Page 18 of DadBod

The answer to that is, swamped.

“But––that’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” Jeriann mimics. “You should have thought about that before you smack-talked my best friend.” She turns, I guess facing Jackie. “We all expected better from you.”

“Fuck you, Jeri.”

“No, Jackie. Fuck. You.”

When it’s just Jeriann and me, I say, “I could’ve handled that myself, you know.”

“But you wouldn’t have, honey bun. You would have let their stupid, insensitive comments fester.”

“No.” I shake my head.

“Honey bun… whenever anyone says anything about that gorgeous, unique smile of yours, you turn inward. I’ve seen it plenty of times.”

“I hate my teeth.”

“I know.” She wraps her arms around me. “Someday, honey bun, you’re going to meet a guy that gets a hard-on every time you smile.”

“Oh my God.” I crack up. “That’s disgusting.”

“Disgusting and true.” She makes the universal blow-job gesture with her hand and her tongue in her cheek, and I lose it again. “You’re fucking gross, Jeri.”

“Gross, or right?”

“Definitely gross.” I move around her with a tray of soft drinks and run smack-dab into Rome, causing every one of my glasses to fall from the tray onto the floor. “Shit.” I should blame him because he usually stays away from our area unless he’s got to change out the soda tanks.

“Fuck. Sorry, Elizabeth.”

“No.” I turn to remake the drinks, leaving the tray and glasses where they lie. “I’ll get those in a second.”

“I’ll get them.” He’s already squatting on the floor picking up ice, cups, and the tray.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, Rome?” It’s Jeriann. What the hell’s she gonna say now.

“What?” His voice is a snap.

“Monica and Jackie were just saying disparaging things about Elizabeth in regard to her entertaining your kid while he’s here. Apparently, they don’t like it.”

“Jeri—”

“No, honey bun. He needs to know he’s got a couple pit vipers working here.”

“Pit vipers?” I want to laugh, but I hold it in. I’ve got to focus and get these drinks out.

Rome sighs. “I’ll take care of it.”