Page 77 of Fireworks

“It’s fine Nate. You got what you needed. Don’t apologize for doing the same thing you always have. It’s my fault for thinking things would be different.”

Standing up, she grabbed a dress out of the top drawer of her dresser before storming off to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind her as the sound of the lock turning reverberated across the hall. Rolling my face into her pillow, smelling her shampoo on the pillowcase didn’t help me sort through my thoughts any easier.

After cleaning myself off, I debated what I should do. I could sleep it off in Asher’s room for a bit, get back on the road, or sit down with her and be honest. For once in my life, man up and do the right thing, no matter how much it scared me to death.

The sound of the door opening down the hall made my heart stop. Stepping into the room, her face dropped all emotion as our eyes aligned. She crossed the room, picking up her hairbrush and running it through her wet hair, her back to me the entire time.

“You don’t know how hard this is for me.”

I half expected her to cut me off like she usually did but was met with silence as she continued brushing her hair like I wasn’t even here.

“I care deeply for you, Katie. You know that.”

Her hand brushed against her cheek to hide a tear that had fallen. Hurting her is the last thing I ever want to do. It seems like no matter what I did, that was going to be the outcome.

Getting up from the edge of her bed, I crossed the room, brushing my thumb across her cheek, catching the next one that fell before my hands reached down, clasping hers between mine tightly.

“I’m fighting a losing battle here, Katie. I want to sit here and lie and say I feel nothing for you and be able to walk out that door and not look back. But I fucking can’t. You are the most beautiful, sarcastic, smart, pain in my ass person in my life that I can’t live without.”

Tears filled her eyes to the brim as she fought back letting them fall.

“I don’t know how to do relationships. I never have, and you should know that by now. When have I ever brought someone home to meet everyone? I’m so damn busy I don’t even know when I’d have time. It wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve so much better than I can ever give you, Katie.”

Her eyes couldn’t even meet mine, and I knew what an asshole I sounded like right now. Making excuses when all she wanted to hear was that I wanted to be with her.

“Can I take you somewhere?”

The weight bearing down on my chest was making it hard to breathe. I needed to get away, but not from her.

“Where?”

Her voice was low as she twisted the locket around her neck between her fingers.

“You’ll see.”

*****

Pulling into my usual spot, there were a few planes already flying up overhead. Harry had his hands full, keeping up with everything and still having time to get up for his own pleasure.

Itried to come by and help as often as I could; I owed him a lot, taking a shot with me. He was planning on shutting down the day I walked through hisdoor. It was like fate drew me to that hanger. On the first day, I was only looking for information. I didn’t know where to start. All I knew was I wanted to fly a plane.

Going somewhere with planes seemed like a good place to start. The minute he asked me what drew me here,I told him I wanted to feel what my dad did when he was up there. We got to talking and two hours later he had disclosed his tours and the rush he always loved, even during the stressful times in war zones.

When I mentioned my last name, his eyes grew wide, asking if there was any relation to Captain Joshua King. Of course, I said yes, a hot poker being shoved down my throat. He looked back at me, telling me story after story of their training together. Offering his condolences, he told me how my father used to speak so highly of me. Harry assured me my father would be so proud, knowing I grew up with a good head on my shoulders. He confided what an honor it would be to help me learn to fly safely.

He confessed that if I was anything like my father, I’d catch on within a few times up and not even need him anymore. Of course, we kept the fact that he had flown with my father a secret when my mom came to meet him. I knew that could send her mind back somewhere she’d worked so hard to get away from. She was told what she needed to hear to let me keep going up in the air.

We sat in the truck for over an hour, just watching as the planes took off and landed. It was like a ballet in the sky, the way they slowly went from being on the ground to flying high above us before they would disappear. The landings were smooth as they lowered onto the runway before slowing like they weren’t just thousands of feet up in the air. My throat was dry as I cleared it before speaking.

“This is where I come to clear my head.”

I finally had the nerve to break the silence in the cab but she still sat there motionless, wringing her hands together like she was afraid to speak or move.

“Why didn’t you just join like your dad if you wanted to be up there so bad?”

Her question caught me off guard and it took me a minute to get my nerve up to answer.

“I knew my mom would never allow it.”