Page 12 of Almost There
5
Tessa
The early morning rays of sun beat down on the dusty slab of a city and cracked the dry earth in its wake. Everything was quiet, everyone sleeping off the events of last night, as Tessa carried Emily to the truck. Mason struggled along behind them; his cheeks flushed with the early morning wake up call. Tessa strapped Emily in and the girl turned to curl up against the seat with her eyes closed.
“Did you get enough sleep?” Robin asked as she closed the passenger door behind her. Moose rested his heavy jaw on her lap, sighing as he stared at Tessa with bloodshot eyes, while Robin scratched behind his ear.
“You were supposed to wake me up.” Tessa adjusted the pillow under her bottom so she could see over the dashboard and shifted into drive. Every muscle in her body still ached, and whatever sleep she’d gotten was ruined by tossing and turning. But it was enough to get them through the day. She’d dealt with worse sleep deprivation when the kids were newborns. “Thank you for standing watch all night.”
“No problem.” Robin slid her sunglasses over her eyes. “I’m going to take a nap now. Wake me up if you need me.”
Tessa held the atlas pressed against the steering wheel as she turned down the broken and unmaintained roads to head back to the state highway.
“I can help.” Mason reached for the map. His eyes were glossed over and his head bobbed as he held his hand outstretched. He’s going to melt down if he stays awake.
“Why don’t you get some more sleep?” She gave him a soft smile.
“Mom, I can help.” Annoyance rolled off him in waves.
“This one is a little bit different then the ones you’re used to.” She’d taught him how to read maps when he was going through a treasure hunting phase, but he was no where near proficient enough to tell her where to go without a giant X marks the spot.
“Please let me help,” he whispered, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
She quickly memorized the next few roads and then handed the booklet to him. “We’re on highway one-eleven right now. Once we get past the Salton Sea, tell me where to turn left onto Lincoln Street.”
Mason’s shoulders straightened and he leaned forward to look past Tessa out the driver side window. “I can’t see any water. Why do they call it the Salton Sea? Is it salty?”
“So salty.” Tessa chuckled. “And it once was a really big lake made by accident. Now there’s not much water left.”
Mason turned to look at the map in his hands, his back tensing under some incomprehensible weight. “I’m sorry I pulled the plug from the sink. I didn’t know there wouldn’t be any more water.”
A strangled cry caught in her throat but she swallowed it before making a sound. “It wasn’t your fault. None of this is. And you are so very brave. And strong. I’m sorry things are weird right now, but it won’t always be this way.” Are you lying to him? She bit her lip and wished with all her heart that she wasn’t.
“I don’t feel brave.” He kept his head lowered as he stared at the map. “I’m scared, Mom. What if we never see Dad again?” Her heart wrenched in her chest and she wanted to rip it out, toss it into the desert wind, anything to make the hollow ache stop.
“Hey now.” She reached over to tuck his too long hair behind his ear. “You’re a superhero, you know that right? But even superheroes get scared. Bravery isn’t not having fear, it’s showing up even when you do feel it. And you know your dad will do anything to get back to us. I already told you that.”
Mason nodded once, steeling himself to face the day. And no matter how much he looked and acted like Landon, Tessa saw herself in the action. She blinked away her tears.
“It’s a really long way until we get to the turn-off.” At least twenty miles. “Why don’t you rest your eyes for a bit and I’ll let you know when we get closer.”
Mason tried his hardest to stay awake, but the quiet of the drive was just boring enough that his head fell back against the seat and his breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. The sun had cleared the mountains and was warming the glass windows, but it was still cool in the truck. Tessa didn’t want to risk opening them anyway and waking someone up. In an ideal world, they would all stay asleep until she could get them to safety. In an ideal world the apocalypse wouldn’t happen and your neighbors wouldn’t be crazy and you’d be with your husband right now.
She made the left turn onto Lincoln Street and eased the map from Mason’s lap with her attention focused on the landscape. A square lot of trailers sat on the side of the road and the flash of a curtain moving caught her eye. Tessa pressed harder on the gas pedal, speeding away as her pulse began to quicken.
All at once, a tingling sensation spread through her body and her vision tunneled as she stared at the road ahead. Her mind raced with images of people shooting. Her kids crying. Landon’s ship sinking. Him screaming for her as he drowned. She eased off the gas and coasted to a stop, pressing her forehead against the steering wheel.
Breathe. Her chest was too tight. The whole world spun on a broken axis. You’re going to survive this. The kids will be okay. Landon will be okay. She wiped her palms over her eyes, inhaling deeply through her nose and trying to sober her thoughts. She wanted to get out of the truck and walk for a minute to convince herself that the fears were insane. But nothing about the last two weeks felt sane.
She sucked in a shaky breath and counted to five.
One. You are strong enough to do this.
Two. Landon believes in you.
Three. You believe in him.
Four. The kids need you to get it together.