Page 11 of Renegade

“What name do you like better?” I ask.

“Brooklyn,” she says with a smile.

Feeling the full effects of the alcohol, I lean closer to her and rest my hand high up on her thigh. “You will always be Brooklyn to me,” I say and search her eyes. She is searching mine and I don’t know what the fuck is happening here, but the need to taste her is overwhelming. I need to know her taste and hear her sounds. I want to feel her pressed against me while I explore her mouth. I lean forward and the second my lips touch hers, she pushes me back.

She shakes her head and pushes my hand off her thigh. “I can’t, it’s wrong. You’re a rock star and I have a boyfriend.”

I grab her hands and hold them under the table, entwining our fingers together. “Brooklyn, what scares you the most?”

She tries to pull her hands away, but I tighten my hold on them. She looks at me with sadness and heat in her eyes. “Change scares me, this scares me.”

I smile and lean forward, kissing her forehead. “Good, because it scares me too.”

I roll over and attempt to open my eyes, but that big beautiful window I loved yesterday, I hate today. My head pounds and the sun hits me right in the face. I lay there thinking for a minute and jolt up, which does my head no good. I look around completely confused. How the hell did I get home last night and who put me to bed? Fear hits me for a minute and I lift the covers and breathe a sigh of relief when I see I’m still in the same clothes.

Closing my eyes, I think back to last night. It started out as awful as I thought it would be. I felt so out of place and shy around everyone. They all have this bond that I could only wish to have with a group of people and I felt like such an outsider. I listened to their stories and answered questions when they were asked of me, but I just wanted it to be over.

It got even worse when Fitz first got there. Watching him up on stage made me feel things I definitely shouldn’t have been feeling. It was just impossible not to. He’s so incredibly talented and the way he was with his band and the fans made me feel like he must be someone special. You’d have to be blind not to notice how unbelievably hot he is and the way he owned that stage, damn it was a sight.

So, when he was standing there when I got out of the bathroom, my stomach dropped and my heart raced. Nervous to meet him, to actually speak to him, I considered the things his voice had done to me while he was on stage. I was even more nervous after we all sat down and I just wanted to leave. It was too overwhelming for me, especially when Ethen brought over a round of shots. I didn’t want to do it. I’ve never done a shot and I sure as shit wasn’t going to try my first one with the eyes of Renegade looking at me.

When they all kept pushing me, the embarrassment I felt was as bad as when Hank rejected me. When Fitz stood up and not only took the shot for me, but yelled at everyone on my behalf, my heart melted. No one has ever stood up for me like that before and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom because I was so touched by it that I started to cry. It made me question so many things, things I’m not ready to answer yet. Like, why the hell am I still with Hank? He would never have stood up for me like that, ever.

Things got so much better from then, starting with Fitz coming to check on me in the bathroom. When he hugged me, I felt something I’ve never felt before. It was like something between us grabbed ahold and connected. From that point on, he did nothing but surprise me. He wasn’t this guy that I thought he’d be. He wasn’t getting trashed and flirting with a bunch of different women, he was with me. Little bank manager, ordinary, shy me. We talked and laughed and I felt special. When I started drinking, I just felt like Brooke from California was gone and Brooklyn from New York replaced her. It was liberating.

I don’t remember much after my second drink. I remember Fitz trying to kiss me and holy shit I never wanted something so bad in my life, but I’m not a tramp. I won’t cheat on Hank, even though every part of my body was begging me to do it. Pleading with me to experience something that would be once in a life time. I didn’t do it though, not even as Brooklyn. After that everything went fuzzy. I remember dancing a little, laughing a lot and Fitz’s smiling face.

Opening my eyes, the brightness is making my head hurt more. I need to take something before I’m stuck in bed all day. Kicking the covers off of me, I stretch and get out of bed. Having to steady myself, because I start to tip over. I guess I need to get used to drinking. Slowly, I make my way to the living room to see if Poppy is awake, feeling weird going through her stuff to look for ibuprofen without her knowledge.

When I get out in the living room, Poppy paces the floor with her phone to her ear. “Listen Glenn, I will tell you when and where my guys will go and they sure as shit aren’t going to that crap venue. If you want them, you need to find something that fits a hell of a lot more people and that isn’t crumbling to the damn ground.”

She’s so tough. I wish I had half the attitude she does. Sensing my presence, she turns and gives me a huge smile. Holding up a finger, indicating give her a minute, I shake my head and go to the kitchen to get some water. I chug down almost the whole bottle and I’m shocked I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.

“Sorry, I just had to take care of that. Business and all,” she says as she reaches into the cabinet. She hands me the bottle of ibuprofen and I look at her in confusion. I never even mentioned my head yet. She laughs and hops up on the counter. “I figured after last night you’d need that.”

I graciously take them from her and swallow down three, hoping to get my head under control. I look at her and she still has that huge smile in place. “What?” I ask and laugh, but it hurts my head and I quickly stop.

“Nothing. I’m just glad you ended up having a good time last night, that’s all,” she says and grabs a box of crackers out of the cabinet, tossing them to me. “You and Fitz seemed to hit it off.”

I finish eating a cracker and try to hide my smile. I’m acting like a damn school girl. “Surprisingly, we did have a good time. Speaking of last night, I don’t even remember how we got home.” I figure I will try to change the subject off of Fitz.

“Well now that’s a good story. So after you and Fitz got down and dirty on the dance floor, you passed out. I was too drunk to carry your ass home, so Fitz did. He tucked you in too,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows and I feel my face blush. Although it’s not a blush of embarrassment, it’s because I was kind of hoping he was the one who put me to bed. It’s wrong, I know it is, but I can’t help it. “I think he likes you, Brooklyn.”

This makes my heart stop beating and I slowly lift my head to look at her. “What? No, he’s just being nice. He knows I’m with Hank. Anyway, he’s a huge rock star, he doesn’t want to waste his time with someone like me,” I say, unfortunately, meaning every word.

“First of all, Fitz wouldn’t give a shit if you were married. Second of all, he may be a rock star, but he’s a person, a person who doesn’t judge people on who they are or where they came from. It wouldn’t matter to him if you were a princess or a bum. I saw the way he was with you last night and in all the years I’ve known him, he’s never been like that with anyone.” She smiles and jumps off the counter. “Just food for thought.”

Food for thought? “Poppy, don’t get me wrong, you’d have to be blind and deaf not to be attracted to him. He’s incredibly sweet and funny and easy to talk to, but I’m with Hank. I won’t cheat on him, that’s not why I came out here.” There I said it. She walks into the living room and sits on the unique purple couch. I follow her and sit down next to her. “Did you hear me?”

“Of course I heard you,” she says and twists her body to face me. “Call Hank and dump him.”

I start to laugh and lightly shake my head. “What? You’re crazy, I can’t do that. I won’t do that. No, no way.”

“Fine. Well, listen. I was talking to Nate before and he said that Fitz is going to be calling you. Nate said Fitz had a surprise for you. Just thought I’d give you a heads up,” she says and turns back to look at the TV.

“Wait, what? What could Fitz have for me?” I ask, completely taken back by this.

“Girl, I don’t know. Nate didn’t say and he probably doesn’t know. This is out of the norm for Fitz, so your guess is as good as mine.” She doesn’t look at me, but continues to stare at the TV.