Page 1 of Kisses

Chapter 1

Lyla

It's my senior year of college, and I have changed my major yet again. It’s crazy to think that, at 21 years old, I am supposed to know what I want to be when I grow up. I just legally started drinking.

I have been an avid writer and reader since I was a child. My father would always laugh at the silly stories I came up with. Yeah, I have been debating, for some time, about majoring in creative writing. But let's be honest here; that does not pay the bills. Granted, I have a lovely trust fund available once I graduate college. I don’t want to rely on that, though. I have been given pretty much everything in life, especially after my mother was killed in a mass shooting.

When her life was taken from me, I was left everything, but with stipulations. I would receive her estate in increments. I got a portion when I graduated high school, and then, when I graduate college -- or when I turn thirty, whichever comes first – I will get the remainder of it. My mother was smart to have this in place, and my father was on board.

I have one older sibling, Tate. He is really my half-brother. We have different mothers. One could say, my father was a bit of a ladies' man in his younger years. My mother and he never married. When I moved in with him and my brother, Tate, it wasn’t really that different – my father is an attorney. It was like moving from one mega home to another. I was able to stay at the same high school because my parents lived in the same neighborhood. But I digress.

Since my mother’s death, I have had an interest in crime, and how the killer thinks. I was obsessed with my mother’s assailant. I was sixteen when it happened. My father thought I was crazy for wanting to learn everything about this guy. I will never know the answer to why he did what he did, however, because he was gunned down by the police. Yeah, it sucks.

My major of choice is journalism. I have high hopes of being a criminal investigator with the school paper. My best friend and roommate, Kandace, is taking some of the same classes as me. She decided to minor in journalism with an English major. We met, our sophomore year, in a calculus class. Since then, we have been inseparable. Her upbringing is the polar opposite of mine. She comes from a blue-collar family who has invested in her college education.

Kandace and I share a cute, little townhouse just a few blocks from the university. I am so glad it’s just us two. Last year, there were four of us. None of us were on the same schedule and it made it quite difficult. Once the other two graduated, we took over the lease and agreed it would only be us. We didn’t care that the rent would be more expensive.

***

The first week of school brings on several parties. Between the fraternities and sororities, someone has to have a party. A lot of times, you don’t even need an invite. You can just walk up and enjoy the fun. However, Kandace is dating someone in Omega Phi, and we got the details. Omega Phi throws epic parties. Also, it’s hook-up city.

I haven’t dated much while being at University of Nebraska-Lincoln, by choice, mostly. I hung out with several guys that took care of my womanly needs, though none of them were boyfriend material. One could say, I am picky as hell. A lot of it has to deal with watching my father, and then my brother, with their open-door policy with women. Tate definitely took after our father. My mother would always say that my father was never one to settle down. She was his longest relationship. And that was off and on for ten years. Then my mother was done. I think she got bored with my father.

Here's the thing; my mother was a lot like my father. They had a mutual agreement on what type of relationship they had. I was oblivious of it until I was thirteen. I realized my “family” was not like other families. As much as I hate to admit it, my parents were swingers. That is how they met. To be frank, I have no problem with the swinger lifestyle, I just don’t think it’s the lifestyle for me. Then again, I have no clue what I want. One could say, I am confused as fuck.

I am in my room when I hear Kandace yell, “Lyla, what the hell is taking you so long. I told Mack we would be there in twenty minutes. I know that whatever you wear, you will look fine.”

I laugh, “Girl, I didn’t plan out what I was going to wear several hours ago.”

“You should’ve. This could be your lucky night. You might meet someone you would want to have sex with for more than a month.”

“Ha, ha. You’re a funny gal,” I quip. Kandace knows all about my history with men, and how I was brought up by sex-crazed swingers.

“You know, after all these years of knowing you, I am still shocked about the lifestyle your parents lived. I can’t imagine my parents being like,” she comments, “eww.”

Shaking my head, I laugh, “Thanks for the eww. It’s just how they were.”

“It still boggles my mind. Then, there is you, Miss I am Bored with Every Guy I Meet.”

“I can’t help it that I haven’t met that special person who makes me swoon. And be honest, neither have you. Mack is just Mr. Right Now.”

“Your point? He is fun! Plus, he has mad connections. I will continue to fuck him until his connections become my connections.”

I shake my head and say, “Kandy, I just don’t know about you.”

“Lyla, you have one life. Live it the way you want to.”

“I am.”

“I’m calling bullshit. You’re on autopilot, for whatever reason. Live it up.”

Rolling my eyes is my only response. It is the same song and dance every time we go out. I know Kandace means well. She wants me to be a free spirit and enjoy life. It is just hard to know what that is. I have no clue what love is supposed to look like. I know sex. That’s the easy part. But to have interest in someone… I just haven’t felt it. It’s one of the major reasons I can’t connect. I am clueless. The only love I have experienced is the love of a parent. With never really being in a relationship, I wouldn’t know if I had the warm and fuzzy feelings for someone. I know it’s odd but I just haven’t connected.

It is ridiculously hot and humid out. My long, wavey, light brown hair will go flat within an hour. I will eventually have to pull it into a messy bun because it’s stupid sticky out and I sweat easy. This time of year, in Nebraska, is just brutal.

I look at myself in the mirror. I chose to wear a University of Nebraska-Lincoln tank top that isn’t too revealing. I have been blessed (not really) with large breasts. Most little tanks, I can’t wear. The girls would be popping out. Plus, when talking to a guy, I don’t want him making it too obvious that he is staring. My shorts are a little short, but I do have super long legs. The joys of being a 5’10” female.

I walk out of my room and down the stairs to see my best friend chatting on the phone with someone. She looks at me and rolls her eyes.