Page 45 of Glass

18

POPPY

“Mmm smells good.” Felix wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me against his chest.

I hold my coffee mug up in acknowledgement before asking, “Do you want me to fix you a cup?” I’m pretty sure the coffee is the only thing keeping me on my feet at this point. And I’m genuinely worried the moment I sit down I’m going to be fast asleep anyway.

“I meant you,” he teases, turning his face into the waterfall of hair at my neck and inhaling deeply.

I laugh as I push him away. “Shelby made me swear I wouldn’t ruin all her hard work re-taming my hair for me, so you can thank her for the amazing shampoo smell.”

Felix groans and pulls away.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did mentioning the kids kill the mood?” I ask, glancing over at him with a sly grin as he opens the cabinet for a mug of his own.

“A little,” he grumbles, but he offers me a wink that confirms he’s unbothered. What happened in the bedroom was downright transcendent. Neither of us could possibly have the energy to go again so soon. We both need a good night’s sleep before falling back into bed together is even on the table again.

That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the teasing and sudden lightness between us.

Part of me feels guilty for the lighter mood that’s descended in the apartment. There’s still a lot of bad surrounding us, but for just a little while, I want to enjoy my mate bond. I don’t know how much time I’m going to get with him like this; I don’t want to take a single moment for granted while I have him.

It doesn’t help that I’m second-guessing myself. What am I really even basing my decision to leave on? A fear that being Lost will keep my family away?

We’re either strong enough to survive everything together or we’re not. It can’t be both ways. And if it’s the latter, then what am I really risking anyway?

I’m asking myself so many questions, but I keep coming back to the same one.

Who do I want to be?

So much of my identity has been wrapped up in my search for the kids, and they turned out to be safe all along. Felix and Doc took good care of them, and I’m thankful that even though they couldn’t be with me, they turned out to be with them.

But now I have to figure out who I’m going to benext.

And I don’t think it’s a decision I’m ready to make until I’ve faced Gabe. Even if it hurts. Even if I don’t like what he has to say.

“Hey, Felix?” I wait until he looks at me. “I think it’s time to hear Gabe out.” He nods, a grim set to his mouth. I hope I don’t regret this.

* * *

I worked so hard to steel myself to face my brother, but it feels like I might as well not have bothered when he actually shows up at the door. I’m genuinely thrown for a loop when Felix opens the door for him, and Gabe comes storming in with his hand firmly wrapped around Frank’s shirt collar.

“Easy,” Frank grumbles, ripping away from Gabe’s grasp once they’re in the center of the apartment’s open living space.

Gabe narrows his eyes at Frank. “Watch yourself. It would have been just as easy for me to deliver your head in a box as it was for me to drag you here. I don’t mind taking you out of the building that way if needed.”

Frank blanches.

“I brought you a gift,” Gabe says to me, raising his chin in a prideful way that seems just a little too forced. Gabe’s dark eyes shimmer, as if he’s fighting off tears.

Felix closes the apartment door before moving to my side. I can feel the tension radiating off of him before he says a word. I reach out and lace my fingers with his, hoping it will be enough to calm him down, even momentarily. I know we still need to deal with Frank and figure out why he’s been going after Felix and The Lost; but my brother stands before me, and I’m desperate for the answers I was too scared to get in the early hours of the morning.

“Why?” I direct the one word question at Gabe, my voice cracking. His whole face shutters with anguish.

“I hated them, Poppy. Every bit as much as the rest of you hated them.” He puts his hands behind his head and paces away a few steps. “Mom reached out after Greg died. She had kept in touch with him and knew something was wrong when he stopped taking her phone calls.”

None of this surprises me. Greg was a monster hellbent on continuing to build the cult our parents started. Of course they kept in contact.

“We were already fracturing and heading off in different directions. It was too late for her to try to talk me into taking over for Greg, and I would have never done it anyway.” Gabe’s voice grows more fierce, as if the memories alone are enough to renew the anger inside of him.