I would like my own room this time.”
Brian had stared. Then laughed—a half-laugh, incredulous and outraged. “Your own room?”
It was her chance to retract the statement, to give in and shrug it off. But not this time. Addisyn had bitten her lip and nodded.
“You want a room by yourself?” Brian had turned red all the way to the roots of his hair.
She shrugged. “I’d like that very much. If you don’t mind.”
She couldn’t meet his gaze, but she could sense his fury, feel his eyes burning right through her. Then, just when she’d thought he might explode, he had seemed to come to terms with the situation. “Right. Okay.” He still looked a little disoriented—like the bird that had hit the window of their apartment in New York City once. “I’ll reserve another room.”
Immense relief had washed over Addisyn—along with an incredibly satisfying feeling, the feeling of having, for once, done the right thing. She’d half-expected Brian to harass her later about it, or give her the cold shoulder for a while, but he’d never mentioned it again. Maybe he was trying to be more of a gentleman himself.
“Addisyn!” Brian was calling her. Addisyn pushed the toe of her skate into the ice and effortlessly glided to the wall, turning sharply to brake. Brian’s face was tired and haggard. “It’s not working.” He sighed. For the first time he looked like just a normal guy instead of a millionaire in the making. “I’m gonna go see if I can find the maintenance man to help me check some circuits, stuff like that.”
“Okay.” Addisyn nodded. “What do you want me to do?”
Weird, she was repelled by this man, yet she could talk to him with some degree of civility, even obey his orders. It was as if they were partners, in a strange way—fellow travelers on the road to the Olympics, forced to share their journey with each other.
“Just...” Brian looked vaguely around the arena, then met her gaze again. “Just take five and sit on the bleachers. Maybe stretch a little. Listen to the music on your phone.” He took her hand. “You’ve earned a break, baby. Look, I know I’m a little edgy, but you really are doing good, okay? I’m just worried about Ed. I want this to go perfect for you.”
His grip on her hand had tightened. Addisyn gently released her fingers. “Yes. Okay.” Her mind and heart were too tired to come up with anything else to say. Like, why was he so worried about her success that he had to scream at her all day for her to achieve it?
“Be right back, then.” Brian turned and plodded out of the arena. Maybe he was as weary as Addisyn was.